Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Pure Randomness

I forgot how evil sleep deprivation is. I had insomnia last night, and for no good reason at all. And then just as I fell asleep I had a visitor, and then I fell asleep and got another visitor. To new parents let me tell you something; just when you get your bedtimes perfect, your child will reach a new milestone, and their bedtimes go to Hell.

We have "potty-trained" our youngest, hence the new milestone, and tons more laundry. And washing a urine soaked Britax Marathon car seat......why it's just delightful. And I know because I have done it before. Just when you think it's safe to remove the beach towel, it's not.

So today I am tired and I have been running late all day and forgot one kid's lunch and had to hand-deliver another child's lunch after school started. Don't worry my oldest never eats his lunch anyways, I just pack him one so I look good.

I showed up late to a play-group this morning at a person's house I have just met. She has 2 boys, but when I walked in I saw a snow-globe on a side table. My heart leaped into my throat and I started to pray that my 3 year old didn't see it.  Phew! He immediately became obsessed with the ceiling fans instead. I used to own decorative holiday snow globes too. But my 2 boys look at a globe and think, "Hey, a ball!".  Shattered snow globes are not decorative. And they are a bitch to clean up.

At my oldest son's elementary school they are going to have a multi-cultural fair.  Families are to set-up booths representing their culture. I have been amusing myself all morning thinking how awesome it would be to have a White Trash booth. I could shape the booth like a trailer and wear cut-off shorts and nylons and serve Twinkies, Spam and Wine from a box. But that wouldn't be appropriate.

Original Lyrics By Michael

Michael: "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled poopers.".

Me: "That's not it."

Michael: "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a pistol in a pear tree.".

Me: "Please, do not sing that at school.".

Everyone is giving John Boehner a hard time for crying. Before I became a mother, I believed men should only cry when they are present at a birth, death or on mushrooms. Now I am trying to be more compassionate and fair. It's hard. I look at my kids' lives and can't imagine why they would be crying, except if they are in physical pain. I practice empathy daily. And as for John Boehner, you have to give credit to a guy who has convinced America that his last name rhymes with complainer not owner. 

Ha ha, you thought I was going to say boner.

One more thing. I just finished an excellent book! "A Quiet Belief in Angels", by R.J. Ellory.  Actually that is probably why I had insomnia last night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's a little morbid but has a happy ending.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Weight Watcher's Menus Week #1

This is a re-run.  How funny that last year I was slimming down for a cruise and now I am slimming
for a trip to Las Vegas. And tonight Auntie M is coming over with her brood and we are having a last hurrah. This time a buffett of junk food. Tommorrow back to health and exercise and adequate sleep.

I am going on a cruise Feburary 14th so starting next week, I need to get serious about diet and exercise.

I will share my menus and recipes with you. It's your choice whether you follow it or not. I will list Weight Watchers points for the majority of food items and when I list a brand name it's not because I am getting paid (because I am not that smart), it's just for your convenience.

New Year's Eve, The Last Hurrah!

I am not listing the points for this meal, I don't want to know.

Breakfast= coffee, a couple of cookies

Lunch=leftover pizza

Dinner=Hamburgers with blue cheese and bbq sauce on sourdough buns.
Onion rings and/or french fries
lettuce and tomato for color

Snack=sparkling wine
popcorn with frozen M&Ms

The Last Weekend of Indulgence

Breakfasts= omelettes with meat, cheese and veggies and toast with a ton of butter.
Lunches= Leftovers and cookies.
Dinners= Leftover fattening foods from freezer, leftover treats, finish off beers.

Detox Monday

Breakfast= Mini wheat bagel with 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese = 4 points

Lunch= soup, 2 cups= 2 points (3 cans of black beans 2 of them drained and 1 undrained, dumped into pot with a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup chicken broth, a pinch of anise seeds(optional), a pinch of dried sage (optional) and salt and pepper to taste, and Tabasco to taste. Simmer and eat with 2 Tbs of Fat Free Sour Cream, good stuff!

Snack choices= hard-boiled egg and a V-8= 2 points, Jolly Green Giant 1 lb. 8 oz. bag cauliflower, broccoli, carrots and cheese (yes the whole bag)=5 points, lettuce with Marie's lite blue cheese dressing 2 Tbs. and a few croutons=2 pts., canned green beans, drained, add a splash of balsamic vinegar and dash of pepper= 0 pts.

Dinner= Teriyaki Turkey Burgers with Pineapple and Lettuce= 6.5 pts.

