Pure Randomness

I forgot how evil sleep deprivation is. I had insomnia last night, and for no good reason at all. And then just as I fell asleep I had a visitor, and then I fell asleep and got another visitor. To new parents let me tell you something; just when you get your bedtimes perfect, your child will reach a new milestone, and their bedtimes go to Hell.

We have "potty-trained" our youngest, hence the new milestone, and tons more laundry. And washing a urine soaked Britax Marathon car seat......why it's just delightful. And I know because I have done it before. Just when you think it's safe to remove the beach towel, it's not.

So today I am tired and I have been running late all day and forgot one kid's lunch and had to hand-deliver another child's lunch after school started. Don't worry my oldest never eats his lunch anyways, I just pack him one so I look good.

I showed up late to a play-group this morning at a person's house I have just met. She has 2 boys, but when I walked in I saw a snow-globe on a side table. My heart leaped into my throat and I started to pray that my 3 year old didn't see it.  Phew! He immediately became obsessed with the ceiling fans instead. I used to own decorative holiday snow globes too. But my 2 boys look at a globe and think, "Hey, a ball!".  Shattered snow globes are not decorative. And they are a bitch to clean up.

At my oldest son's elementary school they are going to have a multi-cultural fair.  Families are to set-up booths representing their culture. I have been amusing myself all morning thinking how awesome it would be to have a White Trash booth. I could shape the booth like a trailer and wear cut-off shorts and nylons and serve Twinkies, Spam and Wine from a box. But that wouldn't be appropriate.

Original Lyrics By Michael

Michael: "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled poopers.".

Me: "That's not it."

Michael: "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a pistol in a pear tree.".

Me: "Please, do not sing that at school.".

Everyone is giving John Boehner a hard time for crying. Before I became a mother, I believed men should only cry when they are present at a birth, death or on mushrooms. Now I am trying to be more compassionate and fair. It's hard. I look at my kids' lives and can't imagine why they would be crying, except if they are in physical pain. I practice empathy daily. And as for John Boehner, you have to give credit to a guy who has convinced America that his last name rhymes with complainer not owner. 

Ha ha, you thought I was going to say boner.

One more thing. I just finished an excellent book! "A Quiet Belief in Angels", by R.J. Ellory.  Actually that is probably why I had insomnia last night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's a little morbid but has a happy ending.

Weight Watcher's Menus Week #1

This is a re-run.  How funny that last year I was slimming down for a cruise and now I am slimming
for a trip to Las Vegas. And tonight Auntie M is coming over with her brood and we are having a last hurrah. This time a buffett of junk food. Tommorrow back to health and exercise and adequate sleep.



I am going on a cruise Feburary 14th so starting next week, I need to get serious about diet and exercise.

I will share my menus and recipes with you. It's your choice whether you follow it or not. I will list Weight Watchers points for the majority of food items and when I list a brand name it's not because I am getting paid (because I am not that smart), it's just for your convenience.

New Year's Eve, The Last Hurrah!

I am not listing the points for this meal, I don't want to know.

Breakfast= coffee, a couple of cookies

Lunch=leftover pizza

Dinner=Hamburgers with blue cheese and bbq sauce on sourdough buns.
Onion rings and/or french fries
lettuce and tomato for color
beers

Snack=sparkling wine
popcorn with frozen M&Ms

The Last Weekend of Indulgence

Breakfasts= omelettes with meat, cheese and veggies and toast with a ton of butter.
Lunches= Leftovers and cookies.
Dinners= Leftover fattening foods from freezer, leftover treats, finish off beers.

Detox Monday

Breakfast= Mini wheat bagel with 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese = 4 points

Lunch= soup, 2 cups= 2 points (3 cans of black beans 2 of them drained and 1 undrained, dumped into pot with a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup chicken broth, a pinch of anise seeds(optional), a pinch of dried sage (optional) and salt and pepper to taste, and Tabasco to taste. Simmer and eat with 2 Tbs of Fat Free Sour Cream, good stuff!

