I realize it's been awhile. I started blogging way back when all three kids still napped and we haven't had a real nap around here since my youngest was 2 years old and now he is almost 5! I promise to add more content to my blog this year. As well as carving more time for working out and not eating like a pig. I have a wedding cruise to attend in May and I don't want to be all matronly looking.
In the meantime I got myself a job. A once a month gig writing for a newsletter for an agency that offers services to kids with Autism. I will not name the agency here just in case anything I have written here pisses anyone off. This is my kind of job too! Once a month effort and I get paid in beer. Below is my first endeavor, it's rated G but enjoy anyways.
"First let me introduce
myself. My name is Charlotte Gracer and I am a stay-at-home mother
to 3 kids. My oldest son is 7 years old and was diagnosed at the age
of 5 years old with ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder. My youngest
son is 4 years old and was diagnosed with Autism before age 3, and
just recently we added ADHD to make life more fun. I also have a 6
year old daughter who is typically developing, and very sassy. I'm
also responsible for a 41 year old husband and a 6-toed cat.
I am in no way an expert
on parenting, in any form, and I am not even being paid to write
this. I am merely sharing my experiences, and if anything I share
makes you feel less alone, or better about your choices, than my job
here has purpose.
The experts in this
newsletter will be educating you about establishing changes in
behavior and the minimum amount of time that takes for a change to
stick. An excruciating 6 weeks. If you want to learn, read her
article, I am just here because misery enjoys company.
As I am writing this we
are smack dab in the middle of Regression Time, or Winter Break. But
this year I was much smarter than last, when I thought the Fall would
be an excellent time to start potty-training. Wrong. Just when we
would get the youngest using the potty, it would be time for
Thanksgiving Break. Loads of laundry later, he would go back to
school, and tons of success. Then Winter Break. Laundry, carpets
cleaned, van detailed, then we are back in school and back on track.
Well I guess you can see a pattern here. It wasn't until after MLK
day, and Spring break where we finally had a nice, solid, chunk of
time for him to get the routine down pat. Including wiping his own
butt!!
This year I was smart
enough to realize that if we can just maintain behaviors, expect some
regression, and not launch into any new challenges then we are
golden. The key, for our family, was to maintain as much of a normal,
consistent schedule as we possibly could during the holidays. Which
is hard, I know. We let them stay up 30 minutes later, but the
bedtime routine was exactly the same. And if they had a late night
then we would try our hardest to make the next day, or next evening
mellow.
This habit of sticking to
our routine has rewarded us with only minimal backsliding in
behavior. My daughter has been whining a bit more, I can tell my
oldest is a little anxious because he will ask me continually what we
are doing that day, and my youngest has started his screaming again.
But just a little screaming, and only twice in public. I will take
what I can get.
Now it's back to school
time. Back to established bedtimes, back to homework, back to not
putting whipped cream in my coffee every morning. I have made a New
Year's resolution to lose weight. So I am all too aware that I have 6
torturous weeks of changing my eating habits to look forward. Well
after these wonderful holidays it's going to be more like detox. No
more beer, bacon and cookies. But I have been down this road before,
and I know if I can make it through the 6 weeks it takes to change my
behavior, I will re-establish a habit of healthy eating. I need to
keep my eyes on the prize. Just in time for the heart shaped boxes of
chocolate of Valentine's Day to tempt me back into regression. "
On December 1st 2011 the bay area lost a landmark. Every body's favorite news talk radio station completely disemboweled themselves and fired the majority of their popular talk-show hosts. With no warning at all. No warning to their staff and no warning to their loyal listeners. This blog post by a media insider explains it best.
I realize I just lost some readers who cannot understand why I would write about something so silly as a radio station changing their format, but this station was over 30 years old. I am 41 years old, as of today, and I have been listening to this station since I was a child. It has been a constant, just like watching Saturday Night Live or The Simpsons. You tune in and they are there, always. KGO was a landmark of the bay area.
KGO fired all of their talent and now just do news 24/7, with the exception of their 9a-Noon program, which I will discuss later. (grumble, grumble). The bay area is a diverse, even eclectic micro-climate of micro-climates. You can visit the beach and then some snow, in one day, if there is a light dusting on our bay area mountain peaks. You can witness the Tea Party of Contra Costa County and visit a Nuclear Free Zone in Berkeley, all in one day. The former KGO was a perfect example of this diversity. You may not like every host, agree with every host, but they were real people with real opinions and they were all the best of the industry. And now they are gone. The station is now generic news. Generic does not represent anything about the bay area.
