1. NEO Moms promote a positive body image to their children.
2. NEO Moms get along with their parenting partner most of the time.
3. NEO Moms support a person's right to choose.
4. NEO Moms are patriotic.
5. NEO Moms like to party, laugh and just generally have a good time.
6. NEO Moms support, protect, and nurture their children.
7. NEO Moms expect their children to behave most of the time, especially in public.
8. NEO Moms take care of themselves.
9. NEO Moms have common sense priorities.
10. NEO Moms don't always follow the rules.
Ok so now I need to add some explanation to these rules.
1. Don't worry I don't expect you to feed your kids tofu and sprouts and make them do Yoga. What I mean by promoting a positive body image is don't be anorexic or obese. That's all. And I feel that I can speak with some authority on this issue because I have been both a size 16 and now I am somewhere between a 4 and a 6. But we all know women's clothing sizes are a scam so in reality I probably used to be a size 20 and now I am a size 8.
So what I am saying is that you just have to be as healthy as you can be for your kid's sake. Because if I didn't have kids I would be eating whatever I wanted and swilling alcohol and who knows what else. But now that I have 3 dependents I have to eat stuff like salad and get all gross and sweaty exercising. It's very important that I watch all 3 of them graduate college and of course my daughter will need me to take over all of her wedding planning.
2. I chose the term parenting partner because not all of us have a legal spouse. You may have a boyfriend or a lesbian lover or be single. I really don't care but my point was that you need to get along with them most of the time especially in front of your children. Domestic abuse is not cool.
3. Choice is important to me and to pretty much any mother who doesn't get offended easily. And I have a wide definition for rule #3. So I may lose some women with this, but I am including a woman's right to choose to terminate a pregnancy as a valid and respected choice.
I won't stop there though, a NEO Mom also respects a woman's right to breast-feed or not, to work or stay-at-home with the kids, to pierce their daughter's earrings or to circumcise their sons. It's really none of your damn business what other moms do if it is not hurting their child or your's. And real moms know this. A not easily offended mother knows that with every decision a mother makes, there are wakeful nights, and long discussions, and reading through baby books. It's never easy.
4. Ok so some of my friends are like WTF?! Yes that's right I am unapologetically patriotic and I think this is a very good rule. I get goose bumps and teary-eyed every time I hear the National Anthem. I love this country and it's people and it's founding prinicples. A lot of people think America sucks right now but it's our govt. that sucks not our people. So does patriotic mean you have to fly the flag in front of your house to be a NEO Mom? No, look at rule #3. Does this mean you can't burn the flag if you get pissed off? No, look at rule #3. Actually I think to deny somebody the right to burn the flag is very Un-American. But if you burn my flag I think you are an asshole. Of course I will fight for your right to be an asshole because that is the American Way.
5. So don't worry that you can't be a NEO Mom if you are in recovery. If I said you had to drink booze to be a cool mom then I would be like that jock in high school trying to get into your panties. No you don't have to drink, or whatever, but you do need to like at least cake or ice cream or chocolate and ,you realize life is way too short to not be able to laugh at least once a day.
6. This is kind of a no-brainer isn't it? Does this mean you can never yell at your kids or make mistakes? Shit I hope not! You just have to take a deep breath once in awhile and realize that you are all they have. You are mommy, the all powerful, and it is your job to protect, defend and nurture their little souls.
7. An adult woman is not afraid of a child. Even if that child is a criminally insane 3 year old. A competent mother expects their child to behave especially in public. But a NEO Mom expects only age appropriate behavior from their children. What I mean is that you can't take a 2 year old to a fancy restaurant and expect them to maintain, it's just not fair to all involved. Now if you are at a family pizza parlor, they are most likely going to be loud and squirmy but they still have to sit and eat some of their food and not throw most of it on the floor. I think that is reasonable.
I was at such an establishment recently and my 20 month old was boisterous and it was fine with me, he was eating his food and sitting for along time. This place has an arcade and a bar and is very loud and this one old man was actually giving my son dirty looks! Are you insane? This was not the place you take a date! So he was not a NEO Mom, he had no clue as to what a child's limits are. My 4 year old on the other hand was forced to sit and eat before he could play any arcade games, and he was ready to go out of his mind until I gave him the stink eye and that was it.
8. Sleep deprivation, stress, hormones, hunger. Those are 4 letter words when you are a mom. I know it's not always possible to take a nap but you have to eat, you have to breathe or you will lose it. I love those magazines that tell you to get a sitter and go get a massage.............well duh if we could we would right? How about locking yourself in the bathroom with a book and a glass of wine/beer? If you have toddlers like I do you know they are not going to get hurt because they will be on the other side of the door trying to get in. I just sit on the toilet and stare at their fingers as they slip them under the door and cry mommy. But for the safety of all I need a few minutes before I can open that door again.
9. This is another no-brainer. If you want a new pair of shoes and your kid is hungry..........the shoes can wait. Here is another analogy, what is more important dirty dishes or getting a 30 minute nap while you can? The nap wins everytime. You don't want to be yelling at your kids all of the time and seriously you will have tons of time to do dishes when they are in college. I live in a part of the country that has ants. This is what I do if I need sleep and I have dirty dishes. Pile them in the sink and then take dish soap and squirt it all the way around your sink, the ants will get lodged in the soap and die while you nap and then you can just wipe them up. Don't act all stuck-up and think I am gross, you know you are going to do it.
10. It's true, rules are for shitheads. These are more like guidelines or something amusing to read during the kids' naps.
Showing posts with label psycho chicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psycho chicks. Show all posts
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Beer and Politicians
I know most people think I am a crazy liberal. But I do have a fair criteria for picking politicians. Can I have a beer with them?
I could totally have a beer with Arnold, John McCain, Reagan, Nixon (ok the last 2 are dead). I used to think that I could have a beer with Palin, but then she started talking and I realized I would rather break a beer bottle on her face.
Tonight the Gubernatorial debates were televised. I tried, tried, tried to be neutral. But hands down I would much rather have a beer with Jerry Brown. Just for the record I did shake hands with him when I was a child. His hands are basketball player large and he fit both me and my brother's hand in his. He also told me I was pretty and since most of my childhood I was mistaken for a boy, even after I started wearing a bra, this went straight to my heart. Ok so let's put all the favoritism aside and look at Meg Whitman..........
So the bitch turned Ebay around , that's awesome. She can run a HUGE company, that's no joke, I get it. But her voting record in her own words is "atrocious". Belly up to my imaginary bar and it's acceptable if you wake up at the age of 23 years old and say, "Damn! I have had the priveledge of voting since I was 18 and I am such an asshole for not taking advantage of that. ". Belly up to my bar at the ripe old age of Meg Whitman and display her erratic voting record and announce you are running to be the Governor of California.......I will not buy you a drink.
I am getting tired so I need to cut this short. Meg Whitman has spent, so far, $71 million of her personal fortune on her campaign. Blink, blink, pace the room, go pee, open a beer and sit down and think.... how much is my personal fortune. I bet you anything your personal fortune does not have room for $71 million in disposable cash. If you are a good person your disposable cash would go towards our suffering public schools, if you are a semi-decent person that cash would go for plastic surgery and if you are struggling with morals, that amount of cash could buy a lot of hookers and crack.
And I am so open-minded that I realize hookers have got to pay their mortgage and crack dealers need to pay rent. But Meg Whitman does not deserve to be Governor of the state of California. And if I was a real writer I would not end with this paragraph...........but my cat is licking his ass within ear shot and I need to sign some permission slips and go to bed.
I could totally have a beer with Arnold, John McCain, Reagan, Nixon (ok the last 2 are dead). I used to think that I could have a beer with Palin, but then she started talking and I realized I would rather break a beer bottle on her face.
Tonight the Gubernatorial debates were televised. I tried, tried, tried to be neutral. But hands down I would much rather have a beer with Jerry Brown. Just for the record I did shake hands with him when I was a child. His hands are basketball player large and he fit both me and my brother's hand in his. He also told me I was pretty and since most of my childhood I was mistaken for a boy, even after I started wearing a bra, this went straight to my heart. Ok so let's put all the favoritism aside and look at Meg Whitman..........
So the bitch turned Ebay around , that's awesome. She can run a HUGE company, that's no joke, I get it. But her voting record in her own words is "atrocious". Belly up to my imaginary bar and it's acceptable if you wake up at the age of 23 years old and say, "Damn! I have had the priveledge of voting since I was 18 and I am such an asshole for not taking advantage of that. ". Belly up to my bar at the ripe old age of Meg Whitman and display her erratic voting record and announce you are running to be the Governor of California.......I will not buy you a drink.
I am getting tired so I need to cut this short. Meg Whitman has spent, so far, $71 million of her personal fortune on her campaign. Blink, blink, pace the room, go pee, open a beer and sit down and think.... how much is my personal fortune. I bet you anything your personal fortune does not have room for $71 million in disposable cash. If you are a good person your disposable cash would go towards our suffering public schools, if you are a semi-decent person that cash would go for plastic surgery and if you are struggling with morals, that amount of cash could buy a lot of hookers and crack.
And I am so open-minded that I realize hookers have got to pay their mortgage and crack dealers need to pay rent. But Meg Whitman does not deserve to be Governor of the state of California. And if I was a real writer I would not end with this paragraph...........but my cat is licking his ass within ear shot and I need to sign some permission slips and go to bed.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Hurricane Katrina 5 years later
I remember that August well. My oldest was 15 months old and I was hugely pregnant with my daughter. Mike was playing with a Hot Wheels track and I was watching super hottie Anderson Cooper on CNN while folding laundry.
That was Anderson Cooper's epic coverage of the Super Dome in New Orleans, with all the stranded victims of Hurricane Katrina. As he talked to the camera a hugely pregnant woman shuffled behind him. I gasped. Here I am cool, comfortable, safe and well-fed watching a woman as pregnant as me sweating, with no access to food or water. I started bawling.
Michael is the emotional barometer in our home and he was immediately concerned. Just then my husband opened our front door which faced our living room. And this is where it gets funny. My dear husband saw his crying pregnant wife, holding his son and Erik actually took one step backwards. He stood on the threshold of our home, one foot in and one foot out, and stole a quick glance over his shoulder. He was thinking of making a run for it!! Erik was struggling hard to think what he had done to make me cry and how he could escape punishment. What a chicken.
I explained to him why I was crying, and it wasn't until he realized he was not guilty of anything that he felt safe walking into the house and shutting our front door. In his defense I was a little psycho when I was pregnant.
Now I have a 6 year old, an almost 5 year old and a 3 year old. I am so happy to not be pregnant during another summer! But I still wonder about that other pregnant woman. Did she and her baby make it? Is her child going to start Kindergarten next year like my daughter Bekah? Does she, or did she have more kids? Does she still live in New Orleans? I can only pray that she is safe now.
That was Anderson Cooper's epic coverage of the Super Dome in New Orleans, with all the stranded victims of Hurricane Katrina. As he talked to the camera a hugely pregnant woman shuffled behind him. I gasped. Here I am cool, comfortable, safe and well-fed watching a woman as pregnant as me sweating, with no access to food or water. I started bawling.
