KGO-The Loss of a Local Landmark

On December 1st 2011 the bay area lost a landmark. Every body's favorite news talk radio station completely disemboweled themselves and fired the majority of their popular talk-show hosts.  With no warning at all. No warning to their staff and no warning to their loyal listeners.  This blog post by a media insider explains it best. 


I realize I just lost some readers who cannot understand why I would write about something so silly as a radio station changing their format, but this station was over 30 years old.  I am 41 years old, as of today, and I have been listening to this station since I was a child. It has been a constant, just like watching Saturday Night Live or The Simpsons. You tune in and they are there, always. KGO was a landmark of the bay area. 


KGO fired all of their talent and now just do news 24/7, with the exception of their 9a-Noon program, which I will discuss later. (grumble, grumble). The bay area is a diverse, even eclectic micro-climate of micro-climates. You can visit the beach and then some snow, in one day, if there is a light dusting on our bay area mountain peaks. You can witness the Tea Party of Contra Costa County and visit a Nuclear Free Zone in Berkeley, all in one day.  The former KGO was a perfect example of this diversity. You may not like every host, agree with every host, but they were real people with real opinions and they were all the best of the industry. And now they are gone. The station is now generic news. Generic does not represent anything about the bay area. 


But wait, not all of their talk show hosts are gone! We still have Ronn Owens from 9am-Noon. Who is currently on vacation for two weeks so don't bother tuning in to him yet.  On the first day of this format he pleaded with his listeners to give the new format a chance and he said he would set aside some time for people to call in and discuss this drastic change. Uhm, 20 minutes of call in time. Over 30 years of content and we get 20 minutes of grieving time. I have always been a huge fan of Ronn Owen's until Friday December 2nd.  His "concern" was so insincere, so contrived. When a caller started to bemoan the loss of all those talented hosts Ronn Owens actually said, "You still have me.". He just doesn't get it. KGO is not just Ronn Owens, it was a total package. 


Now the package has been ripped to shreds and will soon completely disintegrate. I am not being overly dramatic, in the wake of this horrible business move made by Cumulus quite a few Facebook and twitter accounts have sprung anew lamenting the loss of our local talent. We are peons next to this corporate giant but our pleas are not futile.  Some sponsors have already suspended their accounts;
        Thank you so much for writing and I guess taking a look at the Gene
Burns/KGO page on our website. We are just as shocked as you and just as
upset. I am the advertising agency for both Just Remnants and Burgermeister.
All advertising on KGO for both clients was suspended at 9:00 am this
morning.

I was one of the first advertisers to recognize the genius of Gene Burns
some 16 years ago.
I am heartbroken after a 37 year relationship with KGO and a 50 + year
relationship with Mickey Luckoff and a 16 year personal relationship with
Gene.

Jerry

And angry loyal fans are pressuring other advertisers to do the same. 

KGO will never be the same but if they work hard to hire back their dearly missed hosts, and go back to the format we loved, we may just be able to forgive them.

The 10 Rules For Being a N.E.O. Mom

1. NEO Moms promote a positive body image to their children.

2. NEO Moms get along with their parenting partner most of the time.

3. NEO Moms support a person's right to choose.

4. NEO Moms are patriotic.

5. NEO Moms like to party, laugh and just generally have a good time.

6. NEO Moms support, protect, and nurture their children.

7. NEO Moms expect their children to behave most of the time, especially in public.

8. NEO Moms take care of themselves.

9. NEO Moms have common sense priorities.

10. NEO Moms don't always follow the rules.


Ok so now I need to add some explanation to these rules.

1. Don't worry I don't expect you to feed your kids tofu and sprouts and make them do Yoga. What I mean by promoting a positive body image is don't be anorexic or obese. That's all. And I feel that I can speak with some authority on this issue because I have been both a size 16 and now I am somewhere between a 4 and a 6. But we all know women's clothing sizes are a scam so in reality I probably used to be a size 20 and now I am a size 8.

So what I am saying is that you just have to be as healthy as you can be for your kid's sake. Because if I didn't have kids I would be eating whatever I wanted and swilling alcohol and who knows what else. But now that I have 3 dependents I have to eat stuff like salad and get all gross and sweaty exercising. It's very important that I watch all 3 of them graduate college and of course my daughter will need me to take over all of her wedding planning.


2. I chose the term parenting partner because not all of us have a legal spouse. You may have a boyfriend or a lesbian lover or be single. I really don't care but my point was that you need to get along with them most of the time especially in front of your children. Domestic abuse is not cool.


3. Choice is important to me and to pretty much any mother who doesn't get offended easily. And I have a wide definition for rule #3. So I may lose some women with this, but I am including a woman's right to choose to terminate a pregnancy as a valid and respected choice.

I won't stop there though, a NEO Mom also respects a woman's right to breast-feed or not, to work or stay-at-home with the kids, to pierce their daughter's earrings or to circumcise their sons. It's really none of your damn business what other moms do if it is not hurting their child or your's. And real moms know this. A not easily offended mother knows that with every decision a mother makes, there are wakeful nights, and long discussions, and reading through baby books. It's never easy.

4. Ok so some of my friends are like WTF?! Yes that's right I am unapologetically patriotic and I think this is a very good rule. I get goose bumps and teary-eyed every time I hear the National Anthem. I love this country and it's people and it's founding prinicples. A lot of people think America sucks right now but it's our govt. that sucks not our people. So does patriotic mean you have to fly the flag in front of your house to be a NEO Mom? No, look at rule #3. Does this mean you can't burn the flag if you get pissed off? No, look at rule #3. Actually I think to deny somebody the right to burn the flag is very Un-American. But if you burn my flag I think you are an asshole. Of course I will fight for your right to be an asshole because that is the American Way.


5. So don't worry that you can't be a NEO Mom if you are in recovery. If I said you had to drink booze to be a cool mom then I would be like that jock in high school trying to get into your panties. No you don't have to drink, or whatever, but you do need to like at least cake or ice cream or chocolate and ,you realize life is way too short to not be able to laugh at least once a day.

6. This is kind of a no-brainer isn't it? Does this mean you can never yell at your kids or make mistakes? Shit I hope not! You just have to take a deep breath once in awhile and realize that you are all they have. You are mommy, the all powerful, and it is your job to protect, defend and nurture their little souls.


7. An adult woman is not afraid of a child. Even if that child is a criminally insane 3 year old. A competent mother expects their child to behave especially in public. But a NEO Mom expects only age appropriate behavior from their children. What I mean is that you can't take a 2 year old to a fancy restaurant and expect them to maintain, it's just not fair to all involved. Now if you are at a family pizza parlor, they are most likely going to be loud and squirmy but they still have to sit and eat some of their food and not throw most of it on the floor. I think that is reasonable.

