Showing posts with label judgemental. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgemental. Show all posts

Monday, July 27, 2009

I am Alone

All 3 kids are in camp this morning! 9a-1pm M,W, and F. of this week they are in a day camp at our temple. I seriously can't decide what to do with myself.

Do I go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, drive home and masturbate with my bedroom door wide open? Nope. The first thing I did was finish filling out their paperwork, because of course I can't leave them there without it, and I hadn't done it yet. I am a master procrastinator. That took me a fucking hour and 15 minutes! Is this day camp or the secret service. Damn!

Jake cried when I left but he's in good hands, and Mike and Bekah were consoling him. I felt a twinge of sadness but it was fleeting. As soon as I saw the Starbucks sign I was over it. Now I am sitting here with my laptop, a quad shot non-fat mocha, a 1/2 eaten banana and I still don't know what the hell to do with myself.

I guess I will start with some blogging and schedule them to be posted periodically throughout the summer. You probably figured out that I gave up on my Weekly Weight Watchers recipes. Commitment is a challenge for me, probably why I didn't get married until I was 32 years old. I will post a recipe here and there, especially since I would really like to lose at least 5 more pounds before my 20 year high school reunion August 29th. But the weekly thing was an idea suited for somebody way more organized than I am.

Wednesday I do have an appointment and during this free time maybe I will go see the dentist and get my hair colored. That's not frivolity, the gray is coming in with vengenance. I believe I shall go as blonde as my eyebrows will let me. Why not?

I want to have fun and enjoy myself but I feel the need to balance this alone time with some real errands or work since my poor husband is slaving away at the moment.

Speaking of my husband we had a fight last week. We never fight. We snap at each other now and then, because we get tired and irritable but that's about it. Last week I was gently informing him that since my brother is getting married in September there are a bridal shower and a bacherlorette party on the books and I need his call schedule so I can figure out which one to go to. Of course I am leaning towards the bacherlorette party since that will be more fun. Well you think that I had asked him to serve me his balls on a platter.

He got all quiet and pouty looking and I asked him, "Are you pouting?". And he said, "A little." And I asked, "Why?". And he said, "Because you just got back from a bacherlorette weekend and left me with the kids.". "Well honey you are welcome to have a weekend alone with your guy friends too. You can go on that ski weekend with the guys from the hospital this year. As long as you stay away from the bad, slutty husbands.".

That didn't seem to cheer him up. And a few minutes later he said, "You can only go to one event! I am putting my foot down! You are only allowed to go to one event!".

At first I wanted to laugh hysterically! Then I realized he was serious. Dark anger washed over me, I had to take deep breaths, I was standing next to a block of knives, my hands were slippery from washing dishes, this could get very ugly.

Of course I was only planning to go to one event, not both. I may be a lot of things but I am not unfair. I wouldn't like it if he left me alone multiple weekends to party with his friends and family. Having kids is about sacrifice and I don't expect to have the carefree social life I used to lead. But I wasn't going to tell him that now, he pissed me off! And this wasn't drinking with my girlfriends, these are wedding events, for family, my brother!!!

I have come a long way baby when it comes to my anger management. I resisted the urge to yell and throw stuff and swear and call names. Well almost. I said, "What are you a fucking Promise Keeper?!". You know those right-wing Christian men that promise to uphold their marriage vows but really just boss their wives around? Erik said, "What?!" I said through clenched teeth, "You can't put your foot down and tell me what to do. What if this was your family member getting married? Do you think I wouldn't let you go?!." Then it deteriorated into the age old he works and I stay home and eat Bons Bons fight. Nice.

I walked away from that and went back to my Bons Bons, and dishes and kitchen floor and yelling at the kids. Then we both calmed down.

I sat on his lap and he apologized and said he was just really tired and he didn't mean to say that. And I said, "Honey I was only going to go to one event anyways, I am not an asshole. And you can go out and party with your buddies anytime, seriously, I owe you." . So we made up and it's all good!