Oh Fuck, It's Only Tuesday?!

Breakfast= Egg, bacon, veggies. Scramble one egg, with 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms, slice Canadian bacon=3 pts. Scarf this down take kids to school.

Lunch= Soup from yesterday= 2pts.

Snack choices= 5 cups (over 90% Fat Free) microwave popcorn= 1 pt., 1 cup grapes=1 pt., 1 cup baby carrots with 2Tbs. Marie's lite blue cheese dressing=1 pt., small can of V-8 0 pts.,

Dinner= Thai Beef Salad 4 servings= 4 pts. a serving

Hump This, Wednesday!

Breakfast= whole wheat mini bagel 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese

Lunch= Frozen Weight Watchers meal= 5 pts.

Snack choices= 2 slices FF (FF means fat free from now on) Swiss cheese, wrap around 1 oz slice sandwich meat, dip in mustard= 3pts. Shove in face, chug a diet soda = 0 pts., take kids to dance class, try not to burp on everyone.

Dinner= BBQ Chicken Salad = 6 pts.

It's Close Enough to Friday to Start Drinking (don't drink and drive, don't beat your kids)

Breakfast= Creamy Oatmeal= 1 packet plain instant oatmeal stir in 1/2 cup light yogurt= 3 pts. (No sugar! No Butter!)

Lunch= Sushi (I hate Sushi, I am just putting this here for my friends) 4 lrg pieces California roll, 6 small piece tuna roll= 5 pts.

Snack choices= 1 large orange = 1 pt., 1.5 oz. low-fat mozzarella cheese with two tomato slices, splash balsamic vinegar= 3pts.

Dinner= Bacon, Corn and Clam Chowder= 4 pts.
Beer= 3 pts.
Lite beer= 2 pts.

Family Friday
You made it through the work week!!! Don't blow your diet over the weekend, you can do it!

Breakfast= Any choices from above.

Lunch= Garden Veggie Soup= 0 pts. per serving, 4 servings.
Use as many pre-cut, pre-diced veggies as possible; carrot, onion, cabbage,canned green beans, tomato, zucchini. I use one small clove crushed garlic. (you can use more, I have a moderate allergy to garlic so too much is bad, remember that when reading my recipes). 3 cups fat free beef or chicken broth. Dried herbs to taste (basil, oregano etc.) and Salt to taste.
Saute all veggies in non-stick spray for 5 minutes THEN ADD GARLIC, then add broth and spices. Simmer 10 minutes, eat.

Snack Choices=1 medium apple= 1 pt., 1 large banana= 2 pts., breakfast choices from above.

Dinner= Order a large pizza 1/2 veggie. 1 large slice of veggie pizza= 6 pts.,salad with 2 tsp. olive oil and vinegar of choice= 2pts., bowl of zero points soup from lunch=0 pts., beer/wine=3 pts. Total= 11 pts.

Scrounging Saturday (no cook and finish off leftovers)

Breakfast= breakfast choices from week before. Finish off those bagels before they get stale, make a fruit salad before the bananas get brown.

Lunch= Leftovers from dinners and lunches. Pizza from last night, Salad, soups, load up those bagels with veggies, lite sandwich meats and lite cream cheese.

Dinner= Scrambled eggs with the FF Swiss or Cheddar cheese (1 egg white +1 whole egg per person) and tons of veggies. Sprinkle tabasco all over.= 3 pts., Beer= 3 pts., 2 slices wheat toast with tiny bit of butter= 4pts. Total 10 pts.

Starter Sunday (food to fuel your busy next week)

Breakfast= 3/4 cup bran flakes with 1/2 cup FF milk and 1 cup strawberries= 3pts.

Lunch= Make 0 pts. soup so it's ready for your lunches and snacks next week. 1/2 cup cooked whole wheat pasta mixed with 1/4 cup canned in water tuna drained, 1/2 cup chopped celery, 10 small black olives, 1/4 cup shredded FF mozzarella cheese, 1/4 cup white beans, toss with 2 Tbs. FF Italian dressing. All of that is 6 pts. that's alot of food.

Snack Choices= 1 oz baked tortilla chips with 1/2 cup FF salsa (most salsas are FF check label)=2 pts., 1 packet sugar-free fat-free hot cocoa made with 1/2 cup FF milk= 2 pts.

Dinner= Bacon Cheese Turkey Burgers with Special Sauce

Go to bed early. And tomorrow remember to drink more water.