I was at such an establishment recently and my 20 month old was boisterous and it was fine with me, he was eating his food and sitting for along time. This place has an arcade and a bar and is very loud and this one old man was actually giving my son dirty looks! Are you insane? This was not the place you take a date! So he was not a NEO Mom, he had no clue as to what a child's limits are. My 4 year old on the other hand was forced to sit and eat before he could play any arcade games, and he was ready to go out of his mind until I gave him the stink eye and that was it.


8. Sleep deprivation, stress, hormones, hunger. Those are 4 letter words when you are a mom. I know it's not always possible to take a nap but you have to eat, you have to breathe or you will lose it. I love those magazines that tell you to get a sitter and go get a massage.............well duh if we could we would right? How about locking yourself in the bathroom with a book and a glass of wine/beer? If you have toddlers like I do you know they are not going to get hurt because they will be on the other side of the door trying to get in. I just sit on the toilet and stare at their fingers as they slip them under the door and cry mommy. But for the safety of all I need a few minutes before I can open that door again.

9. This is another no-brainer. If you want a new pair of shoes and your kid is hungry..........the shoes can wait. Here is another analogy, what is more important dirty dishes or getting a 30 minute nap while you can? The nap wins everytime. You don't want to be yelling at your kids all of the time and seriously you will have tons of time to do dishes when they are in college. I live in a part of the country that has ants. This is what I do if I need sleep and I have dirty dishes. Pile them in the sink and then take dish soap and squirt it all the way around your sink, the ants will get lodged in the soap and die while you nap and then you can just wipe them up. Don't act all stuck-up and think I am gross, you know you are going to do it.

10. It's true, rules are for shitheads. These are more like guidelines or something amusing to read during the kids' naps.

Pure Randomness

I forgot how evil sleep deprivation is. I had insomnia last night, and for no good reason at all. And then just as I fell asleep I had a visitor, and then I fell asleep and got another visitor. To new parents let me tell you something; just when you get your bedtimes perfect, your child will reach a new milestone, and their bedtimes go to Hell.

We have "potty-trained" our youngest, hence the new milestone, and tons more laundry. And washing a urine soaked Britax Marathon car seat......why it's just delightful. And I know because I have done it before. Just when you think it's safe to remove the beach towel, it's not.

So today I am tired and I have been running late all day and forgot one kid's lunch and had to hand-deliver another child's lunch after school started. Don't worry my oldest never eats his lunch anyways, I just pack him one so I look good.

I showed up late to a play-group this morning at a person's house I have just met. She has 2 boys, but when I walked in I saw a snow-globe on a side table. My heart leaped into my throat and I started to pray that my 3 year old didn't see it.  Phew! He immediately became obsessed with the ceiling fans instead. I used to own decorative holiday snow globes too. But my 2 boys look at a globe and think, "Hey, a ball!".  Shattered snow globes are not decorative. And they are a bitch to clean up.

At my oldest son's elementary school they are going to have a multi-cultural fair.  Families are to set-up booths representing their culture. I have been amusing myself all morning thinking how awesome it would be to have a White Trash booth. I could shape the booth like a trailer and wear cut-off shorts and nylons and serve Twinkies, Spam and Wine from a box. But that wouldn't be appropriate.

Original Lyrics By Michael

Michael: "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled poopers.".

Me: "That's not it."

Michael: "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a pistol in a pear tree.".

Me: "Please, do not sing that at school.".

Everyone is giving John Boehner a hard time for crying. Before I became a mother, I believed men should only cry when they are present at a birth, death or on mushrooms. Now I am trying to be more compassionate and fair. It's hard. I look at my kids' lives and can't imagine why they would be crying, except if they are in physical pain. I practice empathy daily. And as for John Boehner, you have to give credit to a guy who has convinced America that his last name rhymes with complainer not owner. 

Ha ha, you thought I was going to say boner.

One more thing. I just finished an excellent book! "A Quiet Belief in Angels", by R.J. Ellory.  Actually that is probably why I had insomnia last night, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It's a little morbid but has a happy ending.

Beer and Politicians

I know most people think I am a crazy liberal. But I do have a fair criteria for picking politicians.  Can I have a beer with them? 

I could totally have a beer with Arnold, John McCain, Reagan, Nixon (ok the last 2 are dead). I used to think that I could have a beer with Palin, but then she started talking and I realized I would rather break a beer bottle on her face.

Tonight the Gubernatorial debates were televised. I tried, tried, tried to be neutral. But hands down I would much rather have a beer with Jerry Brown. Just for the record I did shake hands with him when I was a child. His hands are basketball player large and he fit both me and my brother's hand in his. He also told me I was pretty and since most of my childhood I was mistaken for a boy, even after I started wearing a bra, this went straight to my heart. Ok so let's put all the favoritism aside and look at Meg Whitman..........

So the bitch turned Ebay around , that's awesome. She can run a HUGE company, that's no joke, I get it. But her voting record in her own words is "atrocious". Belly up to my imaginary bar and it's acceptable if you wake up at the age of 23 years old and say, "Damn! I have had the priveledge of voting since I was 18 and I am such an asshole for not taking advantage of that. ".  Belly up to my bar at the ripe old age of Meg Whitman and display her erratic voting record and announce you are running to be the Governor of California.......I will not buy you a drink.

I am getting tired so I need to cut this short. Meg Whitman has spent, so far, $71 million of her personal fortune on her campaign.  Blink, blink, pace the room, go pee, open a beer and sit down and think.... how much is my personal fortune.  I bet you anything your personal fortune does not have room for $71 million in disposable cash. If you are a good person your disposable cash would go towards our suffering public schools, if you are a semi-decent person that cash would go for plastic surgery and if you are struggling with morals, that amount of cash could buy a lot of hookers and crack.

And I am so open-minded that I realize hookers have got to pay their mortgage and crack dealers need to pay rent.  But Meg Whitman does not deserve to be Governor of the state of California. And if I was a real writer I would not end with this paragraph...........but my cat is licking his ass within ear shot and I need to sign some permission slips and go to bed.

Pure Randomness

I have no particular subject to write about at this moment. My blogging/writing/creativity is suffering because I am no longer breastfeeding and my kids don't nap. When I first started blogging I would create blog posts in my head while breastfeeding, and then type them out during nap times. Those segments of "leisure" time no longer exist and now my brain is constantly preoccupied with monkey activities, or planning monkey activities. When I sit at my computer now I just play Farmville or some other time-waster on Facebook. Or I harass evil conservatives on Twitter or annoy the shit out of my mom friends by sending out stupid emails. Or I make up radio stations on Pandora, and then delete them later on.