I just didn't want you to think my life was perfect.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Breastfeeding a 3rd grader, Judgemental moms, Other random thoughts

The other night my husband and I happened upon a 20/20 episode on breastfeeding older children. I have read on other blogs that the entire show was on extreme mothering,but Erik and I only saw the breastfeeding segment.

Ok so one of my rules to be a N.E.O. mom is to let other women make the choice to do what they want to do with their bodies and children. Another rules is that rules are meant to be broken, and that is what I am going to do now. 20/20 showed a woman breastfeeding 2.5 year old twins, yawn, big deal. Then a woman was shown nursing a 5 year old, not my thing but he seemed rather babyish so maybe it was appropriate for their family. Then they showed a woman breastfeeding her 8 year old daughter. Ewwwww!

I was already wearing a bra by the time I was 8 years old! I realize I was an early bloomer, so I started thinking about my 8 year old niece,who is more average,and I could not see her being interested in breastfeeding either.

In a third world country where water is unsafe with an inadequate food supply, breastfeeding your children to the age of 8 makes sense. In a country such as the U.S. or U.K. I just don't see that it is necessary, or even beneficial, if we think about a child's emotional development. And I am not anti-breastfeeding at all, I nursed all 3 kids, I just had no desire to do it forever.

Ok I need to talk about something else now. I love evites. You can see who is attending the same party that you have been invited to and that's very important when you recently had to quit a mom's club that you accidentally blew up. So I was invited to a lovely child's birthday party this morning, and I was checking the evite to see who would be there. "Hmmm, oh good I like that chick, oh good I miss her too, phew thank G-d she won't be there, oh shit not her and her too!?". But I am a mature woman and would never do anything to ruin a child's birthday. And my sweet husband said, "I am your friend honey and I will talk to you.".

So I visited with the mom of birthday child who is a friend, and I hung out with some friends from my new and improved mom's club, and I got to visit with 2 women that I miss from the old mom's club. The other 2 women I ignored.

Unfortunately one of those women is not to easy to ignore. She falls into that extreme mothering episode from 20/20. Strongly opinionated and super judgemental. She doesn't vaccinate her child. Do I need to say more?

Well after free play the kids started munching on pizza and that always brings up the topic of picky eaters,of which my oldest is known for being the pickiest. Somebody said something about Dino nuggets (my oldest's favorite food) and annoying mom goes off, "Oh that is not the child,that is all the parents' fault. They just need to offer their kids other foods and they will eat them.". I had to leave the room. You are probably thinking that is no reason to be annoyed but she said this in a very loud voice, totally directed at me and I am not good at being quiet so I just walked out to check on my Dino nugget eating 4 year old.

Later , said 4 year old shows up to eat cupcakes. Don't worry I always feed him before parties because I know he doesn't eat pizza. I just feed him before the party so I don't have to fight with him about food, and then he can have cupcakes after everyone else is done eating their lunch. So Mike was being silly and said, "Look I have a moustache.". It was all frosting from his cupcake on his upper lip, cute. Annoying mom immediately starts asking him in the most patronizing voice possible, "What color is the frosting Mike? Can you tell me? Do you know what color that is?". My oldest looks at her blankly and makes an unintelligible noise like he just got off the short bus. Jeez Mike throw your mother a bone! It would have been the perfect time for him to say, "Why yes this frosting is a lovely shade of indigo.".

Once again I chose to leave the room instead of kicking her in the face. I am no Miss Manners but I am pretty sure that kicking another mother in the face is not appropriate behavior at a child's birthday party.

In her defense, annoying, judgemental mom was so busy pointing out other parents' faults she didn't say anything about the old mom's club being blown up. Another guest that I like very much did say that the club I quit is dead now! She said it's boring and nobody shows up to anything. So I asked her if she would like to join our new informal group and she was very enthusiastic. It makes sense the old club is dead, we stole all the women that don't have sticks up their asses.


So just when I think that old mom's club drama is dead it gets brought up again. Sometimes quite innocently like mentioned above when I am told it's boring now that I am gone. Which I find flattering. Other times that fiasco is brought up at the most bizarre moments.