Michael is the emotional barometer in our home and he was immediately concerned. Just then my husband opened our front door which faced our living room. And this is where it gets funny. My dear husband saw his crying pregnant wife, holding his son and Erik actually took one step backwards. He stood on the threshold of our home, one foot in and one foot out, and stole a quick glance over his shoulder. He was thinking of making a run for it!! Erik was struggling hard to think what he had done to make me cry and how he could escape punishment. What a chicken.
I explained to him why I was crying, and it wasn't until he realized he was not guilty of anything that he felt safe walking into the house and shutting our front door. In his defense I was a little psycho when I was pregnant.
Now I have a 6 year old, an almost 5 year old and a 3 year old. I am so happy to not be pregnant during another summer! But I still wonder about that other pregnant woman. Did she and her baby make it? Is her child going to start Kindergarten next year like my daughter Bekah? Does she, or did she have more kids? Does she still live in New Orleans? I can only pray that she is safe now.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Summer is for Re-runs
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I finally made it back to my blog only to release a re-run. In my defense I gotta go bake a cake for a bbq and this particular entry makes me laugh.
My brother Bill, pictured above, found a list of, "...things women wish men knew." and he decided to add his own commentary. It's hilarious but I still had to edit some of it because it did get pretty nasty. My brother's comments are the one's labeled "dude".
I finally made it back to my blog only to release a re-run. In my defense I gotta go bake a cake for a bbq and this particular entry makes me laugh.
My brother Bill, pictured above, found a list of, "...things women wish men knew." and he decided to add his own commentary. It's hilarious but I still had to edit some of it because it did get pretty nasty. My brother's comments are the one's labeled "dude".
1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
Dude; Take what you can fucking get, if I'm saying it, it counts, unless I'm lying to you, which is gonna be a lot if you keep saying stupid shit like that.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
Dude: Just when the fuck did you become an expert on real men? You cry
during Grey's anatomy and sit when peeing, I don't give a fuck if Idrive a dumptruck and park it on your lawn or a vespa and do race tracks in your driveway, I am the judge of what a real man is, and while were on that subject your brother is a putz.
3. I will leave if you lie.
Dude. Pack your shit.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
Dude. I am never cute and never describe me as such. And what the fuck,….make up your mind do you want to date a real man or a twelve year old from some perverse little league.
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
Dude. I mean honestly, what the fuck do I even say to that, keep that shit to yourself.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
Dude. I love it when you blow me after the Chargers lose.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
Dude. Remember after we spent the holidays at your mom's house and you asked me that question and I said you looked plump? Cuz I remember,the neighbors remember, I think the goddamn dog remembers. You are wrong, Fine is a wholly appropriate response.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
Dude ummmm……. Yup ditto here.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
Dude see answer to question # 3
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
Dude. When did I email you?
11. I expect you to call me.
D. You also expect me to be nice to your alcoholic father and your enabling neurotic mother, I won't even go into your dipshit borrowing money putz brother, so calling you is the least of my worries but thanks for bringing it up.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
Dude. You can tell me what to wear at our wedding and any funerals I attend. Short of that just compliment me on my daring sense of style and be happy I deal with your shit.
13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
Dude. You go to the pisser in pre-planned groups, and the only independent chick in history I can think of was Amelia Aerhart and you see where that got her.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
Dude. You're not Katie Holmes and I'm not a Scientoligist so let's pull the reality train over and get you a ticket.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
Dude. I aint got no problem tongue whipping the Ham wallet but I would rather whack off with a hand full of broken glass then ever go shoe shopping with you again.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
Dude. Check, I will ignore you by going to Déjà vu (strip club in San Diego) until you are feeling more into it.
17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm . . . a.) . . . having a fat day. b.) . . . not feeling "connected" to you. c.) . . . blackmailing you to get something I want.
Dude. You are using sex to get something you want they have a name for that and that name is whore.
19. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
Dude. Unless by nothing you mean G'day Mate.
20. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
Dude So you have a secret sexual fantasy about the Unabomber, JesusChrist what else.
21. You should never tell me what to do.
Dude. If I didn't tell you what to do you would be sitting in your room late for work in your underwear trying to figure out how to use the goddamn alarm clock.
22. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
Dude This is the least crazy thing you have said all day.
23. . I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
Dude. I hold your hand because if I didn't you would walk straight into oncoming traffic and fucking die, that is a semi truck, the guy driving it is on crack, he will kill you, wake up.
24. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
Dude. Sssshhh be quiet there about to say the score on the Chargers game.
25. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
Dude. If I truly fuck up I will get you flowers, if the surf was really good though I will probably just get them from the grocery store.
26. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you—and for you
to recognize this.
Dude. When I first moved to Hawaii I bought a 69 ford econoline van for 300 hundred dollars, it was awesome it could fit ten surfboards, had three on the tree and a max speed of 60 mph downhill in neutral, I can honestly say it was the greatest vehicle purchase of my life. Wait what was the question again.
27. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking.
Dude. you get like this for four days every month call me I'll be atDéjà vu again.
28. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
Dude. O fucking kay this is what I want you to do, write down exactly what you just said and then read it out loud to yourself. If that does not sound like absolute gibberish I will let you buy me one complete getup from urban outfitters.
29. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months,earns major bonus points.
Dude. Not going to Thailand on a cocaine fueled hooker binge should earn me major bonus points, and by the way I have no idea when my own birthday is let alone anniversaries you should probably get me a calendar.
30. I love it when you're sweaty.
Dude. But you don't like it when I have body odor, you are a fucking walking contradiction.
31. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
Dude. Fair enough.
32. I like porn.
D. You like passionate late night cinemax porn. I like Max Hardcore porn, there is a colossal difference.
33. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
Dude. Strange enough that is where I keep my wallet.
34. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
Dude. I talked dirty to you and I thought you were gonna call the cops,you talked dirty to me and I couldn't stop laughing, how about we just watch that Max Hardcore I was talking about earlier.
35. I remember everything about our relationship.
Dude. All in all I'll give you that one.
36.You should know all this and more without my telling you.
Dude. You just had to end on a crazy note.
Monday, May 10, 2010
The Ugly Voice
Disclaimer: I do not want pity or praise. I just want you to read this and comment. I want a yes or no answer, and/or feedback.
I am writing this because after almost 40 years on the planet I have finally realized I am not that unique. I do not have experiences or thoughts that are singularly mine. So I just want to know if this happens to you?
Every time I go to the gym I encounter major resistance.....from myself. And when I am on a roll I go to the gym 4 days a week. But the whole time I am getting ready, the whole way there and the whole damn time I am working out, there is an ugly voice in my head. I have to ignore and fight this voice, and she is a bitch!! This is what she says:
"Why are you going to the gym when you should be cleaning your house?"
"Too bad you don't have cuter work-out clothes."
"You should pack healthier snacks for your kids."
"Why bother going to the gym you barely have enough time to work-out?"
"You should shower before you go because you smell/your hair is frizzy/your face is oily."
Once I am at the gym she gets really mean:
"Stop running you are sweating/jiggling/your stomach is showing/you have camel toe."
"You can only run 6 miles per hour? That's pathetic."
"Oh great there is that super skinny chick who has more kids than you do."
"Why are you doing sit-ups when your favorite beverage is beer?"
"Do you think that doing sit-ups is really going to get rid of the flabby tummy and stretch-marks?"
"Lifting weights is not going to hide the fact that you have breastfed 3 kids."
"Your husband is working his ass off and you are in the hot tub reading a book....just because it's a parenting book doesn't make it better."
"Quit the gym and save the cash for a makeover."
"Well at least you don't weigh 300 pounds like that woman over there."
And she doesn't shut her trap until I am actually in the shower. Once the endorphins kick in from the exercise she finally shuts the fuck up. The gym is not the only place she shows up to talk shit to me, but that's the only place where she has a megaphone.
Does this happen to anybody else?
I am writing this because after almost 40 years on the planet I have finally realized I am not that unique. I do not have experiences or thoughts that are singularly mine. So I just want to know if this happens to you?
Every time I go to the gym I encounter major resistance.....from myself. And when I am on a roll I go to the gym 4 days a week. But the whole time I am getting ready, the whole way there and the whole damn time I am working out, there is an ugly voice in my head. I have to ignore and fight this voice, and she is a bitch!! This is what she says:
"Why are you going to the gym when you should be cleaning your house?"
"Too bad you don't have cuter work-out clothes."
"You should pack healthier snacks for your kids."
"Why bother going to the gym you barely have enough time to work-out?"
"You should shower before you go because you smell/your hair is frizzy/your face is oily."
Once I am at the gym she gets really mean:
"Stop running you are sweating/jiggling/your stomach is showing/you have camel toe."
"You can only run 6 miles per hour? That's pathetic."
"Oh great there is that super skinny chick who has more kids than you do."
"Why are you doing sit-ups when your favorite beverage is beer?"
"Do you think that doing sit-ups is really going to get rid of the flabby tummy and stretch-marks?"
"Lifting weights is not going to hide the fact that you have breastfed 3 kids."
"Your husband is working his ass off and you are in the hot tub reading a book....just because it's a parenting book doesn't make it better."
"Quit the gym and save the cash for a makeover."
"Well at least you don't weigh 300 pounds like that woman over there."
And she doesn't shut her trap until I am actually in the shower. Once the endorphins kick in from the exercise she finally shuts the fuck up. The gym is not the only place she shows up to talk shit to me, but that's the only place where she has a megaphone.
Does this happen to anybody else?
Monday, January 4, 2010
2009 Year in Review, for the Not Easily Offended Part 2
March 2009
*I posted a few Weight Watchers recipes.
*I came clean about the post-partum depression I had after weaning Jake.
*I wrote a lot of shit about American Idol and the only reason I am going to watch American Idol this year is because Ellen Degeneres will be a judge. I think that is Fox's apology to gay people for Adam Lambert not winning last season.
* I wrote a post about Recession Proof Jobs in March of 2009 and made a comment about giving my husband a well-earned blow job. Months later his 83 year old grandmother told me she read that and couldn't sleep that whole night. I was/am mortified.
* I received the most comments I have ever received after I grumbled about kids on leashes.
*Four Oakland, Ca. police officers were shot down by an asshole felon.
April 2009
*My brother and his wife came to visit and brought Swine Flu with them. OK, actually I don't know if it was really swine flu but we all got really sick after they left. Everyone had it including the grandparents, it was brutal.
*But the visit overall was awesome and we had a great time!! And it was nice that he came home alive from Iraq.
*Sandra Cantu and Melissa Huckaby, tragic.
* I got published again on an online newspaper.
* I got on CBS 5 Eye On Blogs
I am going to have to finish this later.
*I posted a few Weight Watchers recipes.
*I came clean about the post-partum depression I had after weaning Jake.
*I wrote a lot of shit about American Idol and the only reason I am going to watch American Idol this year is because Ellen Degeneres will be a judge. I think that is Fox's apology to gay people for Adam Lambert not winning last season.
* I wrote a post about Recession Proof Jobs in March of 2009 and made a comment about giving my husband a well-earned blow job. Months later his 83 year old grandmother told me she read that and couldn't sleep that whole night. I was/am mortified.
* I received the most comments I have ever received after I grumbled about kids on leashes.
*Four Oakland, Ca. police officers were shot down by an asshole felon.