I usually think of something brilliant to write just as I am falling asleep but when the morning rolls around I have already forgotten what it was. Now that my kids mostly sleep through the night, I don't remember those thoughts at 3am, because I roll-over and go back to sleep, or pee and then go back to sleep, or elbow my husband in the ribs to make him stop snoring and then go back to sleep. Instead of getting up to nurse, change a diaper, eat a bowl of cereal etc. etc.

I am not completely ready to give up blogging though. Not yet. I do have some random stuff in my head to share.

Remember that big ass earthquake that just happened in Chile? I had the news on that morning while my Dad was visiting and we were discussing it before my father slaughtered me at Scrabble. 3 days later I was driving in the van with the monkeys and Mike pipes up, "Mom where is your salami?"
"Salami?!"
"Yes, your salami, when is it going to come to San Ramon?"
"Salami?!! Mike what are you talking about?!!"
"Mom the big wave!! When is it going to hit us?"
I started to laugh so hard I swerved, and almost hit the center divider on San Ramon Valley Blvd.
"Honey that is a Tsunami, not a salami!"

Today Mike proclaimed that he is the master of all farts. I took a deep breath and composed a poker face and told him that was inappropriate. But seriously since Mike lives off of Dino nuggets and fruit he really is the master of all farts, so it was hard not to laugh. I just marvel at what his brain comes up with.

My youngest is thriving in speech therapy. In just a short time he went from gibberish and grunts to short sentences, and he is much easier to understand. The only quandary is that now he can ask for stuff and it's so wonderful to hear him talk that you just want to give it to him. Unfortunately he has learned how to ask for cookies, cupcakes, candy, or to go outside when it's raining etc. and it just breaks my heart to have to say no. I know how hard he works to communicate, and it is such a joy to hear his cute voice, but of course I still have to set the same rules with him as I do with Mike and Bekah. But shhhh, sometimes I do sneak him candy from my PMS stash.

Speaking of Jake his speech delay is significant enough to require special education preschool. I know it's what he needs but no parent wants to have their child need special education. I am just praying he will catch up with his peers by Kindergarten. And yes even though I am a dirty hippie Liberal, I pray. How can you be a mother and not pray? Even moms who are atheists pray, and if they say they don't pray, they are lying through their teeth!

So here is something that makes me angry..........how come nobody told me how sassy and bossy 4 year old girls can be?! When Mike turned 4 he went from a satanic 3 year to a really sweet 4 year old. I expected my daughter to do the same. But noooooo, she went from oppositional-defiant 3 year old to back-talking tyrant 4 year old. And I am actually kind of angry at my mom friends for not warning me. I know that sounds irrational, but damn what's the point of being in a mom's club and going outside of my comfort zone to make new friends if you all aren't willing to throw me a bone when it comes to new milestones. I am mostly kidding. I should know by now that every day, is a new day, when you are a parent. Just when you get used to a certain behavior their little brains and bodies go through a growth spurt and leave your aging ass, and brain, behind in the dust.

For example, I served my hazel eyed monster her breakfast the other morning and she actually said, "This is not what I ordered" and pushed her plate away. You know in cartoons when the person is so angry their face turns bright red and steam comes of their ears? That was me!
"Ordered?!! I am not a waitress!"

And that is not an insult to waitresses, because I am not smart enough to be a waitress. I would take somebody's order and get lost on the way to the kitchen, and then when I find the kitchen, I would forget the order. But I didn't take Bekah's "order" back to the kitchen. I remembered something I heard on Dr. Laura (OK her views on morals and politics don't mesh with mine but she occasionally has useful advice), when you feel like screaming, just sing. So I sang a lovely song to Bekah about how she had better eat her toast or she will be really hungry and cranky at school because I am not making anything else. Holy shit, it worked.

I have tried the singing instead of screaming a few more times with success. Only once has it backfired and Mike decided to sing a song back to me about how his mom is so stupid and mean and never lets him do anything fun. Which immediately made me scream for him to go on a time-out and I "forgot" about him for 15 minutes. I wonder what Dr. Laura would think about that?

Right now I am at the gym. I was just going to sit down and write something really quick and then work-out and shower and then watch Mike's Hip Hop class. It's the highlight of my week. A group of 5-8 year old boys doing Hip Hop. Freaking hilarious! One kid actually did the caterpillar. I have never seen a sober person do that outside of a bar. Well I got the writing down but now I have been summoned by the childcare staff to come get Bekah because she is refusing to go on a time-out, and kicked a teacher. Nice. I need to think of a song about how you should not abuse child care staff because we pay a lot of money to belong to this gym. Anyways........

P.S. I picked Bekah up from the daycare at our gym and I was furious. She had refused to go on a time-out for disobeying the staff and then proceeded to kick the staff. And as soon as Jake saw me then I had to pick him up as well because he started crying. We went for a walk to the van to put my gym bag away and I told Bekah she had better go back and apologize to her "teacher" or she will get no tv when we get home and no dance class tomorrow. That worked.

Stupak Amendment to Health Care Reform Bill

I am going to make this explanation, of the Stupak Amendment, as simple as possible. Not because I think my readers are simple, but because I know that most of my readers are parents. And if parents concentrate too intently on something while their children are awake..........well see the picture below for what can occur.


I started to write this informative post roughly 2 hours ago. In the meantime my 2 year old hand painted the bathroom mirror with soap, I had to mediate fights between my 3 and 5 year old, my 3 year old wanted an egg salad sandwich and then my 2 year old needed a diaper change. Now my bathroom smells fresh and fruity like our hand soap, but my house smells like poop and egg salad. I finally gave up and planted all three kids in front of the t.v. with some Halloween candy.

You are probably disgusted and thinking, "Why bother?". I bother because I have 3 kids, and I want my children to grow to adulthood in a country where abortions are safe and legal.

So here goes, I am going to try to explain the Stupak Amendment which was added to the Health Care Reform Bill which was passed last Saturday night (Nov. 7th 2009).

1) If Stupak goes through in the final health care bill abortions will not be covered by private or public insurance. You will have to pay for an abortion out of your own pocket. Average price is anywhere from $500.-$1,000. You can purchase a rider for your insurance to cover abortion in case of an accidental pregnancy. Kind of like earthquake or flood insurance that you add to your home owner's insurance. Nice huh?

2)The only abortions to be covered are pregnancies that occur from rape or incest, or “where a woman suffers from a physical disorder, physical injury, or physical illness that would, as certified by a physician, place the woman in danger of death.” . But you must keep a baby with severe abnormalities.

3) Allows discrimination against abortion providers.

Sound too simple? Read here for more information, and if you want a cure for insomnia, then read here for even more information.