Snack choices= hard-boiled egg and a V-8= 2 points, Jolly Green Giant 1 lb. 8 oz. bag cauliflower, broccoli, carrots and cheese (yes the whole bag)=5 points, lettuce with Marie's lite blue cheese dressing 2 Tbs. and a few croutons=2 pts., canned green beans, drained, add a splash of balsamic vinegar and dash of pepper= 0 pts.

Dinner= Teriyaki Turkey Burgers with Pineapple and Lettuce= 6.5 pts.

Oh Fuck, It's Only Tuesday?!

Breakfast= Egg, bacon, veggies. Scramble one egg, with 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms, slice Canadian bacon=3 pts. Scarf this down take kids to school.

Lunch= Soup from yesterday= 2pts.

Snack choices= 5 cups (over 90% Fat Free) microwave popcorn= 1 pt., 1 cup grapes=1 pt., 1 cup baby carrots with 2Tbs. Marie's lite blue cheese dressing=1 pt., small can of V-8 0 pts.,

Dinner= Thai Beef Salad 4 servings= 4 pts. a serving

Hump This, Wednesday!

Breakfast= whole wheat mini bagel 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese

Lunch= Frozen Weight Watchers meal= 5 pts.

Snack choices= 2 slices FF (FF means fat free from now on) Swiss cheese, wrap around 1 oz slice sandwich meat, dip in mustard= 3pts. Shove in face, chug a diet soda = 0 pts., take kids to dance class, try not to burp on everyone.

Dinner= BBQ Chicken Salad = 6 pts.

It's Close Enough to Friday to Start Drinking (don't drink and drive, don't beat your kids)

Breakfast= Creamy Oatmeal= 1 packet plain instant oatmeal stir in 1/2 cup light yogurt= 3 pts. (No sugar! No Butter!)

Lunch= Sushi (I hate Sushi, I am just putting this here for my friends) 4 lrg pieces California roll, 6 small piece tuna roll= 5 pts.

Snack choices= 1 large orange = 1 pt., 1.5 oz. low-fat mozzarella cheese with two tomato slices, splash balsamic vinegar= 3pts.


Dinner= Bacon, Corn and Clam Chowder= 4 pts.
Beer= 3 pts.
Lite beer= 2 pts.

Family Friday
You made it through the work week!!! Don't blow your diet over the weekend, you can do it!

Breakfast= Any choices from above.

Lunch= Garden Veggie Soup= 0 pts. per serving, 4 servings.
Use as many pre-cut, pre-diced veggies as possible; carrot, onion, cabbage,canned green beans, tomato, zucchini. I use one small clove crushed garlic. (you can use more, I have a moderate allergy to garlic so too much is bad, remember that when reading my recipes). 3 cups fat free beef or chicken broth. Dried herbs to taste (basil, oregano etc.) and Salt to taste.
Saute all veggies in non-stick spray for 5 minutes THEN ADD GARLIC, then add broth and spices. Simmer 10 minutes, eat.

Snack Choices=1 medium apple= 1 pt., 1 large banana= 2 pts., breakfast choices from above.

Dinner= Order a large pizza 1/2 veggie. 1 large slice of veggie pizza= 6 pts.,salad with 2 tsp. olive oil and vinegar of choice= 2pts., bowl of zero points soup from lunch=0 pts., beer/wine=3 pts. Total= 11 pts.

Scrounging Saturday (no cook and finish off leftovers)

Breakfast= breakfast choices from week before. Finish off those bagels before they get stale, make a fruit salad before the bananas get brown.

Lunch= Leftovers from dinners and lunches. Pizza from last night, Salad, soups, load up those bagels with veggies, lite sandwich meats and lite cream cheese.

Dinner= Scrambled eggs with the FF Swiss or Cheddar cheese (1 egg white +1 whole egg per person) and tons of veggies. Sprinkle tabasco all over.= 3 pts., Beer= 3 pts., 2 slices wheat toast with tiny bit of butter= 4pts. Total 10 pts.