April 2009
*My brother and his wife came to visit and brought Swine Flu with them. OK, actually I don't know if it was really swine flu but we all got really sick after they left. Everyone had it including the grandparents, it was brutal.
*But the visit overall was awesome and we had a great time!! And it was nice that he came home alive from Iraq.
*Sandra Cantu and Melissa Huckaby, tragic.
* I got published again on an online newspaper.
* I got on CBS 5 Eye On Blogs
I am going to have to finish this later.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Almost 1 year Blog Birthday
So N.E.O. Moms is almost a year old!! I am re-posting a blog post from my first blog. The below post is basically a precursor of N.E.O. Moms. It explains some of the drama that led to me creating a forum for moms/women/parents who don't get offended easily by the realities of life. This is review for long-term followers and necessary information for new followers.
So I am in a moms club, that has nothing to do with that other one, and have been since Mike was 6 months old. The camaraderie and support have been a lifesaver. In the 3 and a 1/2 years that I have been a member we have been mostly free of any controversy, until now. As the population of our club increases, so does the variety of personalities. We communicate by an email group, so of course the amount of emails have increased as well. This is where the conflict lies. Some of the moms were annoyed by the amount of emails,and then offended by content. This prompted our dear leader to send out an email that was basically a copy and paste of the bylaws. She is a cool chick and she is just fulfilling one of the roles of her position.
Well this prompted me, and some of my more vociferous friends, to wonder if it was something in particular that we wrote that provoked this smack down. Was it the email thread about penis water bottles, sex in exotic places, discarded foreskins or alcohol consumption, we will never know. So then everyone was on eggshells, sending out emails with disclaimers stating, I hope this is ok, I hope nobody is offended, I hope this is within our bylaws. I of course was one of those people and I sent it out tongue and cheek thinking this silliness would blow over and we could get back to the camraderie I thought all of us were enjoying. Wrong. I received a personal email back setting my ass straight.
This email was long, and swaddled in phrases of support for fellow moms, like respecting other mother's time and being sensitive to other mom's thresholds of offensiveness. But none of this could hide the underlying tone of condescension and control. I don't do condescending or authority very well. After reading this email I tried to sleep on it but that didn't work. I sent it to some very close friends to get feedback and that didn't quell my anger either. Then I sent out a smartass remark about mom's being too tired to use the delete button and that started a shit storm.
An onslaught of emails were posted by women whining about having to wade through a barrage of emails they found to be frivolous and inappropriate. They complained about their precious morning and afternoons being wasted because they had to read all these offensive emails. What ever happened to the delete buttons on their computers? When I am confronted by a boring thread of emails, I just delete them, no big deal.
As for offensiveness, this really gets my goat. We are mothers, we are women, we are adults. To paraphrase my friend Barb, you have to have sex to be a mother, it's kind of a prerequisite of a mom's club. So even if you adopted your child or used IVF, it's most likely that you at one point had sex and figured out it wasn't working like you planned. Even if you are a lesbian mother and have never had sex with a man, you at some point probably had sex with your partner. Considering the level of alarm that some of the mothers have expressed about the content of emails and conversations at our mom's night outs, I am thinking that their children are a result of virgin births or sex through a hole in a sheet. This is just my opinion of course.
Yes you heard right somebody complained about the adult conversations at one of our recent mom's nights out, that has nothing to do with any other mom's night out. Once a month we have a mom's night out event, that has nothing to do with any other event, with no children allowed, unless you are nursing. At the last event no children were present and somebody actually complained that we were talking about sex. If there are no children present then adult conversation is not inappropriate. Adult conversation should not be censored from email as well because it is assumed that a child is not reading an adult's emails. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure their children are not subjected to anything beyond their comprehension.
I am not alone in my opinion. I have received personal emails from women not easily offended, who agree with me and are dismayed by the path our club is taking. What is appropriate for adults is not appropriate for children. A successful mother's club realizes that distinction. What the new moms have yet to learn is that you can love and serve your children without sacrificing yourself. It is totally ok for you to be your true self and positively channel that into your childrearing practices. Otherwise you are going to be left alone with your husband, and you are going to be nothing but a shell. I am not talking about a pretty abalone shell, I am talking about an empty snail shell, with cobwebs.
It is absolutely fine for you to still hold onto the interests you had before becoming a parent. You may have to get a sitter to participate in them or even delay those activities for a few years, but you should not give them up. I enjoy cooking, dining out and reading. I can cook for guests while they watch my kids and keep them out of the kitchen. I get a sitter to dine out and I read before bed when my kids are asleep. What I really miss is listening to classical music and doing jigsaw puzzles. I know, I know, I am a closet nerd. I can put on classical music but my kids would eat and/or destroy a jigsaw puzzle so I don't even try. We are working up to camping and hiking. My point is that you don't have to completely give up who you are to be a good mom.
So is this division in the mom's club, different from that other mom's club, from new, inexperienced moms or is it a deeper division of philosophy? I recently went to a new member's house and saw a giant cross hanging on her wall. If I was a vampire or a werewolf, I would not feel safe in this neighborhood. As a Jew, I felt a little squirmy. I had a paranoid premonition that things in the mom's club were gonna change. Turns out I wasn't so paranoid. I really hope that is not it. If this sudden upheaval and outrage over behavior, we have grown accustomed to, is because of an infiltration of conservative christians, then I hope they join a mom's club in their church or I will just hit the road myself.
Well I think I have stirred up enough shit with this particular blog posting, what do you think? I need to watch t.v. with my husband now and go to bed soon.
So I am in a moms club, that has nothing to do with that other one, and have been since Mike was 6 months old. The camaraderie and support have been a lifesaver. In the 3 and a 1/2 years that I have been a member we have been mostly free of any controversy, until now. As the population of our club increases, so does the variety of personalities. We communicate by an email group, so of course the amount of emails have increased as well. This is where the conflict lies. Some of the moms were annoyed by the amount of emails,and then offended by content. This prompted our dear leader to send out an email that was basically a copy and paste of the bylaws. She is a cool chick and she is just fulfilling one of the roles of her position.
Well this prompted me, and some of my more vociferous friends, to wonder if it was something in particular that we wrote that provoked this smack down. Was it the email thread about penis water bottles, sex in exotic places, discarded foreskins or alcohol consumption, we will never know. So then everyone was on eggshells, sending out emails with disclaimers stating, I hope this is ok, I hope nobody is offended, I hope this is within our bylaws. I of course was one of those people and I sent it out tongue and cheek thinking this silliness would blow over and we could get back to the camraderie I thought all of us were enjoying. Wrong. I received a personal email back setting my ass straight.
This email was long, and swaddled in phrases of support for fellow moms, like respecting other mother's time and being sensitive to other mom's thresholds of offensiveness. But none of this could hide the underlying tone of condescension and control. I don't do condescending or authority very well. After reading this email I tried to sleep on it but that didn't work. I sent it to some very close friends to get feedback and that didn't quell my anger either. Then I sent out a smartass remark about mom's being too tired to use the delete button and that started a shit storm.
An onslaught of emails were posted by women whining about having to wade through a barrage of emails they found to be frivolous and inappropriate. They complained about their precious morning and afternoons being wasted because they had to read all these offensive emails. What ever happened to the delete buttons on their computers? When I am confronted by a boring thread of emails, I just delete them, no big deal.
As for offensiveness, this really gets my goat. We are mothers, we are women, we are adults. To paraphrase my friend Barb, you have to have sex to be a mother, it's kind of a prerequisite of a mom's club. So even if you adopted your child or used IVF, it's most likely that you at one point had sex and figured out it wasn't working like you planned. Even if you are a lesbian mother and have never had sex with a man, you at some point probably had sex with your partner. Considering the level of alarm that some of the mothers have expressed about the content of emails and conversations at our mom's night outs, I am thinking that their children are a result of virgin births or sex through a hole in a sheet. This is just my opinion of course.
Yes you heard right somebody complained about the adult conversations at one of our recent mom's nights out, that has nothing to do with any other mom's night out. Once a month we have a mom's night out event, that has nothing to do with any other event, with no children allowed, unless you are nursing. At the last event no children were present and somebody actually complained that we were talking about sex. If there are no children present then adult conversation is not inappropriate. Adult conversation should not be censored from email as well because it is assumed that a child is not reading an adult's emails. It is a parent's responsibility to make sure their children are not subjected to anything beyond their comprehension.
I am not alone in my opinion. I have received personal emails from women not easily offended, who agree with me and are dismayed by the path our club is taking. What is appropriate for adults is not appropriate for children. A successful mother's club realizes that distinction. What the new moms have yet to learn is that you can love and serve your children without sacrificing yourself. It is totally ok for you to be your true self and positively channel that into your childrearing practices. Otherwise you are going to be left alone with your husband, and you are going to be nothing but a shell. I am not talking about a pretty abalone shell, I am talking about an empty snail shell, with cobwebs.
It is absolutely fine for you to still hold onto the interests you had before becoming a parent. You may have to get a sitter to participate in them or even delay those activities for a few years, but you should not give them up. I enjoy cooking, dining out and reading. I can cook for guests while they watch my kids and keep them out of the kitchen. I get a sitter to dine out and I read before bed when my kids are asleep. What I really miss is listening to classical music and doing jigsaw puzzles. I know, I know, I am a closet nerd. I can put on classical music but my kids would eat and/or destroy a jigsaw puzzle so I don't even try. We are working up to camping and hiking. My point is that you don't have to completely give up who you are to be a good mom.
So is this division in the mom's club, different from that other mom's club, from new, inexperienced moms or is it a deeper division of philosophy? I recently went to a new member's house and saw a giant cross hanging on her wall. If I was a vampire or a werewolf, I would not feel safe in this neighborhood. As a Jew, I felt a little squirmy. I had a paranoid premonition that things in the mom's club were gonna change. Turns out I wasn't so paranoid. I really hope that is not it. If this sudden upheaval and outrage over behavior, we have grown accustomed to, is because of an infiltration of conservative christians, then I hope they join a mom's club in their church or I will just hit the road myself.
Well I think I have stirred up enough shit with this particular blog posting, what do you think? I need to watch t.v. with my husband now and go to bed soon.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Ladybugs and Plagirism
Yesterday I was sitting around in my pajamas feeling sorry for myself when my phone rang. It was a dear friend telling me she didn't want to disturb me but that she did leave a treat on my doorstep. And then I started crying, again. Damn I hate crying. My usual moods run the gamut from happy, feisty, grumpy, sleepy, buzzed and hungry, but not weepy. I don't do weepy!
It's this fucking steroid Prednisone I am on for the next month. Like clockwork 30 minutes after I take it I start crying. For no reason! It's also making me short of breath, nauseous,sweaty and makes my legs and feet sore. So I am just limping around at home all sweaty and crying. My poor kids and husband, who the hell wants to live with that?
Well 30 minutes after I took my meds yesterday my friend showed up with her nice card and banana bread, so of course I started crying. I am now going to plagiarize what she wrote because it was directed not just at me but to all moms. I will tell you the author's name is Julie. But since I was born in 1970 pretty much all of my friends are named Julie, Stephanie, Megan, Michelle, Jennifer and a few Yvettes. So that really doesn't give you much of a clue.