Recently I recognized a woman from my oldest's previous preschool in the line at the grocery store. We said Hi and she mentioned that she heard of me recently because some neighbors were talking about what had happened with the mom's club. What?!! How small is this damn suburb?!!

This makes me nervous because I don't know who her neighbors are, but she puts me at ease and says that she agrees it was really stupid for me to have to quit. Phew. She then goes on to say that they miss me, "Especially Sharon.". That's great except I don't know anyone named Sharon! So Sharon misses me and she has never met me? These women need a new hobby.

Then at the gym wrapped in a towel,making small talk with another woman, this woman blurts out, "So what happened with your mom's club?". Unbelievable. So I try to briefly explain it, but I start to get fired up talking about it and I use my hands a lot when I am talking and my towel falls to my ankles. Awkward.

My advice is always be careful what you say and what you email, especially if you live in suburb, small town or associate with a lot of women that have sticks up their asses.



Monday, June 1, 2009

George Tiller Is a Hero

I am generally not this political and militant but in the last week 2 issues that are very important to me have been in the spotlight. Gay rights, and a woman's right to choose.

I was very disappointed last week when Prop 8 was upheld, denying gays their civil right to get married. Now an abortion physician was gunned down in his house of worship. That is vile. It is wrong to assassinate this man, but it is an even worse crime to murder him in a sacred space.

Now we get to hear from whack-jobs like Terry Randall, founder of Operation Rescue. His heartfelt quote of the day was that Dr. Tiller, "...reaped what he sowed.". What a hateful, disgusting, person.

The last 8 years the ultra-conservative right wing branch of the Republicans have been sitting around getting fat and happy. They have been complacent while our planet is dying, science was being debunked, and poorly funded, and civil rights were whittled away. Now that we have a progressive person as our President, it's like somebody threw chlorine in their stagnant pool of hate and ignorance.

But does the group of hate-mongers go out and vote? No. Do they organize peacefully in their local communities? No.

OK, OK, I realize last week I entertained the thought of rioting after Prop 8 was upheld, but you know I am just full of it right? Trust me I didn't go throw a flaming newsstand through a plate glass window.

As much as people hate George W. Bush nobody assassinated him. He had shoes thrown at him, but that was in Iraq. Why are the ultra-conservative so violent? Both in action and speech.

Dr. George Tiller provided quality health care to American women. A healer's job should never have to be dangerous. I can't imagine my husband having to wear a bullet-proof vest to work everyday, or having his own private security guard, or driving an armored car. Dr. Tiller had to do all of these things because he was courageous enough to provide abortions for women who were experiencing dangerous pregnancies.

Bill O'Reilly from Fox news called him, "Tiller the baby killer.". Obviously I disagree. A man who put himself in such danger everyday to uphold the rights of women is a hero.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I Hate Prop 8

So today started off pretty awesome with a Hispanic woman being picked as a nominee, for our nation's Supreme Court. But then civil rights took a step backwards just as quickly as it progressed.



The horribly hateful Proposition 8 was upheld by California's Supreme Court. 6-1. To quote my brother Brandon, that is "6 justices who don't believe in civil rights.". I was angry and disappointed, but I turned off the television, and had a nice playdate with a friend and her adorable son. Then comes naptime, and my computer time, and now I am really angry after reading an article on S.F. Gate.

These are the paragraphs in particular that made me angry:



Among the first to go were Shawn Higgins and Robert Franco of San Francisco. The two men, who said they are engaged to marry, had stood for about an hour in the intersection calmly kissing while demonstrators all around them screamed, "Prop. 8 will go down, San Francisco (is a) big queer town" and other slogans.

Damn straight San Francisco is a big queer town! (excuse the pun) And don't you forget it! Who let the Prop 8 supporters over the bridges?!



Jorge Riley, 31, of Sacramento also got up early to make the drive to San Francisco to hoist his sign reading, "Gay = Pervert."

Seriously?! What a hateful, horrible person.

This is a civil rights issue, plain and simple. If you do not agree with me please do not read my blog, do not leave any comments on my blog, and do not follow my blog. Quietly go and unfollow me. And tell your friends not to read my blog. I am too angry and disgusted to be diplomatic right now.

