Friday, December 26, 2008

The Last Word on History-Disclaimers Are Good In The Land Of Lawsuits

I am an over-explainer, like most women, so that's why I am going on and on about why I started this blog for not easily offended moms. Otherwise known as N.E.O.Moms.

For somebody just tuning in; I am a nice person with a big mouth that got me into trouble and I was kicked off the Yahoo! groups of a mom's club and then I eventually quit the whole club because some women could seriously not get over it! They were calling each other and crying and reading my other blog and calling their friends and telling them to read it and then crying some more and sending me bitchy emails. Wow! It was like being a hermaphrodite in 8th grade gym class, or something similar.

So I quit the club thinking that if you take the fuel out of the fire it would die, right? Wrong. So below is a disclaimer I had to put on my other blog telling women to stop reading my blog and thinking it's about them. And actually it's a pretty good disclaimer for any blog, including N.E.O. Moms, so keep that in mind when you read it. Of course if you have gotten this far you are probably not one of those stick up your ass kind of chicks who needs disclaimers.

November 1st 2008

Last night I had a dream that I was in bookstore and found one of my old journals on a bookshelf. It doesn't take Freud to figure what that meant. My blog is my online journal that I let people look at. And even though this is my intellectual property if I put the names of real people in here I have to take responsibility for that.

A few times this week I have been asked to change some stuff on my blog. The first person to do so is a beloved friend. A rational, loving, kind and well-balanced person that I would take a bullet for with no hesitation. So I dropped everything I was doing and complied with her request.

Another person, quite unlike the person described above, also asked me to do so. No.

I have also received a thinly veiled threat of a lawsuit.

I know, I know. You are thinking "What?! Really?! Are you shitting me?!" No I am not. Even though this blog was originally started as a creative outlet for me some people actually enjoy reading it. I am very flattered by that. But there are also some people who enjoy reading it so they can cause drama and strife.

Some moms have started to read it because it's becoming a little bit like Jerry Springer and they think it's funny, I am ok with that too. I slow down on the freeway to look at car wrecks too. But some people are reading it because they are the type of people who like to pick scabs and then get upset when they bleed.

So today instead of sweating off Halloween candy on the treadmill I am going through my entire blog and removing names. I am using my gym's free WiFi and day care because I am paranoid enough to believe this thinly veiled threat.

I am very angry about this. After today if you read a description of a person and you think it's about you, it's not. I know the old saying is if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck and looks like a duck then it must be a duck. When it comes to my blog that saying does not apply. If I don't name it duck, then it's not a duck, it's a unicorn.

Even if you swear up and down the person I am describing is you, it's not. Even if you really want it to be you, it's not. Even if anywhere I go or groups I belong to sound familiar, they are not. It's a coincidence or a complete fabrication. This blog now exists in a identical twin parallel universe. And my universe is better than your's and crazy, psycho, drama queens are not welcome.

Lawyers aren't welcome either. Unless I was already friends with them before today.

But if you are angry and just really, really have to say something to me about it. Don't email me, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog. That way everyone can share my joy. Save the drama for your mama and vote for Obama. That came from a friend but I can't put her name here anymore.

Remember it's all about me, not you!!!!!!

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