Family, What doesn't Kill You Just Makes You Stranger.

I apologize profusely if you have read this topic before. But it is one that continues to fascinate me. The topic I am referring to is, how we all survived into adulthood in one piece??





Don't get me wrong I am a firm believer in carseats, sunscreen and soap when it comes to my kids. But when I was growing up carseats and sunscreen weren't that common and soap wasn't anti-bacterial. My mom was more on top of that stuff but my parents divorced when I was 3 years old and my younger brother and I saw our Dad every other weekend. Those were the Wild Card Weekends, anything goes. My Dad fed us, made sure we got sleep and had good manners but after that we were wild and free. And we turned out pretty good. We aren't the Obamas but we are better than the Osbournes. And we had a lot of fun!



My kids have the safest carseats imaginable but I would often ride in my Dad's bronco sitting on the cooler between the 2 front seats, or in the back of his pickup safely ensconced in the camper shell with roof shingles, nails and fish bait. When we were camping, and I wasn't underage driving, we sat perched on the tailgate holding on for dear life.

For years my Dad owned this orange Dodge van with a dark blue interior. It was so ugly, but comfy and fun. The only seats in that van were the two front bucket seats which were occupied by my Dad and his wife. So me, Bill and my step-mom's 2 daughters sat on the carpeted floor or on the bed in back. All 4 of us could sit on that bed, it was really comfy, but safe it was not. This van also had a fridge (mostly full of fish bait) and a sink with running water. My Dad, like most Dads I have ever met, has a serious time-line when it comes to road trips. So whenever any of us had to pee instead of pulling over we would just pee in that sink and rinse it down with water. I am so glad we never got in any accidents especially when I was sitting on that sink. Flying through a windshield is bad enough but doing it with your pants down would add insult to injury.


We were outside a lot as kids and I barely remember putting on sunscreen. I will be sending my Dad my dermatology bill. I can understand why just a little bit because after I finish lathering up my 3 monkeys almost 30 minutes has gone by. Dad was great about bug spray but hair and teeth brushing and baths, too time consuming. I have very naturally curly hair that my Mom insisted I wear in an afro style. Very traumatic hairdo for a white girl to have in the '70's but I would fight tooth and nail whenever a brush came my way so it had to be kept short. Now that I have kids of my own I have forgiven her for this. My Dad had no desire to waste his precious weekend time fighting with me about brushing my hair, so it just didn't happen. By Sunday
night we would return to our Mom's house sunburned, smelly and I would have dreadlocks.

When my Dad's 2nd wife's daughters first met me they thought I was a mentally retarded boy. Sad because I was already sprouting breasts but I covered those up with a couple of tank tops under a baggy shirt. While meeting Ana and Rachel for the first time, they were so girly and pretty looking I was mute with shyness. So they thought I was a mentally retarded boy who didn't talk. Nice.


Of all the moms I know the quickest way to strike a look of fear in their eyes is to mention drowning. But growing up there seemed to be ungaurded standing water everywhere. Pools without fences, plastic kiddie pools left out in the sun to warm up, (I empty mine immediately when the kids are done), and when camping with my Dad we often went to campgrounds with rivers and lakes. We were free to wander for hours and he would even let us take out his aluminum fishing boat with an outboard motor. My step-sister cured him of that when she dropped the motor in the middle of the lake, Doh! But nobody ever drowned. So am I completely paranoid ? Because I have a barely 2 inch creek behind my house, which my kids would need to scale a 6 ft. fence to get to and I am not going to let them go back there unsupervised until they are in their late teens.

Ok I can go on and on about all the wondeful and highly dangerous activities that we enjoyed as kids but I want to hear other moms' stories. What crazy stuff did you do as a kid? What stuff are you willing to let your kids do? What is an absolute No-No for your kids?


I have to say that I am very strict about water safety but I let my kids climb on everything and get really dirty and they eat random stuff off of the ground all of the time. Gross but basically I can't get to them fast enough and who knows what stuff gets in their gullet when I am not looking. I will let my kids shoot a gun but only under the supervision of my brother Bill or my brother-in-law Chris. Bill is a Navy Seal and Chris has been safely shooting since a child so I trust them.

Feel free to share in the comments section. Of course the funnier the better.

Suburban Style 2009

This is Jake putting fashion first. I am really proud of him because it took at least 5 minutes of screaming fits to put that boot on all by himself. He is almost 2 years old so I wasn't allowed to help, this was a moment of pure autonomy. He is squinting in
the glare of the paparazzi flashbulbs.

Jake's really voguing and striking a pose on our version of the red carpet. He is standing in our wreck room and yes we do live like slobs.

The Toyes- Smoke Two Joints

It's 5:05p.m., and it's Friday.
You are in the bay area and you are listening to KFOG.
Need I say more?

Depression Kills

I just heard that a local mom may have committed suicide. I would never sully her family's name by mentioning her on my smart-ass blog. I am writing this only to remind, mothers/parents/people to take care of themselves. Suicide should never be an option.

Here are a list of local resources for Contra Costa County:

NAMI National Alliance for the Mentally Ill is a wonderful resource for individuals and families. Our closest office seems to be Concord.

U.S.A. and California Suicide and Crisis Hotlines Scroll down this site for a list of hotline numbers for every county in California. I have not called these to verify, of course I wouldn't want to tie up their lines, but remember we are in a economic crisis in California. If any of these numbers don't work due to budget cuts DO NOT GIVE UP! Call the next closest county, somebody who cares is waiting to listen to you.

Child Abuse Prevention for Contra Costa County Before you gloss over this thinking you don't need this let me point out that they have a list of links on the right side of the website, the first one titled Surviving Parenthood. Hello! Everyone I know needs to read that! In the less than 10 minutes it took for me to write this my 3 year old stripped naked and unrolled a roll of toilet paper and she is my easy kid!

Also the women that work at this place don't get a lot of funding but they work their asses off. I know because I have been to their office in Concord to donate a crib and a Bjorn, there were no fancy cars in the parking lot and they were ridiculously grateful for the donation.

I wish I could post more resources but I gotta go get Mike from Pre-K and I need to help Bekah put her clothes back on and wipe Jake's nose.


Remember, take a deep breath.........................it helps you yell Help a lot louder.