I think rioting is completely warranted. I know that is a shocking statement, but think about it. Somebody is telling you that you can't get married. Think really hard about that........you can't marry the person you love. Wouldn't you feel outraged? Hurt? Demeaned? Feel less than a second class citizen? I would.

I want to take to the streets but I am ashamed to admit that I get caught up in the logistics of whose going to watch my kids while I am in jail. And honestly I don't want my kids around those hateful, ignorant Prop. 8 supporters. They frighten me, so I am sure they would frighten my kids.

This is the part of that article that gave me hope:

While some police officers kept watch from the outside of the protest circle, about 10 officers were positioned inside. Each of those 10 officers are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, said Lt. Lea Militello of the Tenderloin Station.


"Absolutely it affects me. I got married in October," she said.


Police Sgt. Carl Tennenbaum said the officers on the scene ranged from gay to conservative, and many had to say they had "mixed feelings would be putting it mildly." However, he said, "You just have to set the issues aside and do your job."

Maybe when supporters of Prop. 8 see that this truly affects "normal" citizens like police officers, they will begin to change their minds. I say this because I am under the impression that many supporters of this hateful legislation have only experienced stereotypes of homosexuals. They are not aware that gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgender people come from every walk of life. So I believe we will have a chance to put this on the ballot again and make justice and equality for everyone.



Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A Weekly Weight Watcher's Menu

Ok so I am trying to get back on the Weight Watchers wagon this week due to some chick thinking I was pregnant last weekend.

I am proud of myself because I have been sticking to it, and I have been to the gym 3 days in a row. I will go ahead and post my menu for the whole week below. I will fill in the recipes later and tell you if they tasted good or not. According to Weight Watchers I am supposed to eat 23 points a day but I have 35 extra points a week to use and exercise gives you some extra points too.

Monday
Dinner (I already posted breakfast and lunch earlier in this week)
An indescribable chicken and veggie soup. It was like a Mexican Minestrone. It was based on Weight Watcher's 0 points veggie soup but I had to add chicken for my husband the carnivore and beans and rice for me. I cant' do their 0 points soup because I am hungry 5 minutes after eating it and then I get a headache. But with the chicken, beans and rice it only bumped up the soup to 2 points for a giant bowl.

Tuesday
Breakfast= 1 pancake with butter only and a banana= 4 points
Lunch= Leftover soup from Monday
Snack= whole wheat mini bagel with 2 Tbs. of Lite Veggie Cream cheese= 4 points (eaten before going to the gym)
Dinner= Grilled Teriyaki chicken, grilled asparagus, grilled pineapple and brown rice (I didn't grill the rice). I just dumped some Teriyaki sauce over some chicken breasts early in the morning and let it thaw throughout the day. (Ken's Teriyaki marinade is pretty tasty). I grilled the chicken for roughly 4-5 minutes per side, by then the coals had cooled down a little so the pound of very thin and trimmed asparagus took about 4 minutes a side. The pineapple rings (straight from a can with juice not heavy syrup) I grilled on the very outside of the grill and they take about 2 minutes per side. I put salt and pepper on the pineapple (don't knock it until you have tried it). The asparagus I just poured some more Teriyaki sauce over it and those spears were sooooo good! The brown rice was Success boil in the bag for 10 minutes brown rice.

I dumped a palm size piece of grilled chicken, a handful of asparagus, and 2 pineapple rings over a 1/2 cup of rice and it was only 6.5 points and it was filling. I may have had a couple of beers while watching American Idol too. *

Wednesday
Breakfast= scrambled egg white, fat-free cheese slice (on a sandwich ok but I wouldn't eat this straight), and a whole wheat english muffin= 3 points
Lunch= More of the same soup and 1/2 english muffin with f.f. cheese melted on it=3-4 points, leftover asparagus from last night=0 points and a skinny cow popsicle= 1 point (yum!!)
Dinner= Going out to P.F. Changs with a couple of my buddies tonight so I will be eating Chinese food and drinking beer. These 2 friends are skinny though so I most likely won't be pigging out.