If you agree with me and want your children to grow up in a country where a woman has the right to choose what to do with her body, and where physicians are not punished, and penalized, for offering controversial but legal services. Then go here to enter your zip code and find out who you need to call and give an ass-chewing.

If you don't I will send this guy to wreck your house.

Almost 1 year Blog Birthday

So N.E.O. Moms is almost a year old!! I am re-posting a blog post from my first blog. The below post is basically a precursor of N.E.O. Moms. It explains some of the drama that led to me creating a forum for moms/women/parents who don't get offended easily by the realities of life. This is review for long-term followers and necessary information for new followers.


So I am in a moms club, that has nothing to do with that other one, and have been since Mike was 6 months old. The camaraderie and support have been a lifesaver. In the 3 and a 1/2 years that I have been a member we have been mostly free of any controversy, until now. As the population of our club increases, so does the variety of personalities. We communicate by an email group, so of course the amount of emails have increased as well. This is where the conflict lies. Some of the moms were annoyed by the amount of emails,and then offended by content. This prompted our dear leader to send out an email that was basically a copy and paste of the bylaws. She is a cool chick and she is just fulfilling one of the roles of her position.

Well this prompted me, and some of my more vociferous friends, to wonder if it was something in particular that we wrote that provoked this smack down. Was it the email thread about penis water bottles, sex in exotic places, discarded foreskins or alcohol consumption, we will never know. So then everyone was on eggshells, sending out emails with disclaimers stating, I hope this is ok, I hope nobody is offended, I hope this is within our bylaws. I of course was one of those people and I sent it out tongue and cheek thinking this silliness would blow over and we could get back to the camraderie I thought all of us were enjoying. Wrong. I received a personal email back setting my ass straight.

This email was long, and swaddled in phrases of support for fellow moms, like respecting other mother's time and being sensitive to other mom's thresholds of offensiveness. But none of this could hide the underlying tone of condescension and control. I don't do condescending or authority very well. After reading this email I tried to sleep on it but that didn't work. I sent it to some very close friends to get feedback and that didn't quell my anger either. Then I sent out a smartass remark about mom's being too tired to use the delete button and that started a shit storm.

An onslaught of emails were posted by women whining about having to wade through a barrage of emails they found to be frivolous and inappropriate. They complained about their precious morning and afternoons being wasted because they had to read all these offensive emails. What ever happened to the delete buttons on their computers? When I am confronted by a boring thread of emails, I just delete them, no big deal.

As for offensiveness, this really gets my goat. We are mothers, we are women, we are adults. To paraphrase my friend Barb, you have to have sex to be a mother, it's kind of a prerequisite of a mom's club. So even if you adopted your child or used IVF, it's most likely that you at one point had sex and figured out it wasn't working like you planned. Even if you are a lesbian mother and have never had sex with a man, you at some point probably had sex with your partner. Considering the level of alarm that some of the mothers have expressed about the content of emails and conversations at our mom's night outs, I am thinking that their children are a result of virgin births or sex through a hole in a sheet. This is just my opinion of course.

Yes you heard right somebody complained about the adult conversations at one of our recent mom's nights out, that has nothing to do with any other mom's night out. Once a month we have a mom's night out event, that has nothing to do with any other event, with no children allowed, unless you are nursing. At the last event no children were present and somebody actually complained that we were talking about sex. If there are no children present then adult conversation is not inappropriate. Adult conversation should not be censored from email as well because it is assumed that a child is not reading an adult's emails. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure their children are not subjected to anything beyond their comprehension.

I am not alone in my opinion. I have received personal emails from women not easily offended, who agree with me and are dismayed by the path our club is taking. What is appropriate for adults is not appropriate for children. A successful mother's club realizes that distinction. What the new moms have yet to learn is that you can love and serve your children without sacrificing yourself. It is totally ok for you to be your true self and positively channel that into your childrearing practices. Otherwise you are going to be left alone with your husband, and you are going to be nothing but a shell. I am not talking about a pretty abalone shell, I am talking about an empty snail shell, with cobwebs.

It is absolutely fine for you to still hold onto the interests you had before becoming a parent. You may have to get a sitter to participate in them or even delay those activities for a few years, but you should not give them up. I enjoy cooking, dining out and reading. I can cook for guests while they watch my kids and keep them out of the kitchen. I get a sitter to dine out and I read before bed when my kids are asleep. What I really miss is listening to classical music and doing jigsaw puzzles. I know, I know, I am a closet nerd. I can put on classical music but my kids would eat and/or destroy a jigsaw puzzle so I don't even try. We are working up to camping and hiking. My point is that you don't have to completely give up who you are to be a good mom.

So is this division in the mom's club, different from that other mom's club, from new, inexperienced moms or is it a deeper division of philosophy? I recently went to a new member's house and saw a giant cross hanging on her wall. If I was a vampire or a werewolf, I would not feel safe in this neighborhood. As a Jew, I felt a little squirmy. I had a paranoid premonition that things in the mom's club were gonna change. Turns out I wasn't so paranoid. I really hope that is not it. If this sudden upheaval and outrage over behavior, we have grown accustomed to, is because of an infiltration of conservative christians, then I hope they join a mom's club in their church or I will just hit the road myself.

Well I think I have stirred up enough shit with this particular blog posting, what do you think? I need to watch t.v. with my husband now and go to bed soon.

Father's Day Kind of sucked 2009

Ok so I have been stuck at home today. Mike is still struggling with a cough and all 3 of my monkeys have some bowel issues. Erik is on-call, and it's intense. So I am alone.

I have cooked with my kids, cleaned with them, danced with them, watched t.v. with them, played with water, watched our cat kill a mouse, and eat half of it before I tore it out of his mouth. It's been the longest day, and how ironic it's the summer solstice, FACTUALLY, the longest day of the year.

In between hanging out with my monkeys I have been glued to CNN and twitter. This shit going on in Iran is riveting. Current President Achmina........however you pronounce his name, probably should have been voted out, but voter fraud has kept his ass in "power". Remember, Iran is not a secular state, it's really the clerics who call the shots. So a complete revolution is occuring in Iran and all of it is being documented by amateurs!! Just think of Les Miserable filmed on a cell phone.

The attempt by the Iranian government to shut-down twitter is obvious, even to illiterate techies like me. You click on somebody's post on twitter and they have no followers, and this is their first ever twitter message........just seems hinky, especially when there are several like that.

What is really disturbing is the video that has been posted world-wide of a young girl dying. Her name is Neda and she takes her last breaths on You Tube/twitter/Facebook and dies with her eyes open. Her father screaming her name. A doctor, a stranger to her from the crowd, tries to resucitate her, and fails, and prounounces her dead.

No wonder I wrestled a half chewed mouse from my cat's mouth, and threw it over the fence, into the creek. I have just had enough.

