It's such a dichotomy, I am blushing from shame for admitting this but I am looking over my shoulder for a wrinkled old gypsy lady.
The other day a giant, but stupid, turkey crashed into my backyard fence. During his collision he knocked down my plaque of Athena and broke her into 3 pieces (3 being a magical number). I loved that plaque. It was cool looking, and Athena, being the G-ddess of War, protects cities, homes, property etc. So now there is a hole in the bubble of protection I have around my home.
Trust me, I know that sounds completely goofy! But I can't be alone in these beliefs. I know there are other people reading this blog who have a similar superstition or ritual that gets you through the day. Right?
I really believe Athena works. At our old house I hung her on the fence on the side of the yard where we had a crazy neighbor. I was warned by other neighbors that he has a plate in his head and isn't afraid to call the police and tell them that you have toilet papered his house (even if there is no toilet paper in his yard) or find out where you work and call to tell your employer lies about you. This guy was a huge menace and in the whole 5 years that we lived there he never said so much as boo to us. We move out, I take Athena with me, and I run into some old neighbors a few months later. Turns out that guy is back to his old tricks. So either he had a great 5 years of mental health which ended when we moved away, or Athena kept us safe from him. But since I will never really know now I am committed to hanging her in my yard again.
Athena isn't our only source of protection. I have an angel in the front yard, and a mezuzah at our door.
In the backyard I had Athena and a totem pole. I guess he really isn't a totem pole because he came from Brazil and it's just one angry gorilla. But one of my husband's friends gave it to us as a wedding present (even though I don't remember registering for a wood carving of an angry gorilla) and I immediately thought he would look good outside, only outside. Now I think he looks menacing enough to keep bad mojo out of that corner of the yard.
But Mr. Angry Gorilla is working by himself now that Athena is gone and my anxiety is climbing sky high. So I started looking online for a replacement for Athena. She was a gift and I have no contact with that person anymore so I have no idea where he got Athena. And I can't find anything like her anywhere. I started to look at this great website named Design Toscano and found some really nice garden art. This angel below is adorable but my husband is barely tolerating the angel in the front yard and would definitely not tolerate much more figurines anywhere.
I found a lot of nice stuff on that site but no Athena. So then I just started to look at the ugly stuff. Look at this guy! I would have to put a fake pile of poop at his feet because to me it looks like he is having some issues with irritable bowel.
Forget my husband, I am pretty sure my homeowner's association would have something to say about this angel in my front yard.
It's true, I am Jewish, but to my Christian friends out there, would you put this in your yard?
This shark made me laugh but he is 8 ft. long and was priced at $750!! Who would buy that?
I am afraid this sheep would attract the wrong element if you know what I mean.
Outside of a theme park, why would you buy a brontosaurus?
I am sorry but that's just ugly.
Ok so this Yeti, or Bigfoot, tickled me so much I actually made it my profile picture on Facebook for a few days. You have way too much money if you are putting statues of Bigfoot in your yard! I couldn't even afford the shipping on this thing.