Starter Sunday (food to fuel your busy next week)


Breakfast= 3/4 cup bran flakes with 1/2 cup FF milk and 1 cup strawberries= 3pts.

Lunch= Make 0 pts. soup so it's ready for your lunches and snacks next week. 1/2 cup cooked whole wheat pasta mixed with 1/4 cup canned in water tuna drained, 1/2 cup chopped celery, 10 small black olives, 1/4 cup shredded FF mozzarella cheese, 1/4 cup white beans, toss with 2 Tbs. FF Italian dressing. All of that is 6 pts. that's alot of food.

Snack Choices= 1 oz baked tortilla chips with 1/2 cup FF salsa (most salsas are FF check label)=2 pts., 1 packet sugar-free fat-free hot cocoa made with 1/2 cup FF milk= 2 pts.

Dinner= Bacon Cheese Turkey Burgers with Special Sauce

Go to bed early. And tomorrow remember to drink more water.

Former Party Girls turned Moms are the only ones allowed to read this.

When I first had kids I joined a mom's club. The next best thing after playgroup was MNO (Mom's Night Out). But some of us interpret that differently. I would leave, "Goodnight ladies", and then I would get a six-pack and drive to Las Trampas.  I would put my feet up, sip some brew and watch the owls hunt. Then I would go home, pump and dump, and pass out. If I didn't do that, then I would take my husband's Mercedes and drive 130 mph from San Ramon to Fremont and back again, with the sun-roof open and blasting The Stones.

We traded the Mercedes in for a Honda and we both turned 40. Yuck. I had a MNO this evening and the most rebellion I could scrounge up was a trip to the local watering hole (after the mom's visit was over). The scene was ridiculous, I drank half a beer and bailed.

Is this it? 

I Support Violence Against Children

Of course I do not support violence against children. Sigh. But if you haven't been on Facebook yet today let me tell you what's going on. There is currently a campaign on Facebook right now encouraging people to change their profile pictures to a favorite cartoon character to make a stand against child abuse. Below is the status update explaining this phenomenon.



"Change your FB profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal? To


not see a single human face on FB until Monday, December 6th. Join the

fight against child abuse; copy & paste and invite your friends to

do the same."


Let me tell you why I am refusing to do this, even though the majority of my friends and family are participating in this event. I do not want to equate the cartoons of my childhood with child abuse. It disturbs me.

"The Goal? To not see a single human face.....". That is a horrible goal! Humans commit the crime of child abuse, not fictional cartoon characters.

Want to make a stand against child abuse? Put a human face on it.  Not a victim's face, an offender's face.

 I am not really suggesting anyone do this, but I believe it would be way more appropriate to change your profile picture to the picture of a child abuser. Maybe a picture of your own abuser. The majority of crimes against children are done by a family member or "friend". 

 It's a very real possibility that a lot of Facebook members have a picture of their offender.  Do you want to equate that person with your favorite cartoon character?  Do you want one of your friends to look at your profile picture of a cartoon and be invaded by unpleasant memories?

You can't control how another person feels or perceives, I realize that.  I know that everyone who is participating in this has only the best intentions in their heart.  Otherwise you wouldn't be my Facebook friend, right?  I am just telling you that I feel, strongly, that refusing to participate in this particular campaign will be more effective in the long run.

What did I do today to prevent child abuse? I kept myself healthy, I talked and listened to my kids, and I took time to check in with their teachers. Think globally, but start locally.

 This time of the year is supposed to be gleeful and joyous. But it can be stressful, demanding, depressing and very disappointing. Do you want to avoid child abuse? Give yourself, or a parent you know a break.

Below are some websites from people who work hard everyday to prevent child abuse and take care of victims.

Stop it Now!

First 5 California

Child Abuse Prevention Council

Child Abuse Prevention Association

 
 
I promise the next thing I write will be funny.