But wait, not all of their talk show hosts are gone! We still have Ronn Owens from 9am-Noon. Who is currently on vacation for two weeks so don't bother tuning in to him yet. On the first day of this format he pleaded with his listeners to give the new format a chance and he said he would set aside some time for people to call in and discuss this drastic change. Uhm, 20 minutes of call in time. Over 30 years of content and we get 20 minutes of grieving time. I have always been a huge fan of Ronn Owen's until Friday December 2nd. His "concern" was so insincere, so contrived. When a caller started to bemoan the loss of all those talented hosts Ronn Owens actually said, "You still have me.". He just doesn't get it. KGO is not just Ronn Owens, it was a total package.
Now the package has been ripped to shreds and will soon completely disintegrate. I am not being overly dramatic, in the wake of this horrible business move made by Cumulus quite a few Facebook and twitter accounts have sprung anew lamenting the loss of our local talent. We are peons next to this corporate giant but our pleas are not futile. Some sponsors have already suspended their accounts; Thank you so much for writing and I guess taking a look at the Gene Burns/KGO page on our website. We are just as shocked as you and just as upset. I am the advertising agency for both Just Remnants and Burgermeister. All advertising on KGO for both clients was suspended at 9:00 am this
morning.
I was one of the first advertisers to recognize the genius of Gene Burns
some 16 years ago.
I am heartbroken after a 37 year relationship with KGO and a 50 + year
relationship with Mickey Luckoff and a 16 year personal relationship with
Gene.
Jerry
And angry loyal fans are pressuring other advertisers to do the same.
KGO will never be the same but if they work hard to hire back their dearly missed hosts, and go back to the format we loved, we may just be able to forgive them.
Teriyaki Turkey Burgers are one of my favorite meals. They are yummy served over rice but that bumps up the points a lot. So you can serve them over lettuce.
1 lb. lean ground turkey 1 egg salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste 8 Tbs. Teriyaki sauce (like Kikkoman's) 1/2 tsp. powdered ginger can of pineapple rings in juice, with 8 Tbs. juice reserved electric skillet if you have one Romaine or green leaf lettuce as much as you want.
Put turkey in bowl, make a well and crack egg into it. Take off your rings and squish it all up. Add salt, pepper, and garlic powder, squish a little more and form 4 patties. Pre-heat skillet to med-high heat. Whisk Teriyaki sauce, ginger and pineapple juice together in bowl.
Brown each burger 1-2 minutes each side in skillet. Reduce heat to low or simmer on electric skillet. Pour at least 2 Tbs. of sauce over each burger, and simmer with lid on for 2 minutes. Flip burgers and pour 2 more Tbs. of sauce (that should finish it off) over each burger and simmer for 2 more minutes with lid on so the sauce doesn't boil off. Check center of burger to make sure it's not pink. Serve over lettuce topped with a pineapple ring.
Turkey burger with egg is 4.5 points, the sauce for each burger is 1.5 points, each pineapple ring is 1/2 a point. Lettuce is zero points. So one turkey burger with pineapple and lettuce is 6.5 points.
I have had writer's block lately. That thing called life keeps getting in the way. I asked my "fans" on my Facebook page to inspire me and give me some topics. Both Clare and Jen asked if I had any regrets or if I could go back in a time machine what year would I change.
The answer is no. Every decision I have made, or experience that I have had, has made me the person I am today and I don't want to change that. Even the bad stuff, because it's better the devil you know, than the devil you don't.
I have been mulling about this topic all morning. When this happens my brain turns into a cable news channel. No matter what is happening on the main screen there is a line of words continuously scrolling across the bottom. I am engaged with my present life but there is that scroll of words, which are my thoughts, just moving and changing as I edit out or in what I am going to blog about later.
At first I thought I am going to list every decision or experience I have ever had and blog about why I don't regret it. But as I did a mental review of my life I got bored, sad, and embarrassed. I realized any readers were going to have those same feelings. I can handle you being sad or embarrassed but not bored!
This blog is supposed to be about moms not easily offended by the realities of life so I decided to be real. No fluffy stuff. If you can't handle that right now then you are welcome to bail and go read Moms Who Drink and Swear (my favorite).
I am going to write about experiences and decisions I have made, but only since becoming a mother. So as to keep it brief, and not bore the shit out of everyone. Below will be a list of the topics:
Having kids
Getting pregnant on my honeymoon
Not breastfeeding beyond 6 months
Getting a nanny even though I am a stay-at-home-mom
Abortion/Autism/The big V
Buying this house
Anti-depressants
Starting my blog
Quitting the Mom's Club before getting kicked out of it
Mike's diagnosis
Re-joining the Mom's Club
Almost losing my colon
Right now
If you are starting to get bored already I will just tell that the question is do I regret any of these and the answer is no. But if you want to know why then read on.
Having kids: For those who have known me pre marriage I used to say that I didn't want to have kids at all. And I meant it. But that's because I never met a man who I thought was capable of being a good father. Then I found Erik. Problem solved, he is a kick ass dad, husband and my best friend.