New Header and a Broken Pledge

I know I said I was going to keep the rainbow flag until after Pride Day, but I got bored. I am still down with N.E.O. LGBTs, but I have a short attention span and wanted to see a new picture.
Love,
Charlotte

Guest Bloggers, Party Pics, Renewed Commitment to Motherhood and Wifery

Wifery is not a word. If midwifery is a word why can't wifery be a word? I am still using it.

This is going to be a long post.

Thanks to all my guest bloggers!! Both in comments and in person, many of my friends told me how much they enjoyed the varied posts. You ladies rock!!

First things first. Last weekend kicked ass. Drunk before 5pm on a Saturday, girl-kissing, frontal nudity, pole-dancing, a penis whistle............that's what it's all about. For the sake of the bride I will not post nude pics (even though the nudity was my own), girl-kissing, or her face. She has a respectable job. Also her name really isn't "Lisa".

These pics are out of order, blogger hurts my brain sometimes. This is looking out the front door of the cabin. Excuse the wires I just wanted you to see that there is still snow in June. We stayed in a cabin in Truckee that belongs to Auntie M's in-laws. Way cool of them to let us stay there.

View off the back deck.

Mud-room. For native Californians, a mud-room is the entryway of a house in an area with bad weather. Like snow. I like that chandelier.




Front of the cabin, which is larger than my home by the way.

Living room of cabin and yes that is a feather boa you see in that box.

Stairs.

Awesome kitchen!!

I don't hunt either but I do have to say that the owner of this cabin "got" one of those bucks and his son "got" the other. And yes they do eat venison.

The view from the bedroom I stayed in.

I stayed in the "kid's" room and it was fine with me. I got to sleep in a bed by myself!!! For 2 whole nights!!!

Yep that's me. We were playing a card game and each card had a dare on it. "Lisa" picked dares for us to do and I got "Sip a drink from between a man's legs.". I am sipping beer from between this guy's legs. Yes my husband has seen this picture and no he doesn't care. I met this guy's wife too and she doesn't care either.

Drunk bride pole-dancing by 2pm. I told Auntie M she needs to do professional bacherlorette party planning.

Jack Black look-a-like with smelly pits. He was highly amusing. See the little penises on "Lisa's" veil.

I can't believe Auntie M and I look this good considering we had been drinking for hours!

She's beautiful. I am so glad my kids look like her. She is my husband's sister for those who are new to my blog. She is also my best friend and a total instigator of good times, and trouble.

Penis whistle.

Making money for the honeymoon.

I am sure you are wondering why we are taking a picture with a stranger in front of a train. Me and somebody else (I won't say who on this blog) flashed this train our titties. This guy is the conductor/engineer and he told us we made his day and took pictures with us. I will not post the flashing pictures because I was laughing so hard I couldn't suck my stomach in. That is not a pretty picture.

Damn that was fun! And I have to say that I took a cab back to the cabin from the bars, and was asleep by 10pm. I realized all of a sudden that, "Oh shit, I gotta go home and take care of 3 kids tommorrow.". That is really hard to do when you are hungover. I know because I have done it and I don't reccomend it.

So Truckee is about 3 hours from San Ramon and Auntie M did all the driving so it gave me time to think. Between reading trashy mags in the back seat I contemplated how just 2 nights away from my kids was a huge attitude adjustment. I felt so much better physically (sleep is good) and emotionally. I made a commitment to be less cranky, and sarcastic (who me?) and more engaged.

When I get stressed out I can emotionally dis-engage. I am sure I am not the only parent, or person to do this. So I may be blogging less because I need to talk to my husband more at night. And I want Erik to have a weekend away too, it's very beneficial.

Right now I am doing this post during naptime and we are stuck at home today because Mike has a fever. Poor monkey. Jake is getting over the croup too. Poor Bekah is healthy and is stuck at home with sick brothers. I am getting restless too but obviously I can't drag Mike and Jake out in public.

Anyways.......if any of my mom friends out there can take a break from your life I strongly urge you to do it! Vacations make better parents.

George Tiller Is a Hero

I am generally not this political and militant but in the last week 2 issues that are very important to me have been in the spotlight. Gay rights, and a woman's right to choose.

I was very disappointed last week when Prop 8 was upheld, denying gays their civil right to get married. Now an abortion physician was gunned down in his house of worship. That is vile. It is wrong to assassinate this man, but it is an even worse crime to murder him in a sacred space.

Now we get to hear from whack-jobs like Terry Randall, founder of Operation Rescue. His heartfelt quote of the day was that Dr. Tiller, "...reaped what he sowed.". What a hateful, disgusting, person.

The last 8 years the ultra-conservative right wing branch of the Republicans have been sitting around getting fat and happy. They have been complacent while our planet is dying, science was being debunked, and poorly funded, and civil rights were whittled away. Now that we have a progressive person as our President, it's like somebody threw chlorine in their stagnant pool of hate and ignorance.

But does the group of hate-mongers go out and vote? No. Do they organize peacefully in their local communities? No.

OK, OK, I realize last week I entertained the thought of rioting after Prop 8 was upheld, but you know I am just full of it right? Trust me I didn't go throw a flaming newsstand through a plate glass window.

As much as people hate George W. Bush nobody assassinated him. He had shoes thrown at him, but that was in Iraq. Why are the ultra-conservative so violent? Both in action and speech.

Dr. George Tiller provided quality health care to American women. A healer's job should never have to be dangerous. I can't imagine my husband having to wear a bullet-proof vest to work everyday, or having his own private security guard, or driving an armored car. Dr. Tiller had to do all of these things because he was courageous enough to provide abortions for women who were experiencing dangerous pregnancies.

Bill O'Reilly from Fox news called him, "Tiller the baby killer.". Obviously I disagree. A man who put himself in such danger everyday to uphold the rights of women is a hero.

I Hate Prop 8

So today started off pretty awesome with a Hispanic woman being picked as a nominee, for our nation's Supreme Court. But then civil rights took a step backwards just as quickly as it progressed.



The horribly hateful Proposition 8 was upheld by California's Supreme Court. 6-1. To quote my brother Brandon, that is "6 justices who don't believe in civil rights.". I was angry and disappointed, but I turned off the television, and had a nice playdate with a friend and her adorable son. Then comes naptime, and my computer time, and now I am really angry after reading an article on S.F. Gate.

These are the paragraphs in particular that made me angry:



Among the first to go were Shawn Higgins and Robert Franco of San Francisco. The two men, who said they are engaged to marry, had stood for about an hour in the intersection calmly kissing while demonstrators all around them screamed, "Prop. 8 will go down, San Francisco (is a) big queer town" and other slogans.

