Fat Bitch, Skinny Bitch

I have been both, so I can say fat bitch, skinny bitch, with authority. I was pushing 2 bills when I was pregnant with Michael. I tipped the scales at 197 pounds and then my water broke. So post-partum I was easily a size 16-18.

Those extra rolls certainly didn't stop my husband from impregnating me with 2 more kids. That's what freaks me out about our society's obsessiveness with being thin. Straight men don't like super skinny women! So the only reason women are starving themselves are for other women.

Leafing through a magazine in a waiting room I came across a pictorial of an overly skinny girl in a bikini. I thought for sure the captions were going to read about how this young woman continues to struggle with eating disorders. No, she was actually a bikini model. I was repulsed and once I got into the doctor's office I shoved that magazine into the Bio-Hazard bucket where it belongs.

Along with most women my age I struggle with my weight, and it wasn't until my Dad survived a major heart attack that I realized I have to get serious about healthy eating. Once I made weight loss about health, and not beauty, it became so much easier to keep it off. And if some weight creeps back onto my belly, I don't become stressed out and depressed about it. I am almost 5 ft. 6 inches tall and I am not petite. I have hips, wide shoulders, wrists, ankles and my hands are almost as big as my husband's. So I know that to be 125 pounds would be a completely ridiculous weight goal for me. My healthy weight is between 140-145 pounds. I could weigh less but my quality of life would suffer, I like food, I just want to be healthy, not a model.

And like I mentioned before, straight men, and normal women aren't attracted to super skinny women. I have had a lot of platonic and not so platonic guy friends in my life and I can say with confidence that the picture below is probably near perfection for most men. (Assume I am talking about straight men). That's Scarlett Johannsen by the way, so you don't have to be anorexic to be a super star. I love this picture. She has a tiny bit of meat on her tummy, some healthy hips, thighs, her arms aren't scrawny and just like most women I know; her breasts aren't even the same shape/size.

I know a lot of men who would much rather rub sunscreen on Scarlet above instead of this stick in the picture below.

This girl looks like she would be a lot of fun to have a beer with, or go to the gym with, or go skiing/camping/hiking.

This chick would probably run out of breath doing anything physical and barfs after 2 martinis.

I want my swim suit models to fill out their swim suits. Good ole Claudia Schiffer, she was no toothpick.

Ewww, she is not wearing a bikini but 2 rubber bands. I want to force feed her a cheeseburger.

This chick might have a hard time finding jeans for her luscious booty, but I would rather go shopping and have lunch with her than some non-eating size zero.

Nobody would dare call this woman fat. Can you imagine?

So here is where my authority on thinness comes from. Yep that's me. I am way too skinny in that picture. I wasn't eating healthy enough and cared way too much about what I looked like. Now before some of you get your panties in a bunch about how dare I post a half naked picture of myself on the internet. Don't I respect my kids and family blah blah blad. Yes I do. I have a daughter now and I want her to know that I am happier with my body now after having 3 kids than I was in that picture at age 22. And if I wore that same outfit and posed like that again you would not recognize those 2 bodies in a line-up. But I am more attractive now because I am smarter and got my shit way more together. And that is way sexier than being able to see my hip bone.

I would rather have a beer with this chick.