Friday, June 12, 2009

My Uncontrolled Life

First I have to say thank you to Charlotte for picking me to be a “guest” author on her blog, such an honor, especially coming from her. I met Charlotte in the moms club that she blew up even though it wasn't her fault...we got too big...she made me laugh so many times and continues to do so daily.

My name is Meghan and I am over at – check it out when you have time! I am a 27 year old mom of one amazing little guy Jacob (2 in August), wife to 1 husband (thank God, could you imagine having more than 1)??? And expecting a baby GIRL in early October. I work full time for a company as their Controller and have part ownership in the company as well. As I am writing this I am in Arizona for work while trying to manage everyone’s schedules at home and make sure that Jake is being taken care of, since the hubs has to work too of course.

Our little family...

Charlotte asked me to write about my parenting experience – such a good topic! I certainly don’t have much time (almost 2 years) under my belt so I don’t consider myself an expert by any means and probably in 30 years I won’t either! Raising children is something I thought was going to be completely different! I spent many years babysitting as a teenager but let me tell you unless you are those children parents you have NO idea what it is like to be a mom. What a fuckin shock it was to me. The first shock came when we brought our new baby home and he would NOT stop crying, 4pm – 12am CRYING…this was about the same time I took up drinking excessively and met Charlotte! His colic lasted until he was 4 months old – the longest fuckin 4 months of my life. I guess during this time I also took up swearing a lot so hopefully you all aren’t offended, I am shocked that Jake’s first word was not fuck. So already from the beginning being a mom was not was I had expected.

Ok so I realize this wasnt him as a newborn crying but I guess you tend not to take pictures when your newborn is crying!

I am a HUGE control freak and stubborn as hell. I have to have things a certain way and done when I want them done, I don’t procrastinate…as soon as there is something on my to do list it gets done – I love lists but I LOVE completing them even more – it’s my high. When you have a baby you don’t get shit done and you have NO control over anything! They poop, pee, eat, sleep on their schedule and could care less if you are in the shower with soap in your hair and they need to eat. I never knew how needy babies could be and here I was and WTF I am doing it again?!?!

Don’t get me wrong I absolutely LOVE being a mom. Every day I am amazed at how awesome Jacob is and NEVER thought I could love anything or anyone as much as I love him. I tell the hubs that yes unfortunately I love Jacob more but it’s a different kind of love – you guys get that right? I worry excessively about Jacob and his safety and don’t know what I would do if anything ever happened – I would have to be committed and/or shot. I didn’t expect to have these worries before having him but now I see what I probably put my parents thru during my teenage years. How they didn’t give up on me I never understood until I had a child of my own, you reallydo love them unconditionally.

I love waking up to Jacob saying “Mama” over the monitor and how he claps when I walk in to get him in the morning. His kisses and hugs are the sweetest ever and the way he laughs will just melt your heart. When you tell him to smile he closes his eyes and grins (see below)…I fall to my knees laughing at him (my husband can’t even get me to do this). He continues to amaze me every day with what he does and what he says and what he understands, he is so smart! I love watching him grow everyday and really become a little man and not that baby that cried for 4 months straight and drove his mom to drink. I love giving Jake baths because he absolutely loves the water…if I never had to change another diaper again I would be one happy girl but hey it comes with the prize. I would love to eat at a restaurant again without a child throwing food and whining but I wouldn’t give up his voice for a million quiet meals. There are days where he screams and cries and doesn’t listen and fights me with everything he has but I wouldn’t give that up for watching him run and enjoy life so much!

Jake giving MAMA a kiss...

Jake smiling for the camera!

I really think that the way you were raised as a lot to do with how you raise your kids – whether you say you will never raise your kids the way your parents raised you or would love to do it the same way, it has some effect on your own styles…I think. I know that for me I see myself doing many of the things that my mom did for us as kids – loving us a ton (can never have too many kisses), having fun with us, spoiling us (this is my weakness…if Jake likes something he gets it), spending tons of time with us (every free minute I have I want to be with him…most days) and valuing our family. My parents showed me so many of these same things but the most important one is the unconditional love, no matter what I did or how many times I screwed up (and I did a lot) they still loved me (and now they are the most awesome Grammy and Grampy ever, we are sooo blessed). I am the same with Jake now, he can do anything and while I may discipline him it doesn’t change my love for him one ounce! My hubs says that I am the pushover and it is true, he is just too cute to get mad at! The hubs feels differently of course. So I would say that my parenting style is very uncontrolled, very loving and hopefully something that will make a GOOD lasting impression on my son and turn him into an amazing man, husband and father!