Thursday
Breakfast= same sandwich from yesterday
Lunch= Black Bean soup, 2 cups= 2 points (3 cans of black beans 2 of them drained and 1 undrained, dumped into pot with a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup chicken broth, a pinch of anise seeds, a pinch of dried sage and salt and pepper to taste, and Tabasco to taste. Simmer and eat with 2 Tbs of Fat Free Sour Cream, good stuff!
Dinner= Skim milk mozzarella sandwich on whole wheat bread with roasted red pepper strips and 1 tsp. of Pesto. Salad with Italian dressing and steamed broccolli and zucchini. I will give you recipe and points tommorrow or Friday.

Friday
Breakfast= Mini whole wheat bagel with 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese and a cup of cantaloupe= 5 points
Lunch= More black bean soup
Dinner= Turkey burgers with minted yogurt cucumber dressing in whole wheat pitas. I will give points and recipes later when I figure it out.

Saturday
Breakfast= Sandwich, bagels or cereal= all of those are 3-4 points
Lunch= Soup if any is left or leftover turkey burgers or some kind of meat on a stick if we go to the Wind and Art Festival.
Dinner= I am trying to score a date with my husband if I can scrounge a babysitter. If I can't then I will might cook or not. If I cook I will make Tandoori chicken on the grill, with steamed broccoli, brown rice and pita bread. I will let you know.

Sunday
Breakfast= Same as Sat.
Lunch= Same as Sat. we don't know which day we are going to the Passing Wind and Fart Festival (I crack myself up)
Dinner= Same as Sat.

Monday
Breakfast=Same as Sunday
Lunch= Leftovers
Dinner= It's Memorial Day and points be damned! I am going to hit the gym all weekend so I can enjoy a good bbq!

Grilled beef burgers with all the fixings (mayo, catsup, mustard, horseradish, cheese, lettuce and grilled sweet red onions) on huge sourdough buns
French Fries
Hot dogs
Baked Beans
Strawberries with whipped cream
Lots of ice cold beer




* Look I don't mind telling you how many beers I drink, but there are some chicks who read this blog even though they don't like me. They come from an old mom's club I was a member of and I try not to give them too many things to talk about when it comes to my lifestyle choices. Of course it doesn't seem to occur to them that the wine and martinis they swill have more alcohol than my beers..........



Sunday, May 17, 2009

Something New

I am falling behind on my Weight Watcher recipes, sorry about that. It just got super busy around here. Well I am back on the wagon. Some chick thought I was pregnant this weekend, bitch.

I was at a bridal shower and I was making small talk with some very skinny moms and one of them said, "You look like you are pregnant.". WTF? No, seriously, What The Fuck?! I was stunned. I thought I looked pretty good too, a little bloated, but not enough to look pregnant.

So I need to get serious. I have a bacherlorette party to go to in a month. Thankfully that anorexic chick won't be there, but just in case she sees pictures of me from that weekend, I want her to say, "Oh shit I can't believe I thought she was pregnant! I am a truly horrible person and now I need to go eat a Double Whopper with cheese and maybe some onion rings too.".

So what I am going to do is post my meals for the entire week, with the points. And I will try to eat them too.

Monday, May 18th

1 cup Cheerios
1/2 cup 1% milk
sliced 1/2 a banana
At least 4 cups of coffee with 2 Tbs. of nonfat non-dairy Vanilla creamer
Points= 4

Ok so that's breakfast. I will post the rest of the meals as the day goes along. It's 10:14 pm here and I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. Wish me luck.

I don't need luck brushing my teeth, I mean good luck with sticking to a diet void of cheese and beer.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

More American Idol Critique

This is basically my American Idol comments left on another blog, copied and then pasted onto my own blog. This chick is really funny and does a live AI commentary.



You got me hooked. So here I am again. It's Tuesday night so I am a tad bit more sober than I would be on a Friday night. But when it comes to AI I believe me and you share a brain.

Michael Jackson......is that king of pop or pedophiles. He's 50 years old now you know.