The pretty card she gave me had some glittery ladybugs on it:
"I think it's time you take a second for yourself. I'm sure this flare-up was scary and humbling- health issues always are- so I hope that when (if?) you have a quiet moment you can reflect back on it and see it as a kind of wake-up call. It's so easy as mothers and wives to put ourselves on the back burner, and before you know it, the shit has really hit the fan! Please, next time you are in pain, don't try to hide it and ignore it. listen to your body, and lean a little on your support system when you need it- you clearly have an army of people around you who love you.
I hope you see this as helpful, not preachy. I adore you and want only the very best for you.
Take Care of Yourself!"
I promise I will and I want everyone else to do likewise.
I showed Erik that card last night and he totally agreed and thought it was very sweet. He told me he feels bad that I should have to cook 3 different kinds of foods every night: his dinner, my dinner if I even feel like eating, and then the kids' dinner. So I told him that some of my friends had volunteered to bring more meals and that I can ask if those are still available. Now we have 6 days of meals coming, Yay!!
I am also lettting the house go a little bit. When I get all sweaty, short of breath and start limping then I get to sit guilt free.
My oldest is having issues at school and I am not sure if he really is crying for me because he thinks I am going back to the hospital or if he is just milking it. My 5 year old is highly intelligent and OVERLY DRAMATIC. I am trying to toe the line of extra love and extra smackdown. He dropped an F bomb in class this week, but at least he used it in a sentence............. I sent an email to his teacher apologizing and asking for any brilliant ideas, she's a smart cookie so I can use her as a resource for sure. My other 2 monkeys are just more lovey dovey than usual, and that's totally fine.
And get this! My gorgeous husband has decided that waiting 3 more years for another vacation is absurb and not heathy for us as individuals, a couple and a family. I hid my sickness because I didn't want to ruin my brother's wedding and didn't want any attention on me. Fail!! So Erik wants me to book a weeklong family vacation in Februrary so that we have something to look forward to! I am on it! And Auntie M has forbidden me to take my kids to Disneyland without her. She told me she would be heartbroken and she wants to see their faces the first time they go. So we have to get planning on a early summer Disneyland trip! I haven't been to Disneyland in 26 years!!
Ok so this present nausea and sweating jag has passed and I need to clean the kitchen a little bit.
It's this fucking steroid Prednisone I am on for the next month. Like clockwork 30 minutes after I take it I start crying. For no reason! It's also making me short of breath, nauseous,sweaty and makes my legs and feet sore. So I am just limping around at home all sweaty and crying. My poor kids and husband, who the hell wants to live with that?
Well 30 minutes after I took my meds yesterday my friend showed up with her nice card and banana bread, so of course I started crying. I am now going to plagiarize what she wrote because it was directed not just at me but to all moms. I will tell you the author's name is Julie. But since I was born in 1970 pretty much all of my friends are named Julie, Stephanie, Megan, Michelle, Jennifer and a few Yvettes. So that really doesn't give you much of a clue.
The pretty card she gave me had some glittery ladybugs on it:
"I think it's time you take a second for yourself. I'm sure this flare-up was scary and humbling- health issues always are- so I hope that when (if?) you have a quiet moment you can reflect back on it and see it as a kind of wake-up call. It's so easy as mothers and wives to put ourselves on the back burner, and before you know it, the shit has really hit the fan! Please, next time you are in pain, don't try to hide it and ignore it. listen to your body, and lean a little on your support system when you need it- you clearly have an army of people around you who love you.
I hope you see this as helpful, not preachy. I adore you and want only the very best for you.
Take Care of Yourself!"
I promise I will and I want everyone else to do likewise.
I showed Erik that card last night and he totally agreed and thought it was very sweet. He told me he feels bad that I should have to cook 3 different kinds of foods every night: his dinner, my dinner if I even feel like eating, and then the kids' dinner. So I told him that some of my friends had volunteered to bring more meals and that I can ask if those are still available. Now we have 6 days of meals coming, Yay!!
I am also lettting the house go a little bit. When I get all sweaty, short of breath and start limping then I get to sit guilt free.
My oldest is having issues at school and I am not sure if he really is crying for me because he thinks I am going back to the hospital or if he is just milking it. My 5 year old is highly intelligent and OVERLY DRAMATIC. I am trying to toe the line of extra love and extra smackdown. He dropped an F bomb in class this week, but at least he used it in a sentence............. I sent an email to his teacher apologizing and asking for any brilliant ideas, she's a smart cookie so I can use her as a resource for sure. My other 2 monkeys are just more lovey dovey than usual, and that's totally fine.
And get this! My gorgeous husband has decided that waiting 3 more years for another vacation is absurb and not heathy for us as individuals, a couple and a family. I hid my sickness because I didn't want to ruin my brother's wedding and didn't want any attention on me. Fail!! So Erik wants me to book a weeklong family vacation in Februrary so that we have something to look forward to! I am on it! And Auntie M has forbidden me to take my kids to Disneyland without her. She told me she would be heartbroken and she wants to see their faces the first time they go. So we have to get planning on a early summer Disneyland trip! I haven't been to Disneyland in 26 years!!
Ok so this present nausea and sweating jag has passed and I need to clean the kitchen a little bit.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Endometrial Ablation
That's what I had done yesterday, Friday July 31st. The brand name for it is called Novasure. Go to the website and you can read glowing testimonials from women who no longer have periods. And I am going to be one of them.
Most of my readers are women so I am just going to forge ahead here with the gory details. My periods were bad since the first one at age 12. So eventually I went on the pill and it controlled it nicely and that was that. Then 2 months before my wedding I go off the pill in anticipation of getting pregnant and I had some cramping but nothing too crazy.
Well I got pregnant on my honeymoon, and then again when Mike was 9 months old and then I got pregnant again when Bekah was about 7 months old. Basically for 3 years I was pregnant or nursing and did not have a period at all. Once I weaned Jake my monthly visitor came back riding a Harley, fully armed, and with a bitchy attitude.
My very first period came on a weekend to Las Vegas (I told you she was a bitch), and I was hit with a menstrual cramp so hard that I couldn't walk. I stopped in the middle of the casino floor and pretended to be searching through my purse for lipgloss. For anyone who has been in labor we are talking 5-6 cm. dilation with no epidural, that's how bad it hurt. I prayed that was just because it was my first cycle in 3 years.
Nope a few months later it continued and one Saturday morning while I was doubled over with cramps and irrationally yelling at my husband, he shot back, "You don't have to live like this and I don't want to live like this. You need to go see your OB. I wish I had an excuse to be a complete pyscho once a month.". He was forgiven for the last remark because he took the kids to the park so I could nap.
So I saw my nurse practioner who agreed that I am getting too old to go back on the pill and with a family history of strokes, that it's generally not a great idea. But before we went for the Novasure we decided to try large doses of naproxen (Aleve) 2 days before my period starts and continue it for 3 more days. And she prescribed some narcotics as well.
Genius! This method actually worked for a couple of months and I didn't even need the Darvocet. But then my cycle started to become irregular so I wasn't able to take the naproxen 2 days beforehand because I didn't know when it was going to start. Then the vomiting started. Then my cycle started to last 8-10 days leaving not too many good days out of the month to enjoy my life. I was ruining sheets and panties and losing sleep due to the painful cramping. I am sure you can figure out what a lovely mood this left me in and how parenting 3 small kids was a complete joy when you feel like Hell.
A recent blood test came back borderline anemic, and that made total sense, I was sooo tired. Finally I got an appointment with my busy OB and he cut me off in mid-sentence, "You really don't have to sell me on this, you are the perfect candidate for this procedure. You have 3 healthy kids, you are almost 40 years old, your body is healthy and your husband has had a vasectomy. Are you busy this Friday?". I was completely ecstatic!! That means for my upcoming 20 year high school reunion and my brother's wedding in September I would not be having a period!! Sign me up!
On my way home from that consultation appointment last Tuesday I was reminded of a friend whose mother had a full hysterectomy and asked her surgeon for her uterus. She took it home in a jar and I guess had a nice ceremony and buried it. I dug deep down into my heart but, I just could not dredge up the same feelings of sentiment towards my uterus.
I don't view this as a death, it's more like a divorce. We had an active 26 year relationship where she cradled 3 gorgeous babies for me. But then she turned into an unpredictable, belligerent hag and it was better for everyone to go our separate ways.
Most of my readers are women so I am just going to forge ahead here with the gory details. My periods were bad since the first one at age 12. So eventually I went on the pill and it controlled it nicely and that was that. Then 2 months before my wedding I go off the pill in anticipation of getting pregnant and I had some cramping but nothing too crazy.
Well I got pregnant on my honeymoon, and then again when Mike was 9 months old and then I got pregnant again when Bekah was about 7 months old. Basically for 3 years I was pregnant or nursing and did not have a period at all. Once I weaned Jake my monthly visitor came back riding a Harley, fully armed, and with a bitchy attitude.
My very first period came on a weekend to Las Vegas (I told you she was a bitch), and I was hit with a menstrual cramp so hard that I couldn't walk. I stopped in the middle of the casino floor and pretended to be searching through my purse for lipgloss. For anyone who has been in labor we are talking 5-6 cm. dilation with no epidural, that's how bad it hurt. I prayed that was just because it was my first cycle in 3 years.
Nope a few months later it continued and one Saturday morning while I was doubled over with cramps and irrationally yelling at my husband, he shot back, "You don't have to live like this and I don't want to live like this. You need to go see your OB. I wish I had an excuse to be a complete pyscho once a month.". He was forgiven for the last remark because he took the kids to the park so I could nap.
So I saw my nurse practioner who agreed that I am getting too old to go back on the pill and with a family history of strokes, that it's generally not a great idea. But before we went for the Novasure we decided to try large doses of naproxen (Aleve) 2 days before my period starts and continue it for 3 more days. And she prescribed some narcotics as well.
Genius! This method actually worked for a couple of months and I didn't even need the Darvocet. But then my cycle started to become irregular so I wasn't able to take the naproxen 2 days beforehand because I didn't know when it was going to start. Then the vomiting started. Then my cycle started to last 8-10 days leaving not too many good days out of the month to enjoy my life. I was ruining sheets and panties and losing sleep due to the painful cramping. I am sure you can figure out what a lovely mood this left me in and how parenting 3 small kids was a complete joy when you feel like Hell.
A recent blood test came back borderline anemic, and that made total sense, I was sooo tired. Finally I got an appointment with my busy OB and he cut me off in mid-sentence, "You really don't have to sell me on this, you are the perfect candidate for this procedure. You have 3 healthy kids, you are almost 40 years old, your body is healthy and your husband has had a vasectomy. Are you busy this Friday?". I was completely ecstatic!! That means for my upcoming 20 year high school reunion and my brother's wedding in September I would not be having a period!! Sign me up!
On my way home from that consultation appointment last Tuesday I was reminded of a friend whose mother had a full hysterectomy and asked her surgeon for her uterus. She took it home in a jar and I guess had a nice ceremony and buried it. I dug deep down into my heart but, I just could not dredge up the same feelings of sentiment towards my uterus.