Overall I LOVE being a mom. If I lived in a perfect world I wouldn’t have to work full time which would provide me with so much more time and less stress to be with my little man and enjoy every minute without the constant stress of conference calls, work deadlines, etc. Right now it is a lot to juggle working and taking care of Jake and also taking care of all the house stuff (laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, organizing, shopping, paying bills, etc). My entire life I wanted to be a mom and wanted to have a bunch of kids - thats all I wanted to do. Of course when you buy a house it takes a village to pay for it so I had to work but if you ask me what my "dream" job would be it would be being a full time mom ONLY.
I didn’t mention my hubs because honestly he has fallen to the wayside, I don’t have time to even take care of myself half the time (which is why I probably smell from not showering too much). But my hubs, Jason, is a wonderful father and makes Jakey so happy. When Jason sees Jake you see his face light up - its amazing to see the love. I cannot wait until Jake gets older and they can do all the things fathers and sons do together and my girl and I can SHOP!
I don’t know how people juggle everything that they do, I know so many more people juggle so much more then I do and I think I would crawl in a hole if I had anymore to do. How Charlotte juggles being a mom to 3 kids under 4 (or under 5 -what is it now) is absolutely beyond me, I would have been in a crazy home a long time ago. I think some people just have that special gift to mother and Charlotte has that gift – I wish you all could see her with her kids she is brilliant. I know Charlotte likes to drink beer like me and we REALLY enjoy drinking together so maybe that is how she juggles it. Char – we could be onto something here – “Mommy’s need Sippy Cups too…”

Yes this is my own flask, even monogrammed.

Stay tuned for how I handle working full time, being a mom of two and being a wife. Wish me luck folks I will need it or just wish for lots of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in my house (maybe a keg-a-rator for Mothers Day) it works better than luck does.

Thanks for reading my post!


Unknown Mami said...

I really enjoyed your post. Congratulations on making it through the 4 months of colic. You deserve an award.

The Quick's said...

Thank you very much! Appreciate it!

Barbara said...

Meghan, you are awesome! I too am a list-making Type A control freak and you are so right, kids don't care about that at all!!! I am so excited for you to have a girl, too. Hopefully I will be following your lead soon. :-)

Anonymous said...

So nice to have you at Charlotte's blog. A few comments on raising children/being a parent... first thing I want to say is that no 2 are alike and what may have worked for one might not work for another so being a pro never comes.
Second.. your comment on what you put your parents through as a teenager... I can't count the number of times my husband and I have said "maybe they will get it when they have kids of their own". We are still waithing for that part.
Something I did with my last child and wish I did with all of them was to audio record our play sessions. Over twenty years later I still play it back and hear my sweet little girls voice and I fall in love again. And yes, the love for our children is different from any other person on earth. I didn't really know what love felt like till I had a baby.
Thanks again for your blog, I enjoyed reading it.

jennifer from pittsburgh said...

My youngest (age 18) is named Jake too! In the grand tradition of Indiana Jones, he was named for the Norwegian Elkhound we had when I was a kid ;)

Charlotte said...

If you get a kegerator I am moving in with you! I pounded quite a few Sierras for you this weekend.

I loved that post and I still think you are amazing. I could never work and be a parent, I think I would fall apart. I still make lists, because I love them too,but now I have learned to throw them away at the end of the day and start over again in the morning. It's so liberating.

I believe you are such a well-rounded person. Just 10 minutes alone with you it's obvious that your are head-over-heels about Jake but you have never given up your own personality or interests.
Thanks Meghan!

Nekidduk said... crack me up! I love that you totally tell your "hubs" like it is and that he'll never again get to be number 1! The flask cracks me up and I LOVE that picture of Jake in the dinosaur costume. I hope you get to be in that place where you can be at home with your kiddies (plural in honor of the girlie you're growing)!