Thursday, June 11, 2009

Out and About


Old pic (heh) of the kids
I'm honored to have been asked to guest blog! For all I know I'm the token lesbian, and if I am, then let me relate some of my experiences/insights as such: Be out to your kids at the earliest possible moment. The younger they are the better. Of course a baby will not appreciate what you're telling them (so much wisdom is wasted on the teething masses), but I can tell you that a seven year old knows enough to just accept it, as long as they understand that your love for them remains unconditional. If you find yourself having to come out to a kid who's already reached puberty, you may have to project yourself into a future scenario where your revelation isn't all about them and you trying to sabotage their life. Say, sometime after college, and possibly graduate school, all of which you help pay for. Love still has to remain unconditional, no matter how petulant or horrid the kid behaves because you've burden THEM with the lesbian mom. Not that you are entirely defenseless in this situation, you can exact minor revenge by passing off expired milk as 'cultured lactic product'.

The point is, if there's one thing that my mother taught me, it's that a mother (ideally every and all) loves her children no matter what. I've employed that philosophy whole heartedly because everyone needs that unshakable foundation of reinforcement, security, and lovingly nurtured well-being to be able to develop a sound sense of themselves in their own minds and out in the world. I suspect that how one ends up viewing the world as a whole is probably rooted in these fundamentals as well. It's what's given me the fortitude to sally forth and be me, raise my sons to be true to themselves, and hopefully we're all the better for it. Especially them. Afterall, I plan on being a burden to them one day. Sitting on the porch in an old rocker, clutching a ratty-eared stuffed bunny, drinking warm beer out of a jelly jar. My grandmother set that standard and I really don't see any reason to break tradition ;)

Have a good weekend away, NEO! Hope I didn't break anything!

8 comments:

bearer of three said...

This is a great read! I dont know too many lesbians myself but I am friend with a male couple who also has a child and they are the greatest parents...

Charlotte said...

Yes Jennifer you are the token lesbian mom and I am damn glad it was you. I agree that was a great read! As I gulp coffee from my Psycho Bitch from HEll mug (my favorite) I was both moved and highly entertained from your post. Your philosophy is solid. And your mother sounds like a ton of fun too.
I am so glad I did this! I leave tommorrow and I almost can't wait to come back and read more!

The Quick's said...

Jennifer - loved your post! Great, great sound advice. I will be sipping warm beer from my rocking chair as well! Thanks for sharing!

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

This was such a fun experience! Glad that I said yes to it :) Thanks to bot, Charlotte, and TQ for the kind words!

drollgirl said...

hey, this is a great post! and i bet you are a SENSATIONAL mom. i just know it.

and i look forward (at least somewhat) to the years of sitting on the porch in a rocker, but i think i'll still want my beer ice cold. :)

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

Droll, I'm an adequate mom. My kids aren't criminals, and they have goals and aspirations that may be a tad outlandish, but they come by that honestly ;)

Unknown Mami said...

Great outlook, great post! Hope you get to be a fantastic old burden.

Barbara said...

Love your advice. Being honest with your kids and showing all different ways of loving is always a great thing, and I can only imagine what sensitive and loving boys you must be raising. Glad to get to "hear" you on Charlotte's blog! :-)