Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Things On My Mind

So there has to be 3 things on a magazine cover for me to buy it off the shelf: Britney Spears before she was medicated, Octomom, or anything to the with the FLDS. That is the Fundamental Latter Day Saints (Mormons with tons of wives and kids). When I saw them in their prairie dresses on the cover of a People magazine, I snatched it right up.

I was super excited to read about them and was all ready to be outraged and disgusted. Instead I found myself agreeing with some of their opinions. Shocking isn't it?

I realize that the FLDS handpicked 3 families to be interviewed so I am sure they are the families most likely to toe the line. But I really couldn't disagree too much with what was being said by the moms in this article.

Remember that raid on that huge FLDS compound? I totally supported that raid because they were going after parents who allowed their underage daughters to be married off. I am not talking 17 year old girls, I am talking 12 year old girls. Disgusting. Out of 439 children that were removed, 12 of them were found to have been married off between the ages of 12 and 15 and the husbands' trials will start in October. But all of the children, except 2, of been cleared to return to the ranch because everyone got re-educated. I truly hope that is the case.

So the parts I found myself agreeing with the FLDS moms had to do with diet, chores and family time. They quoted one mom as saying that she makes homemade rolls because store-bought rolls are "laundry bread" with the healthy parts washed away. I buy store-bought bread but you can't really fault a mom for feeding her kids whole grains. The children on this ranch milk cows and pitch in with the recycling and other household chores.......from the tone of this article you would think these kids were putting on hot tar roofs in the summer. My kids help bring groceries in from the car and help me sort laundry and "make" their beds. My kids are 2, 3 and 4 years old so they aren't that useful yet but I believe kids should do chores too and I don't wear a prairie dress.

This one mom also talked about how her daughter was exposed to an unmarried pregnant woman at the shelter, where they stayed after the raid. Now I know that surprise pregnancies happen to the best of us, but I have never met a single mom who really wanted to do child-rearing all by herself. Can we all just agree that having 2 parents is best? I don't care if it's 2 dads, 2 moms or an unwed couple. But it sure is a lot easier to parent with 2 adults instead of just one. Anyways, I wasn't as disgusted and enraged as I thought I was going to be.

Another thought that has been poking my frontal lobes this last week has to do with my oldest. Mike is 4.5 years old and is in Pre-K. This is Mike's 3rd preschool because he was on the verge of getting kicked out of the other 2 before I finally yanked him out and found a perfect fit for him. In his classroom there are 6 boys and 2 staff. And even though Mike is a lot more successful at this school, he is still a very demanding, high energy boy.

So my son is a case study. His lead teacher, Miss G. ,is working on her master's in education (or child development) and she is using Mike has her case study. She asked my permission, and I agreed, because I want to use the tips she will find in her research to help with his behavior at home. So I am grateful for that, but of course there is a part of me that is like great my son is a fucking case study.

Then Miss G. tells me after she presented Mike to her class, her fellow students start ripping on her and making her cry. WTF?! She told me that they believe the school is too rough on him and that maybe he has attachment issues. That is outrageous!

Let me tell you why they are wrong. After Mike's first unsuccessful preschool episode I took him to our pediatrician for an assesment. I actually believed the bullshit they were feeding me about Michael being hard of hearing, possibly autistic, only a 4 word vocabulary, etc. etc. My pediatrician rolled his eyes but agreed that responsible parents follow through with concerns like this, and since assesment is free through our school district then why not? Guess what? There is nothing wrong with Mike.

The 2 child behaviourists spent an hour with him and they said the only thing wrong was that they now needed a nap and they thought I was amazing. I was 7 months pregnant with Bekah at the time and they couldn't believe I was still standing. The diagnosis; a very energetic boy who would rather play than sit in a circle or do schoolwork.

So now Miss G. has made him her case study and they are not too hard on him and he does not have attachment issues! Mike needs rigid structure. External control for internal chaos, and me and the school are on the same page with this issue.

Attachment issues? Are you shitting me? I realize that there is a need to label Mike with something because then you will have a set method to deal with a set problem. Mike is very attached to friends and family. He has 2 parents at home, a large and super involved extended family,and a loving babysitter. I want to go to Miss G.'s class and set these people straight but obviously that would be inappropriate. The only label that really fits my son is, spazz.

Have you heard of Freecycle? It's a Yahoo! group where you can get free stuff, and get rid of your stuff. This week I swapped with another mom through freecycle. She took a bunch of Bekah's shoes and clothes and I got a DVD player that had only been used once. Sweet! Our old DVD player in the kids' rec room died after Mike gnawed through the cords (see paragraph above for the reason why). So Erik and I told Mike don't you dare do that again because it's not safe and that's not how you treat your belongings. We told him he would get electrocuted and asked him if he knew what that meant. He said, "That's when you light up, start shaking and get all bony.". Sounds like he has been watching too much Tom and Jerry.

I am sure by now you have heard of that woman who got attacked by her friend's 200 lb. chimp? I was watching the news and her current health status is that she has lost both of her hands, her eyelids, her nose and her lips and may be blind and have brain damage. They are keeping her in a medically induced coma so she can heal. It was announced this week that her family is going to sue the now dead chimp's owner. They are suing for $50 million, and I don't think that is enough. What a horrible story.

For anyone reading this for the first time I will inform you that I live in the East San Francisco Bay Area. The weather this week has been spectacular! Sunny and warm and trees are blooming. But my daughter got an ear infection and we have all been stuck inside, arrgh! After the ear infection she got some horrible diarrhea from the antibiotics, ugh! But now she is all better and it's gorgeous outside still so we will have one day to enjoy this weather before it rains again tommorrow. Beer drinking in the backyard is on my agenda for this evening, how about you?


Britta said...

Y'know, I took a couple of early child education classes and the criteria for which it is decided that a kid has "attachment issues" is so ridiculous and broad that I can see how a bunch of dumb-dumbs who are incapable of thinking outside "the box" could or would come to that conclusion. So much of the stuff that ECE people base their conclusions on is based on research that is like a hundred years old. I have disagreed VEHEMENTLY with some profs that I've had about their characterizations of things like ADD, as well. So, you know. Grain of salt.

My youngest is a gigantic spaz as well. She makes me weary just to even be in the same room with her.

Charlotte said...

Ok Britta let me tell you that Mike's teacher is 60 years old and has raised her own kids. So I take her opinion seriously and she listens to me too. So I was very upset when her classmates got on her case.

I am so glad you didn't judge me for calling my son a spazz. I said that recently at a party and a 20 something girl looked at me like I had just called my son a fucking retard. And I did not call him spazz within earshot.