Getting pregnant on my honeymoon: I don't regret that though it was surprising and a tad inconvenient. I was wearing maternity clothes and still sending out thank you cards for wedding gifts.
Not breastfeeding beyond 6 months: I only lasted this long with Mike because he was a bad sucker and I mostly pumped and fed him breast milk from a bottle anyways. And I wouldn't have gotten pregnant with Bekah if I had continued to breastfeed him. I only lasted 6 months with Bekah because I needed to go on an antibiotic for 2 weeks so I just quit. I lasted 10 months with Jake because he was a good sucker and by then I could nurse and walk around and yell at the other two.
Getting a nanny: LOSER! You are a stay-at-home-mom and you have a nanny how fucking lazy are you?! This is what I used to think about women with nannies. Then when Bekah was 5 weeks old I was nursing her and Mike got mad because Sesame Street ended so he launched himself off the couch, did a flip, landed on his head, held his breath and passed out. I thought he was going to be a paraplegic. I put Bekah on the floor and dialed 9-1-1. Mike was of course fine and showed the super cute firemen his firetruck. I was still in my jammies with milk leaking from my breasts and generally looked like shit. The next day I started the search for a nanny and I never looked back. When you find the right person to care for your kids you realize that there is nothing wrong with another person loving your children.
Abortion/Autism/The big V: Life was perfect! I had a boy, I had a girl, my husband's practice was going great, our house had gone up in value and then blam I got pregnant again! The birth control pill failed me for the first time in my life. I was NOT going to have 3 kids all under the age of 3 years old and all in diapers, oh hell no!!!!! But my husband talked me out of it, he said,"Families who can afford to feed their kids don't have abortions.". And I am glad I listened. He did schedule a vasectomy that day to be done in the future.
Some of you may be thinking that, "Wow she chose to have her son and then he ended up having Autism. I wonder if she regrets that.". No. He's the cutest one. I don't regret, I don't resent. His dimples, big brown eyes and blonde curls are those of an angel. And that's what he is. A mystery, a challenge, an angel. Every day I am a better person because of him. That doesn't mean I don't yell at him like I do to my other two but sometimes when nobody is looking I give him extra candy. He's my baby. He's my heart walking outside of my body that I will never be able to fully protect.
Please watch this video while I go dab my eyes. It never fails to make me laugh.
Buying this house: I miss my old house. It had a giant grassy yard with tons of trees. But it was too small for our growing family. So we put it up for sale, and selling that house and moving into this house, which tanked in value almost did me in. I started to bite my fingernails for the first time in my life. Keeping a house clean enough to sell with 3 kids under the age of 3 was brutal and then moving and unpacking......actually I never finished unpacking and we have been here for 4 years. But we have a bigger house and someday the value will be regained. And our old house was perfect for the family that moved into it.
Anti-depressants: Shortly after we moved into this house I started to wean Jake. I had gotten pregnant so quickly after having Bekah and Mike that I never experienced any post-partum "feelings". I really thought I had escaped it, and I was so happy because that sure didn't look fun. And then I weaned Jake and my body was not nursing and not pregnant for the first time in 3 years. I won't share the gory details, if you have been there yourself you don't want to hear it anyways. I used to think anti-depressants were for weak people. IDIOT!!!! I will never go off of them, ever. If momma ain't happy then ain't nobody happy.
Starting my blog: I had another blog before this, "You Sure Do Have Your Hands Full." Erik suggested I write to help me get stuff off my chest. Marrying him was the best choice I ever made even though he created a monster with the whole blog thing. It was a great idea but it got me in trouble and that blog is private now. Read below.
Quitting the Mom's Club before getting kicked out: I promise not to rehash this embarrassing episode of my life. You can read about it here. I don't regret that because I wouldn't have started this blog.
Mike's Diagnosis: March 2 years ago my oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD and Sensory Processing disorder and my youngest was diagnosed with Autism. Not a good month. I went through all the stages of denial etc. etc. and now I look at Mike's diagnosis as a gift and Jake's as a challenge. All my children are gifts I don't deserve.
Re-joining the Mom's Club: Yep after all that drama I asked to return. I still had a young one at home and he needed socialization. I am totally glad I did even if I had to swallow my pride.
Almost losing my colon: The last year and a 1/2 were the worst for my health. I have Ulcerative Colitis and almost lost my colon. Last ditch switch to a new medication and I am totally happy and healthy again.
Right now: I am good! I am healthy, so are my kids. All of them are excelling in school and we are taking Jake to a developmental pediatrician to get a more detailed treatment plan. My husband is moving into a brand new office and even though he is a grouchy ass nervous wreck right now, it's going to be wonderful. I have an awesome support system of friends and family and I am so grateful for everything in my life.
I don't regret anything. Here is a song to express my feelings.
Wait for it.......right after the minute mark and it's worth it.