I don't view this as a death, it's more like a divorce. We had an active 26 year relationship where she cradled 3 gorgeous babies for me. But then she turned into an unpredictable, belligerent hag and it was better for everyone to go our separate ways.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I am Alone
All 3 kids are in camp this morning! 9a-1pm M,W, and F. of this week they are in a day camp at our temple. I seriously can't decide what to do with myself.
Do I go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, drive home and masturbate with my bedroom door wide open? Nope. The first thing I did was finish filling out their paperwork, because of course I can't leave them there without it, and I hadn't done it yet. I am a master procrastinator. That took me a fucking hour and 15 minutes! Is this day camp or the secret service. Damn!
Jake cried when I left but he's in good hands, and Mike and Bekah were consoling him. I felt a twinge of sadness but it was fleeting. As soon as I saw the Starbucks sign I was over it. Now I am sitting here with my laptop, a quad shot non-fat mocha, a 1/2 eaten banana and I still don't know what the hell to do with myself.
I guess I will start with some blogging and schedule them to be posted periodically throughout the summer. You probably figured out that I gave up on my Weekly Weight Watchers recipes. Commitment is a challenge for me, probably why I didn't get married until I was 32 years old. I will post a recipe here and there, especially since I would really like to lose at least 5 more pounds before my 20 year high school reunion August 29th. But the weekly thing was an idea suited for somebody way more organized than I am.
Wednesday I do have an appointment and during this free time maybe I will go see the dentist and get my hair colored. That's not frivolity, the gray is coming in with vengenance. I believe I shall go as blonde as my eyebrows will let me. Why not?
I want to have fun and enjoy myself but I feel the need to balance this alone time with some real errands or work since my poor husband is slaving away at the moment.
Speaking of my husband we had a fight last week. We never fight. We snap at each other now and then, because we get tired and irritable but that's about it. Last week I was gently informing him that since my brother is getting married in September there are a bridal shower and a bacherlorette party on the books and I need his call schedule so I can figure out which one to go to. Of course I am leaning towards the bacherlorette party since that will be more fun. Well you think that I had asked him to serve me his balls on a platter.
He got all quiet and pouty looking and I asked him, "Are you pouting?". And he said, "A little." And I asked, "Why?". And he said, "Because you just got back from a bacherlorette weekend and left me with the kids.". "Well honey you are welcome to have a weekend alone with your guy friends too. You can go on that ski weekend with the guys from the hospital this year. As long as you stay away from the bad, slutty husbands.".
That didn't seem to cheer him up. And a few minutes later he said, "You can only go to one event! I am putting my foot down! You are only allowed to go to one event!".
At first I wanted to laugh hysterically! Then I realized he was serious. Dark anger washed over me, I had to take deep breaths, I was standing next to a block of knives, my hands were slippery from washing dishes, this could get very ugly.
Of course I was only planning to go to one event, not both. I may be a lot of things but I am not unfair. I wouldn't like it if he left me alone multiple weekends to party with his friends and family. Having kids is about sacrifice and I don't expect to have the carefree social life I used to lead. But I wasn't going to tell him that now, he pissed me off! And this wasn't drinking with my girlfriends, these are wedding events, for family, my brother!!!
I have come a long way baby when it comes to my anger management. I resisted the urge to yell and throw stuff and swear and call names. Well almost. I said, "What are you a fucking Promise Keeper?!". You know those right-wing Christian men that promise to uphold their marriage vows but really just boss their wives around? Erik said, "What?!" I said through clenched teeth, "You can't put your foot down and tell me what to do. What if this was your family member getting married? Do you think I wouldn't let you go?!." Then it deteriorated into the age old he works and I stay home and eat Bons Bons fight. Nice.
I walked away from that and went back to my Bons Bons, and dishes and kitchen floor and yelling at the kids. Then we both calmed down.
I sat on his lap and he apologized and said he was just really tired and he didn't mean to say that. And I said, "Honey I was only going to go to one event anyways, I am not an asshole. And you can go out and party with your buddies anytime, seriously, I owe you." . So we made up and it's all good!
I just didn't want you to think my life was perfect.
Do I go get a mani/pedi, go shopping, drive home and masturbate with my bedroom door wide open? Nope. The first thing I did was finish filling out their paperwork, because of course I can't leave them there without it, and I hadn't done it yet. I am a master procrastinator. That took me a fucking hour and 15 minutes! Is this day camp or the secret service. Damn!
Jake cried when I left but he's in good hands, and Mike and Bekah were consoling him. I felt a twinge of sadness but it was fleeting. As soon as I saw the Starbucks sign I was over it. Now I am sitting here with my laptop, a quad shot non-fat mocha, a 1/2 eaten banana and I still don't know what the hell to do with myself.
I guess I will start with some blogging and schedule them to be posted periodically throughout the summer. You probably figured out that I gave up on my Weekly Weight Watchers recipes. Commitment is a challenge for me, probably why I didn't get married until I was 32 years old. I will post a recipe here and there, especially since I would really like to lose at least 5 more pounds before my 20 year high school reunion August 29th. But the weekly thing was an idea suited for somebody way more organized than I am.
Wednesday I do have an appointment and during this free time maybe I will go see the dentist and get my hair colored. That's not frivolity, the gray is coming in with vengenance. I believe I shall go as blonde as my eyebrows will let me. Why not?
I want to have fun and enjoy myself but I feel the need to balance this alone time with some real errands or work since my poor husband is slaving away at the moment.
Speaking of my husband we had a fight last week. We never fight. We snap at each other now and then, because we get tired and irritable but that's about it. Last week I was gently informing him that since my brother is getting married in September there are a bridal shower and a bacherlorette party on the books and I need his call schedule so I can figure out which one to go to. Of course I am leaning towards the bacherlorette party since that will be more fun. Well you think that I had asked him to serve me his balls on a platter.
He got all quiet and pouty looking and I asked him, "Are you pouting?". And he said, "A little." And I asked, "Why?". And he said, "Because you just got back from a bacherlorette weekend and left me with the kids.". "Well honey you are welcome to have a weekend alone with your guy friends too. You can go on that ski weekend with the guys from the hospital this year. As long as you stay away from the bad, slutty husbands.".
That didn't seem to cheer him up. And a few minutes later he said, "You can only go to one event! I am putting my foot down! You are only allowed to go to one event!".
At first I wanted to laugh hysterically! Then I realized he was serious. Dark anger washed over me, I had to take deep breaths, I was standing next to a block of knives, my hands were slippery from washing dishes, this could get very ugly.
Of course I was only planning to go to one event, not both. I may be a lot of things but I am not unfair. I wouldn't like it if he left me alone multiple weekends to party with his friends and family. Having kids is about sacrifice and I don't expect to have the carefree social life I used to lead. But I wasn't going to tell him that now, he pissed me off! And this wasn't drinking with my girlfriends, these are wedding events, for family, my brother!!!
I have come a long way baby when it comes to my anger management. I resisted the urge to yell and throw stuff and swear and call names. Well almost. I said, "What are you a fucking Promise Keeper?!". You know those right-wing Christian men that promise to uphold their marriage vows but really just boss their wives around? Erik said, "What?!" I said through clenched teeth, "You can't put your foot down and tell me what to do. What if this was your family member getting married? Do you think I wouldn't let you go?!." Then it deteriorated into the age old he works and I stay home and eat Bons Bons fight. Nice.
I walked away from that and went back to my Bons Bons, and dishes and kitchen floor and yelling at the kids. Then we both calmed down.
I sat on his lap and he apologized and said he was just really tired and he didn't mean to say that. And I said, "Honey I was only going to go to one event anyways, I am not an asshole. And you can go out and party with your buddies anytime, seriously, I owe you." . So we made up and it's all good!
I just didn't want you to think my life was perfect.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Breastfeeding a 3rd grader, Judgemental moms, Other random thoughts
The other night my husband and I happened upon a 20/20 episode on breastfeeding older children. I have read on other blogs that the entire show was on extreme mothering,but Erik and I only saw the breastfeeding segment.
Ok so one of my rules to be a N.E.O. mom is to let other women make the choice to do what they want to do with their bodies and children. Another rules is that rules are meant to be broken, and that is what I am going to do now. 20/20 showed a woman breastfeeding 2.5 year old twins, yawn, big deal. Then a woman was shown nursing a 5 year old, not my thing but he seemed rather babyish so maybe it was appropriate for their family. Then they showed a woman breastfeeding her 8 year old daughter. Ewwwww!
I was already wearing a bra by the time I was 8 years old! I realize I was an early bloomer, so I started thinking about my 8 year old niece,who is more average,and I could not see her being interested in breastfeeding either.
In a third world country where water is unsafe with an inadequate food supply, breastfeeding your children to the age of 8 makes sense. In a country such as the U.S. or U.K. I just don't see that it is necessary, or even beneficial, if we think about a child's emotional development. And I am not anti-breastfeeding at all, I nursed all 3 kids, I just had no desire to do it forever.
Ok I need to talk about something else now. I love evites. You can see who is attending the same party that you have been invited to and that's very important when you recently had to quit a mom's club that you accidentally blew up. So I was invited to a lovely child's birthday party this morning, and I was checking the evite to see who would be there. "Hmmm, oh good I like that chick, oh good I miss her too, phew thank G-d she won't be there, oh shit not her and her too!?". But I am a mature woman and would never do anything to ruin a child's birthday. And my sweet husband said, "I am your friend honey and I will talk to you.".
So I visited with the mom of birthday child who is a friend, and I hung out with some friends from my new and improved mom's club, and I got to visit with 2 women that I miss from the old mom's club. The other 2 women I ignored.
Unfortunately one of those women is not to easy to ignore. She falls into that extreme mothering episode from 20/20. Strongly opinionated and super judgemental. She doesn't vaccinate her child. Do I need to say more?
Well after free play the kids started munching on pizza and that always brings up the topic of picky eaters,of which my oldest is known for being the pickiest. Somebody said something about Dino nuggets (my oldest's favorite food) and annoying mom goes off, "Oh that is not the child,that is all the parents' fault. They just need to offer their kids other foods and they will eat them.". I had to leave the room. You are probably thinking that is no reason to be annoyed but she said this in a very loud voice, totally directed at me and I am not good at being quiet so I just walked out to check on my Dino nugget eating 4 year old.
Later , said 4 year old shows up to eat cupcakes. Don't worry I always feed him before parties because I know he doesn't eat pizza. I just feed him before the party so I don't have to fight with him about food, and then he can have cupcakes after everyone else is done eating their lunch. So Mike was being silly and said, "Look I have a moustache.". It was all frosting from his cupcake on his upper lip, cute. Annoying mom immediately starts asking him in the most patronizing voice possible, "What color is the frosting Mike? Can you tell me? Do you know what color that is?". My oldest looks at her blankly and makes an unintelligible noise like he just got off the short bus. Jeez Mike throw your mother a bone! It would have been the perfect time for him to say, "Why yes this frosting is a lovely shade of indigo.".
Once again I chose to leave the room instead of kicking her in the face. I am no Miss Manners but I am pretty sure that kicking another mother in the face is not appropriate behavior at a child's birthday party.
In her defense, annoying, judgemental mom was so busy pointing out other parents' faults she didn't say anything about the old mom's club being blown up. Another guest that I like very much did say that the club I quit is dead now! She said it's boring and nobody shows up to anything. So I asked her if she would like to join our new informal group and she was very enthusiastic. It makes sense the old club is dead, we stole all the women that don't have sticks up their asses.