Damn straight San Francisco is a big queer town! (excuse the pun) And don't you forget it! Who let the Prop 8 supporters over the bridges?!



Jorge Riley, 31, of Sacramento also got up early to make the drive to San Francisco to hoist his sign reading, "Gay = Pervert."

Seriously?! What a hateful, horrible person.

This is a civil rights issue, plain and simple. If you do not agree with me please do not read my blog, do not leave any comments on my blog, and do not follow my blog. Quietly go and unfollow me. And tell your friends not to read my blog. I am too angry and disgusted to be diplomatic right now.

I think rioting is completely warranted. I know that is a shocking statement, but think about it. Somebody is telling you that you can't get married. Think really hard about that........you can't marry the person you love. Wouldn't you feel outraged? Hurt? Demeaned? Feel less than a second class citizen? I would.

I want to take to the streets but I am ashamed to admit that I get caught up in the logistics of whose going to watch my kids while I am in jail. And honestly I don't want my kids around those hateful, ignorant Prop. 8 supporters. They frighten me, so I am sure they would frighten my kids.

This is the part of that article that gave me hope:

While some police officers kept watch from the outside of the protest circle, about 10 officers were positioned inside. Each of those 10 officers are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, said Lt. Lea Militello of the Tenderloin Station.


"Absolutely it affects me. I got married in October," she said.


Police Sgt. Carl Tennenbaum said the officers on the scene ranged from gay to conservative, and many had to say they had "mixed feelings would be putting it mildly." However, he said, "You just have to set the issues aside and do your job."

Maybe when supporters of Prop. 8 see that this truly affects "normal" citizens like police officers, they will begin to change their minds. I say this because I am under the impression that many supporters of this hateful legislation have only experienced stereotypes of homosexuals. They are not aware that gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgender people come from every walk of life. So I believe we will have a chance to put this on the ballot again and make justice and equality for everyone.

Bush's Exit Interview

I watched the speech tonight because I am a nerd like that. It was background noise as I made dinner for my savages but there were a few lines that caught my attention. Bush actually declared that the hard decisions that he made came from his conscience, from his morals. And that he would hope that Americans at least would appreciate that he had made hard decisions, somebody had to do it right?


Wow, really? So if I make the hard decision to dump my kids' diaper pails on my neighbors' lawn, should I expect them to appreciate me? I mean that is a hard decision, but damn't I went ahead and dumped a week's worth of pee pee and poopy diapers on my neighbors' lawn, they should appreciate that because it came from my conscience.


Bush also made a comment about how we should not turn inward ( I am paraphrasing), that turning inward would result in isolationism and protectionism. And that we should pursue liberty abroad. So to me that means going to any other country and colonizing, conquering, putting the mother fucking smack down, is completely ok in the name of liberty. Another hard sell as far as I am concerned. I mean Liberty is a wonderful word, right up there with Freedom, Love, etc. But when you go and blow up your neighbors in the name of liberty it doesn't sound as pretty.

Ugh, I have now lost interest in this post, even though I started it. I am just done with him. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Sayanora, Adieu, Adios, Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out, seriously, FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liberals Need to Have More Kids

Now anyone who knows me knows that I support a woman's right to choose. I strongly believe that family planning is hugely personal and none of my damn business. So you just need to hear me out while I try to sweet-talk you into having some kids.

This weekend I was at a party at a friend's house who has 3 kids, just like me, she has a set of twins though. I met this woman through my old mom's club that I unintentionally blew up. I have remained friends with her because she is way cool and because I don't feel like a freak of nature around her. This woman is also a member of a club for mother's of twins, triplets etc. A few months ago the 2 clubs collided at a kiddie museum, and I felt so much more at home with the mom's of multiple children. Recalling this experience with her, over a few glasses of wine last weekend, got me to thinking how come I can't find more like-minded people with more than 2 kids.

So I started searching on the internet, and basically it's divided into 2 camps: Conservatives with big familes and Liberals with zero, 1 or 2 kids. I could not find anything about Liberals embracing large families.

And yes I know the first argument I am going to hear; Carbon Footprint. I get it, more people on this planet depletes more resources. But what if Liberals have more kids than the Conservatives and the Liberals' kids grow up to be fiercely ecological and save the planet? It could happen.


Simply put the Xtian right wing are popping out babies all over the place, so some of us liberals have to do our part to stock the voting booths. Just because Obama got into office doesn't mean we can get all complacement, we need to think 4 years ahead. My genes gave me the hips and boobs, and society gave me the attitude needed to produce some compassionate, and informed, future voters. I have done my part what about you?

I truly understand your hesitation. Honestly for years I did not want kids at all, but then I met a man worthy of children. I dated many a guy I would marry, but not reproduce with. My standards for myself are much lower than the standards I set for a father of my children. My husband would have many more kids, but being pregnant is not my favorite state of being, so I am done.

Need a little more proof that Liberals need to have more kids. Check out the link below. It is an excellent article explaining in length, the diminishing population of progressives. Progressive is what you can call yourself if Liberal makes you feel funny. In summary, Conservatives have huge families mostly because they follow more evangelical religions. And it shows that statistically most kids do not rebel against Conservative parents, so therefore they also give birth to large Conservative families. Not good for the future of my America.

http://www.newamerica.net/publications/articles/2006/the_return_of_patriarchy


Even further proof that Liberals/Progressives need to outnumber the politically Conservative. Below is a disgusting racist article from a racist blog that I tripped upon while doing my half-assed research this evening. This moron cites the Duggar family (Mormons with 18 kids) as the perfect "White" family. Ewwww. The comments were just as revolting. The people who read this blog were going on about how wonderful it is that all of these children only have one father and that they are not minorities and hopefully the Liberal media won't villify them. Frightening.

http://www.amren.com/mtnews/archives/2008/05/happy_mothers_d.php



Leave it to S.F. Gate to put it into basic terms for the simple-minded like me. This chick cites Longman's essay, and breaks it down simply that Liberals need to have more kids, not pets. She closes the article by making a joke about putting birth control in the water system of Salt Lake City, Utah. That's one way to take care of a Red state.


http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/09/17/INGEJL45D11.DTL


So if you can afford them, have a few. Take one for the team, I sure did.

The Last Word on History-Disclaimers Are Good In The Land Of Lawsuits

I am an over-explainer, like most women, so that's why I am going on and on about why I started this blog for not easily offended moms. Otherwise known as N.E.O.Moms.


For somebody just tuning in; I am a nice person with a big mouth that got me into trouble and I was kicked off the Yahoo! groups of a mom's club and then I eventually quit the whole club because some women could seriously not get over it! They were calling each other and crying and reading my other blog and calling their friends and telling them to read it and then crying some more and sending me bitchy emails. Wow! It was like being a hermaphrodite in 8th grade gym class, or something similar.


