Monday, April 4, 2011

Selling a house with 3 kids under the age of 3

Below is something I wrote a long time ago before I had a blog.  It was an email describing a horrific day I had while trying to sell a house with 3 kids under the age of 3 all in diapers. I wouldn't wish that process on my worst enemy.

Hey Everyone,

This might be long sorry. Today was really crazy. Last week we had an inspection report on our house and they found a leak under our kitchen. So today we get a plumber and he finds, gray water and food debris and some fungus. So now they need a clean-up crew to clean up under the house before they can fix the leak and a general contractor to come out and rip up some cabinets and maybe even some kitchen floor.

Here is the clincher to make sure the fungus doesn't spread we need to turn off our a.c. and cover all of the vents and this is all going to take about 5 days. And the guy said that it's not good for small children or the elderly to breathe so we need to leave!!!! So I had to pack up all my monkeys and ship out. Erik came home from work to feed the kids so I could pack everything. I called Sierra Suites and ask them if they have corporate rates for local businesses and since Erik sees paitients at San Ramon Regional I get a $100. knocked off the room rate.

As soon as Erik leaves both Michael and Bekah poo. So I changed them and load everyone in their carseats and blast the van a.c. and gas the light goes on empty. Luckily there is a gas station right next to the hotel. After I fill up I pull right up to the lobby doors and unload and usher all 3 inside the lobby. Three twenty-somethings are loafing behind the counter and tell me the room will be ready in 15 min. Of course Michael and Bekah are starting to explore the whole lobby. Luckily they had a t.v. in the lobby so I turned on cartoons. Jake starts to get mad so now I have to whip out my boob in the lobby and feed him. And then Bekah poos again!

Finally our room is ready. As I am gettting my room key/card Bekah sprints out the door towards parking lot, so I sprint after her. Michael says, "That's funny!" and is cracking up. I yell," That is not funny!", as I drag poopy Bekah back in. The staff behind the counter are trying not to laugh. They give me a room on the second floor as far from the elevator as possible but the girl offers to help once I bring my van around back. So I load them all up again and drive to back door and unload a diaper bag, duffel bag, suitcase, porta crib, my boppy, Jacob in his portable car seat and 1 hyper toddler and 1 poopy toddler who is an hour past her naptime.

I get a luggage cart, load everything but the kids and push that with one hand, while holding Jake with the other hand and screaming at Mike and Bekah to get on the elevator. No staff showed up to help and I couldn't abandon the kids to go get them. When we got to the second floor the nicest guy in the world pushed the cart for me while I herded the monkeys to our room. The guy has a 4.5 month old and informed me they are only having one kid. He probably made that decision right then. When we get to the room I am dripping sweat. I turn on the t.v. for Mike and change Bekah who now has poop soaked shorts, gross! In the worst case of passive-aggressivness I walked all the way back to the elevator and disposed of the diaper in the garbage can for everyone to enjoy.

They did provide a crib so I actually put Bekah in there attempting nap.........that didn't work. But it gave me time to set up the other porta crib and send out some emails and make some phone calls. In that 45 minutes I realized this room even though it has a kitchenette and a seperate bedroom is way too small and is not going to work for 5 nights!! So I load up kids again and take them to P3 Party Place. They love it there so I get no problems from Mike and Bekah. Right next door is the Residence Inn so I go in there and give them my sob story and turns out they have a 2 bedroom place, with free bfast and a pool for only $10 more than the place I am at now! So I signed us up for that for Friday night. Now that I am a little calmer I also remember that my SIL is going camping Sat. morning. So I call her and hook up her house for Sat. and Sun. night. We will figure out Monday when we get there. I go home for some stuff I forgot and to the grocery store for some basic provisions like beer and ice cream.

I go back and get kids and come back to hotel. Repeat process from before but now with groceries. This time another gentleman holds doors for me and the elevator. Mike gets in and pushes all buttons and the man says it's a good thing there isn't 20 floors! Back in the room the kids smear mac and cheese and ice cream everywhere and now the carpet in here looks like my kitchen floor. We did our usual bedtime routine to make life as calm as possible but Mike and Bekah still cried for 30 minutes before passing out. When they finally fell asleep we could put Jake in there with them and now Erik and I are out here in the "living room" watching football and drinking beer. Michael gets this huge cozy king bed to himself and Erik and I get a sofa bed. But I didn't want Mike sleeping out here with a stove! I would rather have him flush things down the toilet than set things on fire.

Wish me luck,


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