So just when I think that old mom's club drama is dead it gets brought up again. Sometimes quite innocently like mentioned above when I am told it's boring now that I am gone. Which I find flattering. Other times that fiasco is brought up at the most bizarre moments.
Recently I recognized a woman from my oldest's previous preschool in the line at the grocery store. We said Hi and she mentioned that she heard of me recently because some neighbors were talking about what had happened with the mom's club. What?!! How small is this damn suburb?!!
This makes me nervous because I don't know who her neighbors are, but she puts me at ease and says that she agrees it was really stupid for me to have to quit. Phew. She then goes on to say that they miss me, "Especially Sharon.". That's great except I don't know anyone named Sharon! So Sharon misses me and she has never met me? These women need a new hobby.
Then at the gym wrapped in a towel,making small talk with another woman, this woman blurts out, "So what happened with your mom's club?". Unbelievable. So I try to briefly explain it, but I start to get fired up talking about it and I use my hands a lot when I am talking and my towel falls to my ankles. Awkward.
My advice is always be careful what you say and what you email, especially if you live in suburb, small town or associate with a lot of women that have sticks up their asses.
Ok so one of my rules to be a N.E.O. mom is to let other women make the choice to do what they want to do with their bodies and children. Another rules is that rules are meant to be broken, and that is what I am going to do now. 20/20 showed a woman breastfeeding 2.5 year old twins, yawn, big deal. Then a woman was shown nursing a 5 year old, not my thing but he seemed rather babyish so maybe it was appropriate for their family. Then they showed a woman breastfeeding her 8 year old daughter. Ewwwww!
I was already wearing a bra by the time I was 8 years old! I realize I was an early bloomer, so I started thinking about my 8 year old niece,who is more average,and I could not see her being interested in breastfeeding either.
In a third world country where water is unsafe with an inadequate food supply, breastfeeding your children to the age of 8 makes sense. In a country such as the U.S. or U.K. I just don't see that it is necessary, or even beneficial, if we think about a child's emotional development. And I am not anti-breastfeeding at all, I nursed all 3 kids, I just had no desire to do it forever.
Ok I need to talk about something else now. I love evites. You can see who is attending the same party that you have been invited to and that's very important when you recently had to quit a mom's club that you accidentally blew up. So I was invited to a lovely child's birthday party this morning, and I was checking the evite to see who would be there. "Hmmm, oh good I like that chick, oh good I miss her too, phew thank G-d she won't be there, oh shit not her and her too!?". But I am a mature woman and would never do anything to ruin a child's birthday. And my sweet husband said, "I am your friend honey and I will talk to you.".
So I visited with the mom of birthday child who is a friend, and I hung out with some friends from my new and improved mom's club, and I got to visit with 2 women that I miss from the old mom's club. The other 2 women I ignored.
Unfortunately one of those women is not to easy to ignore. She falls into that extreme mothering episode from 20/20. Strongly opinionated and super judgemental. She doesn't vaccinate her child. Do I need to say more?
Well after free play the kids started munching on pizza and that always brings up the topic of picky eaters,of which my oldest is known for being the pickiest. Somebody said something about Dino nuggets (my oldest's favorite food) and annoying mom goes off, "Oh that is not the child,that is all the parents' fault. They just need to offer their kids other foods and they will eat them.". I had to leave the room. You are probably thinking that is no reason to be annoyed but she said this in a very loud voice, totally directed at me and I am not good at being quiet so I just walked out to check on my Dino nugget eating 4 year old.
Later , said 4 year old shows up to eat cupcakes. Don't worry I always feed him before parties because I know he doesn't eat pizza. I just feed him before the party so I don't have to fight with him about food, and then he can have cupcakes after everyone else is done eating their lunch. So Mike was being silly and said, "Look I have a moustache.". It was all frosting from his cupcake on his upper lip, cute. Annoying mom immediately starts asking him in the most patronizing voice possible, "What color is the frosting Mike? Can you tell me? Do you know what color that is?". My oldest looks at her blankly and makes an unintelligible noise like he just got off the short bus. Jeez Mike throw your mother a bone! It would have been the perfect time for him to say, "Why yes this frosting is a lovely shade of indigo.".
Once again I chose to leave the room instead of kicking her in the face. I am no Miss Manners but I am pretty sure that kicking another mother in the face is not appropriate behavior at a child's birthday party.
In her defense, annoying, judgemental mom was so busy pointing out other parents' faults she didn't say anything about the old mom's club being blown up. Another guest that I like very much did say that the club I quit is dead now! She said it's boring and nobody shows up to anything. So I asked her if she would like to join our new informal group and she was very enthusiastic. It makes sense the old club is dead, we stole all the women that don't have sticks up their asses.
So just when I think that old mom's club drama is dead it gets brought up again. Sometimes quite innocently like mentioned above when I am told it's boring now that I am gone. Which I find flattering. Other times that fiasco is brought up at the most bizarre moments.
Recently I recognized a woman from my oldest's previous preschool in the line at the grocery store. We said Hi and she mentioned that she heard of me recently because some neighbors were talking about what had happened with the mom's club. What?!! How small is this damn suburb?!!
This makes me nervous because I don't know who her neighbors are, but she puts me at ease and says that she agrees it was really stupid for me to have to quit. Phew. She then goes on to say that they miss me, "Especially Sharon.". That's great except I don't know anyone named Sharon! So Sharon misses me and she has never met me? These women need a new hobby.
Then at the gym wrapped in a towel,making small talk with another woman, this woman blurts out, "So what happened with your mom's club?". Unbelievable. So I try to briefly explain it, but I start to get fired up talking about it and I use my hands a lot when I am talking and my towel falls to my ankles. Awkward.
My advice is always be careful what you say and what you email, especially if you live in suburb, small town or associate with a lot of women that have sticks up their asses.
Monday, June 1, 2009
George Tiller Is a Hero
I am generally not this political and militant but in the last week 2 issues that are very important to me have been in the spotlight. Gay rights, and a woman's right to choose.
I was very disappointed last week when Prop 8 was upheld, denying gays their civil right to get married. Now an abortion physician was gunned down in his house of worship. That is vile. It is wrong to assassinate this man, but it is an even worse crime to murder him in a sacred space.
Now we get to hear from whack-jobs like Terry Randall, founder of Operation Rescue. His heartfelt quote of the day was that Dr. Tiller, "...reaped what he sowed.". What a hateful, disgusting, person.
The last 8 years the ultra-conservative right wing branch of the Republicans have been sitting around getting fat and happy. They have been complacent while our planet is dying, science was being debunked, and poorly funded, and civil rights were whittled away. Now that we have a progressive person as our President, it's like somebody threw chlorine in their stagnant pool of hate and ignorance.
But does the group of hate-mongers go out and vote? No. Do they organize peacefully in their local communities? No.
OK, OK, I realize last week I entertained the thought of rioting after Prop 8 was upheld, but you know I am just full of it right? Trust me I didn't go throw a flaming newsstand through a plate glass window.
As much as people hate George W. Bush nobody assassinated him. He had shoes thrown at him, but that was in Iraq. Why are the ultra-conservative so violent? Both in action and speech.
Dr. George Tiller provided quality health care to American women. A healer's job should never have to be dangerous. I can't imagine my husband having to wear a bullet-proof vest to work everyday, or having his own private security guard, or driving an armored car. Dr. Tiller had to do all of these things because he was courageous enough to provide abortions for women who were experiencing dangerous pregnancies.
Bill O'Reilly from Fox news called him, "Tiller the baby killer.". Obviously I disagree. A man who put himself in such danger everyday to uphold the rights of women is a hero.
I was very disappointed last week when Prop 8 was upheld, denying gays their civil right to get married. Now an abortion physician was gunned down in his house of worship. That is vile. It is wrong to assassinate this man, but it is an even worse crime to murder him in a sacred space.
Now we get to hear from whack-jobs like Terry Randall, founder of Operation Rescue. His heartfelt quote of the day was that Dr. Tiller, "...reaped what he sowed.". What a hateful, disgusting, person.
The last 8 years the ultra-conservative right wing branch of the Republicans have been sitting around getting fat and happy. They have been complacent while our planet is dying, science was being debunked, and poorly funded, and civil rights were whittled away. Now that we have a progressive person as our President, it's like somebody threw chlorine in their stagnant pool of hate and ignorance.
But does the group of hate-mongers go out and vote? No. Do they organize peacefully in their local communities? No.
OK, OK, I realize last week I entertained the thought of rioting after Prop 8 was upheld, but you know I am just full of it right? Trust me I didn't go throw a flaming newsstand through a plate glass window.
As much as people hate George W. Bush nobody assassinated him. He had shoes thrown at him, but that was in Iraq. Why are the ultra-conservative so violent? Both in action and speech.
Dr. George Tiller provided quality health care to American women. A healer's job should never have to be dangerous. I can't imagine my husband having to wear a bullet-proof vest to work everyday, or having his own private security guard, or driving an armored car. Dr. Tiller had to do all of these things because he was courageous enough to provide abortions for women who were experiencing dangerous pregnancies.
Bill O'Reilly from Fox news called him, "Tiller the baby killer.". Obviously I disagree. A man who put himself in such danger everyday to uphold the rights of women is a hero.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I Hate Prop 8
So today started off pretty awesome with a Hispanic woman being picked as a nominee, for our nation's Supreme Court. But then civil rights took a step backwards just as quickly as it progressed.
The horribly hateful Proposition 8 was upheld by California's Supreme Court. 6-1. To quote my brother Brandon, that is "6 justices who don't believe in civil rights.". I was angry and disappointed, but I turned off the television, and had a nice playdate with a friend and her adorable son. Then comes naptime, and my computer time, and now I am really angry after reading an article on S.F. Gate.
These are the paragraphs in particular that made me angry:
Among the first to go were Shawn Higgins and Robert Franco of San Francisco. The two men, who said they are engaged to marry, had stood for about an hour in the intersection calmly kissing while demonstrators all around them screamed, "Prop. 8 will go down, San Francisco (is a) big queer town" and other slogans.
Damn straight San Francisco is a big queer town! (excuse the pun) And don't you forget it! Who let the Prop 8 supporters over the bridges?!
Jorge Riley, 31, of Sacramento also got up early to make the drive to San Francisco to hoist his sign reading, "Gay = Pervert."
Seriously?! What a hateful, horrible person.
This is a civil rights issue, plain and simple. If you do not agree with me please do not read my blog, do not leave any comments on my blog, and do not follow my blog. Quietly go and unfollow me. And tell your friends not to read my blog. I am too angry and disgusted to be diplomatic right now.
I think rioting is completely warranted. I know that is a shocking statement, but think about it. Somebody is telling you that you can't get married. Think really hard about that........you can't marry the person you love. Wouldn't you feel outraged? Hurt? Demeaned? Feel less than a second class citizen? I would.
I want to take to the streets but I am ashamed to admit that I get caught up in the logistics of whose going to watch my kids while I am in jail. And honestly I don't want my kids around those hateful, ignorant Prop. 8 supporters. They frighten me, so I am sure they would frighten my kids.