So do I love Anoop because I grew up in the bay area with lots of Indians? He can shit on stage and it would make me smile. Anoop Dog. My first born's teacher is old school and when she talks about Native Americans (like at Thanksgiving) she knows she is supposed to call them that but she gets confused so she says Native American Indians.

Honestly I was kind of into the junk in your trunk look on Lil Rounds. I have a theory; she is a mother of 3 and I am a mother of 3, so I think she is wearing white pants on the show because she knows damn well that if she wore white pants at home somebody is going to wipe boogers on them.

Paula is even more loaded than usual.

LOL, P.Y.T. is one of my fave songs too (by Michael Jackson). The last part of the song was better than the first too. He's good but Jesus Freaks turn me off too.

Roughneck dude is just what this country needs in these hard economic times. Total propaganda. Cute kids though.

Jasmine may be a tranny but her eyelashes alone are more feminine than my whole body.

That marriage ain't going to last. That Kris Allen guy is going to fuck the first groupie to come on to him.

My husband almost shit his pants laughing that she sang at a Mexican Ikea. I will have to say she is my fave though. I love her "smoky" voice.

Hey Chica, I think they scrambled West coast/East coast singers because I got Anoop Dog earlier in the mix.

Jorge still has one eyebrow it's just thinner.

Rockin Robin.......seriously? WTF is she thinking? She is cute as the dickens but tonight she sucked dick.

Did I not tell you that Paula runs a blow dryer over her Oxycontin patch during the commercials?

I am not sure if you or me hate Adam more? I believe you are right, he is a cockroach and he is going to hang out way longer than he should.

I love Matt too!! The scarf can be too Yasir Arafat for me but I like him.

Alexis did awesome!!!! Her little shorts jumper was so Blondie circa 1978, very cute. Very naughty song and her daughter was super cute too.Why are they changing the rules? I am not smart enough to keep up with this.

Friday, December 26, 2008

More Mama Drama-The Consequence of Being a Smart-Ass

So I will briefly explain what is below. I blew up a mom's club. It was an awesome group of women and then it got too big and some not so awesome women joined and they were too easily offended. Below is an explanation of what went down. It is from my other blog that has more to do with me and my kids, this new blog is just for moms who don't have sticks up their asses. Below is some of history about how this new blog needs to exist.


October 2008


Oh will it ever end? So I wrote in an earlier post about the drama going on in my mom's club. Drama that is completely new to us as we grow larger and less intimate. I will be brief in my explanation of this new shitstorm that I have apparently caused.

My friend and former President of the moms club's husband is running for water management board, and I am not using any names here or real positions. So our club was running a poll and I made a joke saying that a poll was a great way to practice voting for next week and that we should vote No on 8, Yes on Obama and Yes on this woman's husband. So a new member I have never met or heard of, sent out an email saying that the mom's club is not a political club and that I need to keep my opinions to myself. So I felt bad because I am causing problems for my friend who is president, so I sent out a nice apology. That is the email directly below. Well a bunch of other moms sent me personal emails expressing disbelief that somebody could actually be offended so I wrote a fake letter just for them. That one is below the real one that I sent out.


Dear L and anyone I offended,

As a former member of the board, I am aware of the bylaws and you are right this is not a political club. By the way the bylaws are a great way to cure insomnia, just ask Madame President M. I know she has had to peruse them quite frequently in the past few weeks and I sincerely apologize to her for causing any problems with my previous email. I also apologize to you L. and anyone else that was offended.


L. since you are new I am sure we haven't met and you may not be aware that there was a punchline in that email. Our former Moms Club President's husband is running for the San Ramon Water Management Board. Though this role is important, it is politically benign and he is a super nice guy so I was offering my support. So when it comes to apologies, I don't apologize for saying vote for him. Unless of course your partner is running against him for same position and then I do apologize to you again.


L. I encourage you to participate at club events and then you can see that we are all friendly, but it's hard to tell that by emails sometimes unless you rely heavily on emoticons to express yourself. # : ) I did not make it to all of the events this week and if you were at the Halloween party this morning I am sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself, I was chasing my boys.


