Stupid Assholes

Do you ever get really frustrated with your atypical child?  Most of the time you are patient, but sometimes you wish for a kid who doesn't think outside of the box.  Can't they just be a jock/cheerleader kid and not a blue-spiky-haired kid?


You draw a deep breath and look away only to see another parent look at your child with a disdainful look.  WTF?  Whoa Nellie!  I can be irritated with my child but you need to be grateful to be breathing the same oxygen as my kid!!


And 20 years from now when your kid turns over their paycheck to you for rent money you will see my kids signature on the bottom. 


That is all.

Bad Genes

I have sat on my ass, wasting time for 2 hours this morning! I kept my sweet 4 year old home from school for one more day to make sure she is 100% healthy, and she is entertaining herself. I could have done a lot of stuff in 2 hours instead of watching Max and Ruby with her, and screwing around on the Internet. But I am really, really anxious.

My dear, sweet, responsible husband, and I, have an appointment with a developmental pediatrician today. We are seeing her to come up with a plan of action in regards to our 5 year old's atrocious school behavior. And I feel like I am in trouble. I feel like I am being called to the Principal's office. And trust me I know exactly what that feels like.

I know because in first grade I got sent to the Principal's office for running away from school (and conning a friend to join me) because the teacher made me write lines. The lines were, "I will be quiet in class". Instead I wrote, "I will not shut-up in class" and then at recess me and Heather snuck off when the yard duty wasn't looking. It was really bad because they thought we had been kidnapped. That is the one and only time I have actually seen a person's face turn purple. The principal was a substitutePrincipal and he was sooo mad. As an adult I realize now what I put everyone through.

In the second grade I got sent to the Principal's office for refusing to pledge allegiance to the flag because of the phrase "under G-d". There is supposed to be a separation of church and state in America. I am still right on that one. I love G-d, and our flag, and I get goosebumps when I hear our anthem sung. I just get a bad feeling when we combine patriotism and religion. My mom was really embarrassed.

In the third grade they started the state testing (here in California) that our kids are tortured with now. And it was a big deal, just as it is now. When it came to gender, mark male or female, I made my own bubble, wrote the word "Other" next to it and filled it in. In my defense that wasn't my idea. Another girl dared me to do it, and I just can't resist a dare. Holy Crap that principal was mad. But he didn't call my mom. I came home and told my mom as a preemptive strike, and she laughed, and said, "I am so glad he didn't' call me and tell me that over the phone because I would have just laughed.". Phew, what a relief.

Remember in grade school when they would make you chew those red tablets that would stain the plaque on your teeth, to show you where you weren't not brushing adequately? I refused to do that. My reasoning being that my parents tax money could be better spent on academics, instead of wasting time picking up other parents slack when it comes to their children's poor dental hygiene. That teacher lasted one year at that school. That was 4th grade.

I could go on and on and on. But I need to shower and find an outfit that makes me look like a concerned parent. The point I am trying to make by sharing these anecdotes is I know exactly where my oldest child's behavior comes from. But if you ask me I just say, "He's exactly like my brother Bill.".

Sorry Mom.