This is the part of that article that gave me hope:
While some police officers kept watch from the outside of the protest circle, about 10 officers were positioned inside. Each of those 10 officers are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, said Lt. Lea Militello of the Tenderloin Station.
"Absolutely it affects me. I got married in October," she said.
Police Sgt. Carl Tennenbaum said the officers on the scene ranged from gay to conservative, and many had to say they had "mixed feelings would be putting it mildly." However, he said, "You just have to set the issues aside and do your job."
Maybe when supporters of Prop. 8 see that this truly affects "normal" citizens like police officers, they will begin to change their minds. I say this because I am under the impression that many supporters of this hateful legislation have only experienced stereotypes of homosexuals. They are not aware that gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgender people come from every walk of life. So I believe we will have a chance to put this on the ballot again and make justice and equality for everyone.
The horribly hateful Proposition 8 was upheld by California's Supreme Court. 6-1. To quote my brother Brandon, that is "6 justices who don't believe in civil rights.". I was angry and disappointed, but I turned off the television, and had a nice playdate with a friend and her adorable son. Then comes naptime, and my computer time, and now I am really angry after reading an article on S.F. Gate.
These are the paragraphs in particular that made me angry:
Among the first to go were Shawn Higgins and Robert Franco of San Francisco. The two men, who said they are engaged to marry, had stood for about an hour in the intersection calmly kissing while demonstrators all around them screamed, "Prop. 8 will go down, San Francisco (is a) big queer town" and other slogans.
Damn straight San Francisco is a big queer town! (excuse the pun) And don't you forget it! Who let the Prop 8 supporters over the bridges?!
Jorge Riley, 31, of Sacramento also got up early to make the drive to San Francisco to hoist his sign reading, "Gay = Pervert."
Seriously?! What a hateful, horrible person.
This is a civil rights issue, plain and simple. If you do not agree with me please do not read my blog, do not leave any comments on my blog, and do not follow my blog. Quietly go and unfollow me. And tell your friends not to read my blog. I am too angry and disgusted to be diplomatic right now.
I think rioting is completely warranted. I know that is a shocking statement, but think about it. Somebody is telling you that you can't get married. Think really hard about that........you can't marry the person you love. Wouldn't you feel outraged? Hurt? Demeaned? Feel less than a second class citizen? I would.
I want to take to the streets but I am ashamed to admit that I get caught up in the logistics of whose going to watch my kids while I am in jail. And honestly I don't want my kids around those hateful, ignorant Prop. 8 supporters. They frighten me, so I am sure they would frighten my kids.
This is the part of that article that gave me hope:
While some police officers kept watch from the outside of the protest circle, about 10 officers were positioned inside. Each of those 10 officers are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, said Lt. Lea Militello of the Tenderloin Station.
"Absolutely it affects me. I got married in October," she said.
Police Sgt. Carl Tennenbaum said the officers on the scene ranged from gay to conservative, and many had to say they had "mixed feelings would be putting it mildly." However, he said, "You just have to set the issues aside and do your job."
Maybe when supporters of Prop. 8 see that this truly affects "normal" citizens like police officers, they will begin to change their minds. I say this because I am under the impression that many supporters of this hateful legislation have only experienced stereotypes of homosexuals. They are not aware that gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgender people come from every walk of life. So I believe we will have a chance to put this on the ballot again and make justice and equality for everyone.
Friday, May 22, 2009
New Charges For Melissa Huckaby
Thursday, March 21, almost 2 months after 8 year old Sandra Cantu went missing, her alleged killer was charged with 3 new crimes. Melissa Huckaby is due in a San Joaquin County courtroom today to hear these 3 felony counts. Huckaby will be charged with a single count of child endangerment and two felony counts of furnishing a harmful substance, poisoning. She is alleged to have poisoned an unidentified 7 year old girl and an adult man. Both of them recovered. The poisoning of the little girl was to have occurred on Jan. 17 2009, and even though it was reported to the Tracy police, it was unfortunately dismissed.
The adult male, the other alleged poisoning victim, is Daniel Plowman, and currently can't be located. With the judge's gag order placed on this trial, even if Daniel Plowman was located, he is not allowed to comment on his experience.
So far each chapter in this horrible story raises more questions than answers. Why would a single mother and Sunday school teacher be poisoning a playmate of her daughter and a male neighbor? Was Melissa Huckaby's own daughter abused by her? If a thorough investigation of the poisoning of the unidentified 7 year old, had been completed, would Sandra Cantu still be alive? Why did Huckaby kidnap and rape Sandra Cantu and dump her body in a pond? How could we have prevented this from happening?
It's highly likely that with an insanity defense Melissa Huckaby will not be sentenced to death. I hope that we can use the remainder of her life to study exactly what went wrong, so that nothing like this will ever happen again.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Weekly Weight Watcher's Menu
Ok so I am trying to get back on the Weight Watchers wagon this week due to some chick thinking I was pregnant last weekend.
I am proud of myself because I have been sticking to it, and I have been to the gym 3 days in a row. I will go ahead and post my menu for the whole week below. I will fill in the recipes later and tell you if they tasted good or not. According to Weight Watchers I am supposed to eat 23 points a day but I have 35 extra points a week to use and exercise gives you some extra points too.
Monday
Dinner (I already posted breakfast and lunch earlier in this week)
An indescribable chicken and veggie soup. It was like a Mexican Minestrone. It was based on Weight Watcher's 0 points veggie soup but I had to add chicken for my husband the carnivore and beans and rice for me. I cant' do their 0 points soup because I am hungry 5 minutes after eating it and then I get a headache. But with the chicken, beans and rice it only bumped up the soup to 2 points for a giant bowl.
Tuesday
Breakfast= 1 pancake with butter only and a banana= 4 points
Lunch= Leftover soup from Monday
Snack= whole wheat mini bagel with 2 Tbs. of Lite Veggie Cream cheese= 4 points (eaten before going to the gym)
Dinner= Grilled Teriyaki chicken, grilled asparagus, grilled pineapple and brown rice (I didn't grill the rice). I just dumped some Teriyaki sauce over some chicken breasts early in the morning and let it thaw throughout the day. (Ken's Teriyaki marinade is pretty tasty). I grilled the chicken for roughly 4-5 minutes per side, by then the coals had cooled down a little so the pound of very thin and trimmed asparagus took about 4 minutes a side. The pineapple rings (straight from a can with juice not heavy syrup) I grilled on the very outside of the grill and they take about 2 minutes per side. I put salt and pepper on the pineapple (don't knock it until you have tried it). The asparagus I just poured some more Teriyaki sauce over it and those spears were sooooo good! The brown rice was Success boil in the bag for 10 minutes brown rice.
I dumped a palm size piece of grilled chicken, a handful of asparagus, and 2 pineapple rings over a 1/2 cup of rice and it was only 6.5 points and it was filling. I may have had a couple of beers while watching American Idol too. *
Wednesday
Breakfast= scrambled egg white, fat-free cheese slice (on a sandwich ok but I wouldn't eat this straight), and a whole wheat english muffin= 3 points
Lunch= More of the same soup and 1/2 english muffin with f.f. cheese melted on it=3-4 points, leftover asparagus from last night=0 points and a skinny cow popsicle= 1 point (yum!!)
Dinner= Going out to P.F. Changs with a couple of my buddies tonight so I will be eating Chinese food and drinking beer. These 2 friends are skinny though so I most likely won't be pigging out.
Thursday
Breakfast= same sandwich from yesterday
Lunch= Black Bean soup, 2 cups= 2 points (3 cans of black beans 2 of them drained and 1 undrained, dumped into pot with a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup chicken broth, a pinch of anise seeds, a pinch of dried sage and salt and pepper to taste, and Tabasco to taste. Simmer and eat with 2 Tbs of Fat Free Sour Cream, good stuff!
Dinner= Skim milk mozzarella sandwich on whole wheat bread with roasted red pepper strips and 1 tsp. of Pesto. Salad with Italian dressing and steamed broccolli and zucchini. I will give you recipe and points tommorrow or Friday.
Friday
Breakfast= Mini whole wheat bagel with 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese and a cup of cantaloupe= 5 points
Lunch= More black bean soup
Dinner= Turkey burgers with minted yogurt cucumber dressing in whole wheat pitas. I will give points and recipes later when I figure it out.
Saturday
Breakfast= Sandwich, bagels or cereal= all of those are 3-4 points
Lunch= Soup if any is left or leftover turkey burgers or some kind of meat on a stick if we go to the Wind and Art Festival.
Dinner= I am trying to score a date with my husband if I can scrounge a babysitter. If I can't then I will might cook or not. If I cook I will make Tandoori chicken on the grill, with steamed broccoli, brown rice and pita bread. I will let you know.
Sunday
Breakfast= Same as Sat.
Lunch= Same as Sat. we don't know which day we are going to the Passing Wind and Fart Festival (I crack myself up)
Dinner= Same as Sat.
Monday
Breakfast=Same as Sunday
Lunch= Leftovers
Dinner= It's Memorial Day and points be damned! I am going to hit the gym all weekend so I can enjoy a good bbq!
Grilled beef burgers with all the fixings (mayo, catsup, mustard, horseradish, cheese, lettuce and grilled sweet red onions) on huge sourdough buns
French Fries
Hot dogs
Baked Beans
Strawberries with whipped cream
Lots of ice cold beer
* Look I don't mind telling you how many beers I drink, but there are some chicks who read this blog even though they don't like me. They come from an old mom's club I was a member of and I try not to give them too many things to talk about when it comes to my lifestyle choices. Of course it doesn't seem to occur to them that the wine and martinis they swill have more alcohol than my beers..........
I am proud of myself because I have been sticking to it, and I have been to the gym 3 days in a row. I will go ahead and post my menu for the whole week below. I will fill in the recipes later and tell you if they tasted good or not. According to Weight Watchers I am supposed to eat 23 points a day but I have 35 extra points a week to use and exercise gives you some extra points too.
Monday
Dinner (I already posted breakfast and lunch earlier in this week)
An indescribable chicken and veggie soup. It was like a Mexican Minestrone. It was based on Weight Watcher's 0 points veggie soup but I had to add chicken for my husband the carnivore and beans and rice for me. I cant' do their 0 points soup because I am hungry 5 minutes after eating it and then I get a headache. But with the chicken, beans and rice it only bumped up the soup to 2 points for a giant bowl.
Tuesday
Breakfast= 1 pancake with butter only and a banana= 4 points
Lunch= Leftover soup from Monday
Snack= whole wheat mini bagel with 2 Tbs. of Lite Veggie Cream cheese= 4 points (eaten before going to the gym)
Dinner= Grilled Teriyaki chicken, grilled asparagus, grilled pineapple and brown rice (I didn't grill the rice). I just dumped some Teriyaki sauce over some chicken breasts early in the morning and let it thaw throughout the day. (Ken's Teriyaki marinade is pretty tasty). I grilled the chicken for roughly 4-5 minutes per side, by then the coals had cooled down a little so the pound of very thin and trimmed asparagus took about 4 minutes a side. The pineapple rings (straight from a can with juice not heavy syrup) I grilled on the very outside of the grill and they take about 2 minutes per side. I put salt and pepper on the pineapple (don't knock it until you have tried it). The asparagus I just poured some more Teriyaki sauce over it and those spears were sooooo good! The brown rice was Success boil in the bag for 10 minutes brown rice.