Welcome to the club,
Charlotte mother to:Michael 4 years old, Rebekah almost 3 years old and Jacob 19 months old


Below is the fake email that I only sent to a few people, it was just my way of venting.


Dear L. and any other bitch that bursts into tears when somebody looks at you cross-eyed,


As a former member of the board, a thankless job just like motherhood, I am completely aware that I was breaking one of our million bylaws. I have to admit I was fishing people like you out of the moms club population so when we do split off I know where not to go. I do apologize to M for causing her to have to deal with more whining that seems to never end from the likes of you. Thing is M is a big girl and will probably get over it loooong before you do.


L. , and you other bitches, since you are new we probably haven't met and if we have it will probably take me a year to remember your face since all the pot I smoked in an earlier life and the ravages of motherhood have left me short on braincells. It would also help though if you actually showed up to moms club events. Before having kids I was never in a club so I really don't understand the point of joining something and never showing up. (Well except for my old gym membership. )Unless you actually like to sit home in your p.j.s feeling sorry for yourself and sending out snotty emails, then by all means party on.

But actually we are really friendly in person, in fact if you showed up in your p.j.s nobody would really care, especially if you bring us cookies. In fact I went to a moms club event today, without showering and wearing one of my husband's shirts and people still talked to me. My kids looked gorgeous and we were out of the house socializing and that is what is most important.


If you and the other spazzes would come to stuff you would also maybe get some inside jokes because you would meet other moms and know who they are and that their husband was running for city stuff. I mean really if I didn't know my friend do you think I would give a flying fuck about the water management board?!


Ok really we had 4 events going on this week, you could at least go to 1! And don't fucking whine to me how hard it is to get out of the house, I am well aware of that. My morning started before the sun came up and before noon I had changed 4 diapers, fed 6 mammals if you include all my kids, me, my husband and the damn cat,made a sack lunch,dressed 2 kids and yelled at the other to dress himself, brushed their hair, took one kid to preschool while the other 2 tagged along, delivered a bale of hay and cheese and crackers to a moms club event and made sure my boys ate something besides cookies and cigarette butts, returned the bale of hay, got the van washed and vacuumed all the hay out, fed the boys lunch, dropped off son at school and picked up daughter, put her and younger brother down to nap, ate my lunch, and drank roughly 600 milligrams of caffiene. I dare you to whine to my face about how hard it is to get out of the house.



Welcome to the club,

Charlotte mother to:
Michael 4 years old honey moon baby, Rebekah almost 3 years old didn't use a condom or birth control after I stopped nursing, Jacob 19 months old was on the birth control pill for the first 7 weeks of his gestational life.


P.S..
L. you didn't tell us your political affiliation when you sent out your brief, albeit bitchy email, so I will just take a wild guess that you won't be needing any extra No On 8 signs from my front yard. Go ahead and call me a liberal queer loving fag hag, because I have been called worse. In fact if you have been in our moms club for awhile you would know that my 4 year old has been known to call me a poopy vagina.
Peace out.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A blog seperate from my family blog

I started this new blog because I feel responsible for blowing up my mom's club. Now it's cleaving into 2 groups and I am a member of neither! Me and my big mouth. The story is long and complicated, but funny in a squirmy-I-am-so-glad-I-am-not-her kind of way. I will get to that later.


When bitching and moaning about the fact that the newer members of my old mom's club were rather stodgy, I got so many emails and calls from friends in and out of that particular mom's club telling me that judgemental, prudish women were common! Really? And then I had to defend my old mom's club, saying, "Oh no we used to be really cool and mellow we just got too big. And then some conservative chicks joined and it went downhill.". But alot of mom's were adamant that the majority of women in any mom's club are stuck-up, prudish and just plain mean. How sad.


So 2 friends of mine started an informal group of moms and asked me to be an honorary "leader" since I am the one who started the need for a group of moms that aren't uptight. I also started this because I wanted a place where I could share stories, thoughts and activities of moms who don't get their panties in a bunch over nothing! So that's why I started this blog.

So let's see how this pans out.