So I quit the club thinking that if you take the fuel out of the fire it would die, right? Wrong. So below is a disclaimer I had to put on my other blog telling women to stop reading my blog and thinking it's about them. And actually it's a pretty good disclaimer for any blog, including N.E.O. Moms, so keep that in mind when you read it. Of course if you have gotten this far you are probably not one of those stick up your ass kind of chicks who needs disclaimers.


November 1st 2008

Last night I had a dream that I was in bookstore and found one of my old journals on a bookshelf. It doesn't take Freud to figure what that meant. My blog is my online journal that I let people look at. And even though this is my intellectual property if I put the names of real people in here I have to take responsibility for that.


A few times this week I have been asked to change some stuff on my blog. The first person to do so is a beloved friend. A rational, loving, kind and well-balanced person that I would take a bullet for with no hesitation. So I dropped everything I was doing and complied with her request.


Another person, quite unlike the person described above, also asked me to do so. No.

I have also received a thinly veiled threat of a lawsuit.


I know, I know. You are thinking "What?! Really?! Are you shitting me?!" No I am not. Even though this blog was originally started as a creative outlet for me some people actually enjoy reading it. I am very flattered by that. But there are also some people who enjoy reading it so they can cause drama and strife.


Some moms have started to read it because it's becoming a little bit like Jerry Springer and they think it's funny, I am ok with that too. I slow down on the freeway to look at car wrecks too. But some people are reading it because they are the type of people who like to pick scabs and then get upset when they bleed.


So today instead of sweating off Halloween candy on the treadmill I am going through my entire blog and removing names. I am using my gym's free WiFi and day care because I am paranoid enough to believe this thinly veiled threat.


I am very angry about this. After today if you read a description of a person and you think it's about you, it's not. I know the old saying is if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck and looks like a duck then it must be a duck. When it comes to my blog that saying does not apply. If I don't name it duck, then it's not a duck, it's a unicorn.


Even if you swear up and down the person I am describing is you, it's not. Even if you really want it to be you, it's not. Even if anywhere I go or groups I belong to sound familiar, they are not. It's a coincidence or a complete fabrication. This blog now exists in a identical twin parallel universe. And my universe is better than your's and crazy, psycho, drama queens are not welcome.

Lawyers aren't welcome either. Unless I was already friends with them before today.


But if you are angry and just really, really have to say something to me about it. Don't email me, please feel free to leave a comment on my blog. That way everyone can share my joy. Save the drama for your mama and vote for Obama. That came from a friend but I can't put her name here anymore.


Remember it's all about me, not you!!!!!!

More Mama Drama-The Consequence of Being a Smart-Ass

So I will briefly explain what is below. I blew up a mom's club. It was an awesome group of women and then it got too big and some not so awesome women joined and they were too easily offended. Below is an explanation of what went down. It is from my other blog that has more to do with me and my kids, this new blog is just for moms who don't have sticks up their asses. Below is some of history about how this new blog needs to exist.


October 2008


Oh will it ever end? So I wrote in an earlier post about the drama going on in my mom's club. Drama that is completely new to us as we grow larger and less intimate. I will be brief in my explanation of this new shitstorm that I have apparently caused.

My friend and former President of the moms club's husband is running for water management board, and I am not using any names here or real positions. So our club was running a poll and I made a joke saying that a poll was a great way to practice voting for next week and that we should vote No on 8, Yes on Obama and Yes on this woman's husband. So a new member I have never met or heard of, sent out an email saying that the mom's club is not a political club and that I need to keep my opinions to myself. So I felt bad because I am causing problems for my friend who is president, so I sent out a nice apology. That is the email directly below. Well a bunch of other moms sent me personal emails expressing disbelief that somebody could actually be offended so I wrote a fake letter just for them. That one is below the real one that I sent out.


Dear L and anyone I offended,

As a former member of the board, I am aware of the bylaws and you are right this is not a political club. By the way the bylaws are a great way to cure insomnia, just ask Madame President M. I know she has had to peruse them quite frequently in the past few weeks and I sincerely apologize to her for causing any problems with my previous email. I also apologize to you L. and anyone else that was offended.


L. since you are new I am sure we haven't met and you may not be aware that there was a punchline in that email. Our former Moms Club President's husband is running for the San Ramon Water Management Board. Though this role is important, it is politically benign and he is a super nice guy so I was offering my support. So when it comes to apologies, I don't apologize for saying vote for him. Unless of course your partner is running against him for same position and then I do apologize to you again.


L. I encourage you to participate at club events and then you can see that we are all friendly, but it's hard to tell that by emails sometimes unless you rely heavily on emoticons to express yourself. # : ) I did not make it to all of the events this week and if you were at the Halloween party this morning I am sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself, I was chasing my boys.


Welcome to the club,
Charlotte mother to:Michael 4 years old, Rebekah almost 3 years old and Jacob 19 months old


Below is the fake email that I only sent to a few people, it was just my way of venting.


Dear L. and any other bitch that bursts into tears when somebody looks at you cross-eyed,


As a former member of the board, a thankless job just like motherhood, I am completely aware that I was breaking one of our million bylaws. I have to admit I was fishing people like you out of the moms club population so when we do split off I know where not to go. I do apologize to M for causing her to have to deal with more whining that seems to never end from the likes of you. Thing is M is a big girl and will probably get over it loooong before you do.


L. , and you other bitches, since you are new we probably haven't met and if we have it will probably take me a year to remember your face since all the pot I smoked in an earlier life and the ravages of motherhood have left me short on braincells. It would also help though if you actually showed up to moms club events. Before having kids I was never in a club so I really don't understand the point of joining something and never showing up. (Well except for my old gym membership. )Unless you actually like to sit home in your p.j.s feeling sorry for yourself and sending out snotty emails, then by all means party on.

But actually we are really friendly in person, in fact if you showed up in your p.j.s nobody would really care, especially if you bring us cookies. In fact I went to a moms club event today, without showering and wearing one of my husband's shirts and people still talked to me. My kids looked gorgeous and we were out of the house socializing and that is what is most important.


If you and the other spazzes would come to stuff you would also maybe get some inside jokes because you would meet other moms and know who they are and that their husband was running for city stuff. I mean really if I didn't know my friend do you think I would give a flying fuck about the water management board?!