I dumped a palm size piece of grilled chicken, a handful of asparagus, and 2 pineapple rings over a 1/2 cup of rice and it was only 6.5 points and it was filling. I may have had a couple of beers while watching American Idol too. *
Wednesday
Breakfast= scrambled egg white, fat-free cheese slice (on a sandwich ok but I wouldn't eat this straight), and a whole wheat english muffin= 3 points
Lunch= More of the same soup and 1/2 english muffin with f.f. cheese melted on it=3-4 points, leftover asparagus from last night=0 points and a skinny cow popsicle= 1 point (yum!!)
Dinner= Going out to P.F. Changs with a couple of my buddies tonight so I will be eating Chinese food and drinking beer. These 2 friends are skinny though so I most likely won't be pigging out.
Thursday
Breakfast= same sandwich from yesterday
Lunch= Black Bean soup, 2 cups= 2 points (3 cans of black beans 2 of them drained and 1 undrained, dumped into pot with a can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup chicken broth, a pinch of anise seeds, a pinch of dried sage and salt and pepper to taste, and Tabasco to taste. Simmer and eat with 2 Tbs of Fat Free Sour Cream, good stuff!
Dinner= Skim milk mozzarella sandwich on whole wheat bread with roasted red pepper strips and 1 tsp. of Pesto. Salad with Italian dressing and steamed broccolli and zucchini. I will give you recipe and points tommorrow or Friday.
Friday
Breakfast= Mini whole wheat bagel with 2 Tbs. lite veggie cream cheese and a cup of cantaloupe= 5 points
Lunch= More black bean soup
Dinner= Turkey burgers with minted yogurt cucumber dressing in whole wheat pitas. I will give points and recipes later when I figure it out.
Saturday
Breakfast= Sandwich, bagels or cereal= all of those are 3-4 points
Lunch= Soup if any is left or leftover turkey burgers or some kind of meat on a stick if we go to the Wind and Art Festival.
Dinner= I am trying to score a date with my husband if I can scrounge a babysitter. If I can't then I will might cook or not. If I cook I will make Tandoori chicken on the grill, with steamed broccoli, brown rice and pita bread. I will let you know.
Sunday
Breakfast= Same as Sat.
Lunch= Same as Sat. we don't know which day we are going to the Passing Wind and Fart Festival (I crack myself up)
Dinner= Same as Sat.
Monday
Breakfast=Same as Sunday
Lunch= Leftovers
Dinner= It's Memorial Day and points be damned! I am going to hit the gym all weekend so I can enjoy a good bbq!
Grilled beef burgers with all the fixings (mayo, catsup, mustard, horseradish, cheese, lettuce and grilled sweet red onions) on huge sourdough buns
French Fries
Hot dogs
Baked Beans
Strawberries with whipped cream
Lots of ice cold beer
* Look I don't mind telling you how many beers I drink, but there are some chicks who read this blog even though they don't like me. They come from an old mom's club I was a member of and I try not to give them too many things to talk about when it comes to my lifestyle choices. Of course it doesn't seem to occur to them that the wine and martinis they swill have more alcohol than my beers..........
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Something New
I am falling behind on my Weight Watcher recipes, sorry about that. It just got super busy around here. Well I am back on the wagon. Some chick thought I was pregnant this weekend, bitch.
I was at a bridal shower and I was making small talk with some very skinny moms and one of them said, "You look like you are pregnant.". WTF? No, seriously, What The Fuck?! I was stunned. I thought I looked pretty good too, a little bloated, but not enough to look pregnant.
So I need to get serious. I have a bacherlorette party to go to in a month. Thankfully that anorexic chick won't be there, but just in case she sees pictures of me from that weekend, I want her to say, "Oh shit I can't believe I thought she was pregnant! I am a truly horrible person and now I need to go eat a Double Whopper with cheese and maybe some onion rings too.".
So what I am going to do is post my meals for the entire week, with the points. And I will try to eat them too.
Monday, May 18th
1 cup Cheerios
1/2 cup 1% milk
sliced 1/2 a banana
At least 4 cups of coffee with 2 Tbs. of nonfat non-dairy Vanilla creamer
Points= 4
Ok so that's breakfast. I will post the rest of the meals as the day goes along. It's 10:14 pm here and I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. Wish me luck.
I don't need luck brushing my teeth, I mean good luck with sticking to a diet void of cheese and beer.
I was at a bridal shower and I was making small talk with some very skinny moms and one of them said, "You look like you are pregnant.". WTF? No, seriously, What The Fuck?! I was stunned. I thought I looked pretty good too, a little bloated, but not enough to look pregnant.
So I need to get serious. I have a bacherlorette party to go to in a month. Thankfully that anorexic chick won't be there, but just in case she sees pictures of me from that weekend, I want her to say, "Oh shit I can't believe I thought she was pregnant! I am a truly horrible person and now I need to go eat a Double Whopper with cheese and maybe some onion rings too.".
So what I am going to do is post my meals for the entire week, with the points. And I will try to eat them too.
Monday, May 18th
1 cup Cheerios
1/2 cup 1% milk
sliced 1/2 a banana
At least 4 cups of coffee with 2 Tbs. of nonfat non-dairy Vanilla creamer
Points= 4
Ok so that's breakfast. I will post the rest of the meals as the day goes along. It's 10:14 pm here and I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. Wish me luck.
I don't need luck brushing my teeth, I mean good luck with sticking to a diet void of cheese and beer.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Superstition and Garden Statues
I have a confession to make, I am really superstitious. Some things don't bother me like spilled salt and broken mirrors. I don't go out of my way to spill salt or break a mirror but it doesn't cause me anxiety. The superstitions that get my heart beating sound ridiculous when I say them outloud but I can't help it. I am talking about bad mojo, evil eyes, restless spirits, negative energy.
It's such a dichotomy, I am blushing from shame for admitting this but I am looking over my shoulder for a wrinkled old gypsy lady.
The other day a giant, but stupid, turkey crashed into my backyard fence. During his collision he knocked down my plaque of Athena and broke her into 3 pieces (3 being a magical number). I loved that plaque. It was cool looking, and Athena, being the G-ddess of War, protects cities, homes, property etc. So now there is a hole in the bubble of protection I have around my home.
Trust me, I know that sounds completely goofy! But I can't be alone in these beliefs. I know there are other people reading this blog who have a similar superstition or ritual that gets you through the day. Right?
In the backyard I had Athena and a totem pole. I guess he really isn't a totem pole because he came from Brazil and it's just one angry gorilla. But one of my husband's friends gave it to us as a wedding present (even though I don't remember registering for a wood carving of an angry gorilla) and I immediately thought he would look good outside, only outside. Now I think he looks menacing enough to keep bad mojo out of that corner of the yard.
But Mr. Angry Gorilla is working by himself now that Athena is gone and my anxiety is climbing sky high. So I started looking online for a replacement for Athena. She was a gift and I have no contact with that person anymore so I have no idea where he got Athena. And I can't find anything like her anywhere. I started to look at this great website named Design Toscano and found some really nice garden art. This angel below is adorable but my husband is barely tolerating the angel in the front yard and would definitely not tolerate much more figurines anywhere.
I found a lot of nice stuff on that site but no Athena. So then I just started to look at the ugly stuff. Look at this guy! I would have to put a fake pile of poop at his feet because to me it looks like he is having some issues with irritable bowel.
Forget my husband, I am pretty sure my homeowner's association would have something to say about this angel in my front yard.
It's true, I am Jewish, but to my Christian friends out there, would you put this in your yard?
This shark made me laugh but he is 8 ft. long and was priced at $750!! Who would buy that?
I am afraid this sheep would attract the wrong element if you know what I mean.
Outside of a theme park, why would you buy a brontosaurus?
I am sorry but that's just ugly.
Ok so this Yeti, or Bigfoot, tickled me so much I actually made it my profile picture on Facebook for a few days. You have way too much money if you are putting statues of Bigfoot in your yard! I couldn't even afford the shipping on this thing.
Have a great weekend if I don't have time to post anything else this! And yes I realize I owe everyone 2 Weight Watchers recipes next week.
It's such a dichotomy, I am blushing from shame for admitting this but I am looking over my shoulder for a wrinkled old gypsy lady.
The other day a giant, but stupid, turkey crashed into my backyard fence. During his collision he knocked down my plaque of Athena and broke her into 3 pieces (3 being a magical number). I loved that plaque. It was cool looking, and Athena, being the G-ddess of War, protects cities, homes, property etc. So now there is a hole in the bubble of protection I have around my home.
Trust me, I know that sounds completely goofy! But I can't be alone in these beliefs. I know there are other people reading this blog who have a similar superstition or ritual that gets you through the day. Right?
I really believe Athena works. At our old house I hung her on the fence on the side of the yard where we had a crazy neighbor. I was warned by other neighbors that he has a plate in his head and isn't afraid to call the police and tell them that you have toilet papered his house (even if there is no toilet paper in his yard) or find out where you work and call to tell your employer lies about you. This guy was a huge menace and in the whole 5 years that we lived there he never said so much as boo to us. We move out, I take Athena with me, and I run into some old neighbors a few months later. Turns out that guy is back to his old tricks. So either he had a great 5 years of mental health which ended when we moved away, or Athena kept us safe from him. But since I will never really know now I am committed to hanging her in my yard again.
Athena isn't our only source of protection. I have an angel in the front yard, and a mezuzah at our door.
In the backyard I had Athena and a totem pole. I guess he really isn't a totem pole because he came from Brazil and it's just one angry gorilla. But one of my husband's friends gave it to us as a wedding present (even though I don't remember registering for a wood carving of an angry gorilla) and I immediately thought he would look good outside, only outside. Now I think he looks menacing enough to keep bad mojo out of that corner of the yard. 
But Mr. Angry Gorilla is working by himself now that Athena is gone and my anxiety is climbing sky high. So I started looking online for a replacement for Athena. She was a gift and I have no contact with that person anymore so I have no idea where he got Athena. And I can't find anything like her anywhere. I started to look at this great website named Design Toscano and found some really nice garden art. This angel below is adorable but my husband is barely tolerating the angel in the front yard and would definitely not tolerate much more figurines anywhere.
I found a lot of nice stuff on that site but no Athena. So then I just started to look at the ugly stuff. Look at this guy! I would have to put a fake pile of poop at his feet because to me it looks like he is having some issues with irritable bowel.
Forget my husband, I am pretty sure my homeowner's association would have something to say about this angel in my front yard.
It's true, I am Jewish, but to my Christian friends out there, would you put this in your yard?
This shark made me laugh but he is 8 ft. long and was priced at $750!! Who would buy that?
I am afraid this sheep would attract the wrong element if you know what I mean.
Outside of a theme park, why would you buy a brontosaurus?
I am sorry but that's just ugly.
Ok so this Yeti, or Bigfoot, tickled me so much I actually made it my profile picture on Facebook for a few days. You have way too much money if you are putting statues of Bigfoot in your yard! I couldn't even afford the shipping on this thing.
Have a great weekend if I don't have time to post anything else this! And yes I realize I owe everyone 2 Weight Watchers recipes next week.
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