Ok really we had 4 events going on this week, you could at least go to 1! And don't fucking whine to me how hard it is to get out of the house, I am well aware of that. My morning started before the sun came up and before noon I had changed 4 diapers, fed 6 mammals if you include all my kids, me, my husband and the damn cat,made a sack lunch,dressed 2 kids and yelled at the other to dress himself, brushed their hair, took one kid to preschool while the other 2 tagged along, delivered a bale of hay and cheese and crackers to a moms club event and made sure my boys ate something besides cookies and cigarette butts, returned the bale of hay, got the van washed and vacuumed all the hay out, fed the boys lunch, dropped off son at school and picked up daughter, put her and younger brother down to nap, ate my lunch, and drank roughly 600 milligrams of caffiene. I dare you to whine to my face about how hard it is to get out of the house.



Welcome to the club,

Charlotte mother to:
Michael 4 years old honey moon baby, Rebekah almost 3 years old didn't use a condom or birth control after I stopped nursing, Jacob 19 months old was on the birth control pill for the first 7 weeks of his gestational life.


P.S..
L. you didn't tell us your political affiliation when you sent out your brief, albeit bitchy email, so I will just take a wild guess that you won't be needing any extra No On 8 signs from my front yard. Go ahead and call me a liberal queer loving fag hag, because I have been called worse. In fact if you have been in our moms club for awhile you would know that my 4 year old has been known to call me a poopy vagina.
Peace out.

The Beginning of the Shit Storm

Friday, October 17, 2008

Mama Drama
So I am in a moms club, and have been since my oldest was 6 months old. The camraderie and support have been a lifesaver. In the almost 4 years that I have been a member we have been mostly free of any controversy, until now. As the population of our club increases, so does the variety of personalities. We communicate by an email group, so of course the amount of emails have increased as well. This is where the conflict lies.


Some of the moms were annoyed by the amount of emails,and then offended by content. This prompted our dear leader to send out an email that was basically a copy and paste of the bylaws. She is a cool chick and she is just fulfilling one of the roles of her position.


Well this made me, and some of my more vociferous friends, to wonder if it was something in particular that we wrote that provoked this smackdown. Was it the email thread about penis water bottles, sex in exotic places, discarded foreskins or alcohol consumption, we will never know.

So everyone was on eggshells, sending out emails with disclaimers stating, I hope this is ok, I hope nobody is offended, I hope this is within our bylaws. I of course was one of those people and I sent it out tongue and cheek thinking this silliness would blow over and we could get back to the camraderie I thought all of us were enjoying. Wrong. I received a personal email back setting my ass straight.



This email was long, and swaddled in phrases of support for fellow moms, like respecting other mother's time and being sensitive to other mom's thresholds of offensiveness. But none of this could hide the underlying tone of condescension and control. I don't do condescending or authority very well.


After reading this email I was fuming. I tried to sleep on it but that didn't work. I sent it to some very close friends to get feedback and that didn't quell my anger either. Then I sent out a smartass remark about mom's being too tired to use the delete button and that started a shit storm.


An onslaught of emails were posted by women whining about having to wade through a barrage of emails they found to be frivolous and inappropriate. They complained about their precious morning, and afternoons, being wasted because they had to read all these offensive emails. What ever happened to the delete buttons on their computers? When I am confronted by a boring thread of emails, I just delete them, no big deal.

As for offensiveness, this really gets my goat. We are mothers, we are women, we are adults. To paraphrase a dear friend, you have to have sex to be a mother, it's kind of a prerequisite. So even if you adopted your child or used IVF, it's most likely that you at one point had sex and figured out it wasn't working like you planned. Even if you are a lesbian mother and have never had sex with a man, you at some point probably had sex with your partner. (And seriously if you have ever gone muff-diving, I am thinking you don't have a conservative bone left in your body. )


Considering the level of alarm that some of the mothers have expressed about the content of emails and conversations at our mom's night outs, I am thinking that their children are a result of virgin births or sex through a hole in a sheet.


Yes, you heard right, somebody complained about the adult conversations at one of our recent mom's nights out. Once a month we have a mom's night out event, with no children allowed. At the last event no children were present and somebody actually complained that we were talking about sex.


If there are no children present then adult conversation is not inappropriate. Adult conversation should not be censored from email as well because it is assumed that a child is not reading an adult's emails. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure their children are not subjected to anything beyond their comprehension.


I am not alone in my opinion. I have received personal emails from women not easily offended, who agree with me and are dismayed by the path our club is taking. What is appropriate for adults is not appropriate for children. A successful mother's club realizes that distinction. What the new moms have yet to learn is that you can love and serve your children without sacrificing yourself. It is totally ok for you to be your true self and positively channel that into your childrearing practices. Otherwise you are going to be left alone with your husband, and you are going to be nothing but a shell. I am not talking about a pretty abalone shell, I am talking about an empty snail shell, with cobwebs.


It is absolutely fine for you to still hold onto the interests you had before becoming a parent. You may have to get a sitter to participate in them, or even delay those activities for a few years, but you should not give them up. I enjoy cooking, dining out and reading. I can cook for guests while they watch my kids, and keep them out of the kitchen. I get a sitter to dine out, and I read before bed when my kids are asleep.


What I really miss is listening to classical music and doing jigsaw puzzles. I know, I know, I am a closet nerd. I can put on classical music but my kids would eat and/or destroy a jigsaw puzzle so I don't even try. We are working up to camping and hiking. My point is that you don't have to completely give up who you are to be a good mom.


So is this division in the mom's club, from new, inexperienced moms or is it a deeper division of philosophy? I recently went to a new member's house and saw a giant cross hanging on her wall. If I was a vampire or a werewolf, I would not feel safe in this neighborhood. As a Jew, I felt a little squirmy. I had a paranoid premonition that things in the mom's club were gonna change. Turns out I wasn't so paranoid. I really hope that is not it. If this sudden upheaval and outrage over behavior we have grown accustomed to, is because of an infiltration of conservative christians, then I hope they join a mom's club in their church, or I will just hit the road myself.

A blog seperate from my family blog

I started this new blog because I feel responsible for blowing up my mom's club. Now it's cleaving into 2 groups and I am a member of neither! Me and my big mouth. The story is long and complicated, but funny in a squirmy-I-am-so-glad-I-am-not-her kind of way. I will get to that later.


When bitching and moaning about the fact that the newer members of my old mom's club were rather stodgy, I got so many emails and calls from friends in and out of that particular mom's club telling me that judgemental, prudish women were common! Really? And then I had to defend my old mom's club, saying, "Oh no we used to be really cool and mellow we just got too big. And then some conservative chicks joined and it went downhill.". But alot of mom's were adamant that the majority of women in any mom's club are stuck-up, prudish and just plain mean. How sad.


So 2 friends of mine started an informal group of moms and asked me to be an honorary "leader" since I am the one who started the need for a group of moms that aren't uptight. I also started this because I wanted a place where I could share stories, thoughts and activities of moms who don't get their panties in a bunch over nothing! So that's why I started this blog.

So let's see how this pans out.